“Sweetheart,” said Grandma, “aren’t there any other hobbies you might enjoy?”
“Mommy, please stop knitting,” pleaded the children.
“Put the yarn down right now, or I’ll divorce you!” her husband bellowed.
But Bonnie was firmly in the grip of her Acrilan Addiction and was unstoppable.
And so it came to pass that their 1976 Family Christmas Card featured a photo of everyone wearing their new Acrilan shrink resistant toques and moth proof mufflers, desperate, colorfast smiles pasted on their faces.
For more Seasonal Snark:
“Let’s all try to smile for the pictures,” said Grandma, a life long Kenny Rogers fan.
“And we’ll hold it as long as we can,” added Grandpa, grimly.
“Big boys don’t cry.”
“Bitsy’s lucky,” said Big Sister. “She’s too little to remember when we had a real mommy.”
“Soon as I learn to walk,” Bitsy thought, “I’m outta here!”
“Goddammit, I don’t care if all we’ve got left in the house is some peppermint schnapps and Vicks Formula 44 cough syrup, I’m getting drunk tonight!”
“Help.”
“Tonight, they die. All of them.”
Posts
I think that cat really does have evil on its mind. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the hilarity!
I completely love this. I want it to be my Christmas card to everyone this year, but they would think I was completely mad. Thank you for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteAngela
Yes--I was hoping you had this one in your collection.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad everyone has the same reaction to this ad that I did! That cat cracks me up every time I see him.
ReplyDeleteYup. I don't know if you got the rest of them right or not, but you nailed the cat bang on!
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, Siamese cats are always plotting our destruction. :-)
ReplyDelete