Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sequins Are Not Sensible Winter Wear!

Sequin Earmuffs from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts Annual, 1952

“Sequin Earmuffs. This teen-ager keeps cozy, looks glamorous on the co-old drive to the high school formal. Earmuffs are pretty, made in two pastel colors, matching sequins, or in black with silver sequins.”

This silly young lady would rather risk freezing to death than wear a hat and muss up her glamorous hair-do on the “co-old” drive to the dance. No doubt she foolishly believes that her sequined earmuffs will spare her young Charlotte’s sad fate.

But kicky earmuffs don’t do anything other than keep your ears warm while your body heat escapes out the top of your head. And the kicker is that you won’t even feel your head getting cold. Instead your hands and feet will feel chilly, while your body desperately tries to keep your vital organs alive and kicking. Then once the hypothermia kicks in, you’ll be kicking the frozen bucket in not time.

Now are you going to wear a nice, sensible winter hat?


Sigh... well, don’t say Mother didn’t try to warn you!

For the complete pattern (because obviously you’re determined to go without a hat, and break your Mother’s heart):

It’s important to be firm with your sequins. If you are too permissive with them, they’ll run wild.

And the next thing you know, instead of lying flat like a good sequin, they’ll be smoking and hanging out on street corners.

So take a firm hand with your sequins, or before you know it, you’ll be starring in the next episode of “When Good Sequins Go Bad”.

Not even your perfectly lacquered red nails will save your reputation then.


MATERIALS: Knit-Cro-Sheen, 1 ball each aqua blue (color 178) and pink (color 46A). 1 ready-made set earmuffs.
What? You mean we’re not actually making our earmuffs from scratch?

I feel cheated!
Steel crochet hook No. 9. Flat metallic sequins, 165 to0 175 (1 1/2’’ strung) of aqua blue, 90 to 100 (1’’ strung) of pink.

String sequins on corresponding colors of thread. See General Directions for Sequin Crochet (page 52) for threading and measuring sequins.
I’ll include this part, even though we’re not really making Sequin Earmuffs. We’re just making Sequin Earmuff Cozies which isn’t nearly as exciting.
To Thread Sequins: Always thread sequins on a large sewing needle with the right side going on first. This is very important as there is a right and wrong side to sequins. Using the ball of crochet thread (suggested in the directions) thread end of cotton in a needle, the proper size to accommodate both sequins and cotton. Have the sewing needle 12 or 15 inches from end of cotton and do not push the sequins past the double thread until they are measured. A shallow box may be used as a tray for picking up and threading the sequins. A piece of white cloth draped loosely at the bottom of the box and held in place with the lid placed underneath bottom of box, will be helpful.

To Measure Sequins: Almost all flat sequins, when pushed close together, measure approximately 120 sequins to the inch. Measuring sequins this way eliminates counting them.

EARMUFF (Make 2)
Please note, this pattern is not intended for One Eared Artists.

Or Three Eared Rabbits.

With blue, ch 11.
Rnd 1: Picking up 1 lp of ch, 1 s c in 3rd ch and in each ch across, having 10 sts counting turning-ch, inc 1 s c in last ch, 2 s c in opposite side of same ch, 1 s c in 1 lp of each ch on other side of starting ch, 2 incs at end, join to turning ch-3 with sl st.
Rnd 2: Ch 3, * 1 sequin d c in next st (throw thread and sequin over hook, insert in work, take loops off hook 2 at a time behind sequin),
Whew! This is exciting stuff, after all. Watch you don’t throw your thread and sequin around too enthusiastically.

It’s all fun and crafts, until someone loses an eye.
1 d c in each of next 2 sts, repeat from * around, with incs at ends to keep work flat, join at top of ch-3 with sl st.
Rnd 3: Ch 1, s c around, increasing to keep work flat, join with sl st, break thread.
Rnd 4: Attach pink at opposite end, work same as rnd 2.
Rnd 5: Like rnd 3, but do not break thread.
Rnd 6 and 7: Like rnds 2 and 3, break thread.
Rnd 8: Attach blue, like rnd 2.
Rnd 9: S c around with no incs, join.
Rnd 10: Ch 3, picking up back lp only, 1 d c in each st around, join.
Rnd 11: Ch 1, picking up back lp only, s c around with 1 dec every 6th st, join, break thread about 1/2 yd. from work. Trim away long nap on ready-made earmuffs to make smooth and rounded.
This is not the kind of nap which you enjoy during long winter afternoons. This “nap” refers to the fuzz on any kind of fuzzy material.

In other words, if your muffs look like this, you’ll have to cut off all the fur until there’s nothing left but bare muff.

So, if you do happen to own a pair of $140 Coyote Fur Earmuffs, lined with goatskin leather, you may want to think twice about covering them with sequins.
Thread sewing needle with 1/2 yd. of thread, place crocheted pieces over earmuffs, draw thread through every other st of last row and pull thread tight. Secure thread.

HEADPIECE: With blue, ch 11.
Row 1: S c in 3rd ch and in each ch across, making 10 sts counting turning-ch, ch 3, turn.
Row 2: 1 d c in each of next 4 sts, 1 sequin d c in next st, 1 d c in next st, 1 sequin d c in next st, 1 d c in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, turn.
Row 3: S c across, ch 3, turn.
Rows 4 and 5: Like rows 2 and 3. Continue this pat for length of headpiece, which has been adjusted to desired length. End with a s c row, break thread, leave end for sewing. Sew edges of piece tog along one side of headpiece, having sequins on top side of headpiece.
Now you’re ready to join Frozen Charlotte’s skating party!

But don’t despair! Canadian poet Robert Service has a sure-fired cure to get you all warm and toasty again.

Click here for the printable pattern.


  1. I've been up much of the night reading your blog and laughing my head and my ass and everything else off. This is the funniest post yet! And even though these are mere sequined earmuff cozies rather than true earmuffs, I want to make them!

    1. Bless your heart, Kathryn! I'm so glad you're enjoying my blog.

      And please, please, please make these shiny almost-real-ear-muffs. Then take pictures. And send me the pictures!

      Just don't wear them on extra cold nights.

  2. Hmm...y'know, you could probably use jar lids (plastic, not metal) instead earmuffs. You put something warm and soft in the lids, like quilt batting, then pop the cozies on them, then crochet the headband over wire, or maybe a headband, and crochet each end of if to the earpieces. Of course, that might mean making a headband cozy, so...

    1. May I suggest a poodle headband cozy? I currently don't have any patterns, but you could base it off the Poodle Soap Cozies. :-)

      Poodles and sequins, how could you go wrong?