Winona, The Witch

Winona, The Witch, from Crochet World, October 1979

After the mind-boggling insanity of the Toreador Costume, it’s time for a pattern which any reasonably accomplished crocheter should be able to complete in time for this Halloween.

Mind you, Winona’s got her own special brand of insanity. And this time I’m not asking you to just take my word for it. Allow Winona’s creator, Carol E. Corpse – I mean, Corpuz to explain:

“Once upon a time there was a watch named, ‘Winona’.”

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Yes, you read that correctly. Winona is a Watch. *snerk*

Okay, okay, I shouldn’t get such malicious joy from a typo. What Carol meant to say was that Winona is a Swatch.

Every night on Halloween, Winona flew on her broom.

But only on Halloween. The rest of the year she drove a Volkswagon Beetle.

She was not a very wicked witch...

Or watch.

...because she loved children...

Roasted with sage butter, right? Right?

...so on Halloween, instead of scaring the trick-or-treaters, she made sure that they all got home safely after collecting all of their treats.

Aw!

Well... it was a nice story to tell.

Carol doesn’t sound convinced by her own story. Does she suspect that Winona was up to something more nefarious? Given the other crimes witches have been accused of, blackmailing trick-or-treaters out of their candy in exchange for getting home safely is pretty tame stuff.

Winona will enhance any Halloween party, as a centerpiece (or a door prize). Hang her from the ceiling and let her be considered your official mascot.

I can just imagine answering my front door. “Hello, welcome to my home. Why, yes, that is a witch hanging in effigy from my living room ceiling. What do you mean you’re Wiccan?”

She is especially nice to make for toddlers who aren’t able to go trick-or-treating at their young age.

Although you’d better make sure that Winona’s non-toxic and free of any possible choking hazards first. Parents get cranky when you give their children potentially deadly treats.

Whatever reason you choose to make her, I am sure the end result will be a delight . . . happy Halloween!

WINONA, The Witch

MATERIALS: 4 ounces of black rug yarn (acrylic). 2 ounces or less of the following colors: bright lime green, bright hot orange, yellow, brown, red and blue 4 ply yarn. Size G crochet hook, yarn needle, polyester fiberfill, floral tape and a chopstick.

Yeah, there’s no way toddlers could injure themselves with a chopstick.

HEAD

With lime, ch 4; join to form ring, 8 sc in ring. At end of rnd, mark with dark piece of yarn (for beg of rnd).

Wow, lime green skin. Clearly Winona’s suffering from a severe case of Chlorosis. She should lay off the candy and start taking some iron pills.

RNDS 2 – 3: * 2 sc in next sc, 1 sc in next sc, repeat from * around.

RNDS 4 – 5: Sc in each sc around.

RND 6: Repeat rnd 3.

RNDS 7 – 8: Sc in each sc around.

RND 9: Decrease next 2 sts, sc in next 4 sc, decrease in next 2 sc, sc in next 4 sc, decrease in next 2 sc, ch 5, skip 2 sc, sc in next sc.

RNDS 10 – 11: Sc in each dc and ch around, decreasing 3 sts evenly around.

Since there are no dc’s anywhere in this pattern so far, I’m going to assume Carol meant to write “sc”. Maybe she needed to lay off the nose candy.

RNDS 12 – 15: Sc in each sc around.

RND 16: Ch 3, dc in each sc around, leaving a 3’’ thread allowance; break off. Stuff head, and sew top of head with the 3’’ thread allowance.

NOSE: Ch 9, join to form ring, 9 sc in ring.

RND 2: Sc in each sc around, decreasing 3 sts evenly.

RNDS 3 – 5: Sc in each sc around; end off leaving 6’’ thread allowance. Sew to nose hole in face.

Logic dictates that the thread allowance should be on the end you sew to the face. But the larger (and wide open!) part of the nose is on the other end with the ch 9 ring. I think you’d be better off leaving a 6’’ tail on your beginning chain and using that to sew the nose to the face.

HAIR: With brown, cut fifteen 12’’ strands. Using a size 8 steel crochet hook, insert in top of head, fold 12’’ strand, and pull through and knot as you would a tassel. Do this with the rest of the yarn strands, placing them evenly around the face and head. Trim hair so that it is even all around.

“Fold 12’’ strand...” what? In thirds? In fifths? I’m guessing Carol probably meant in half, but feel free to keep folding until you have an origami crane.

Speaking of 12’’ strands, brown is a surprisingly conventional hair color for a Witch with bright lime green skin. Why not use some nice 70s burnt orange instead?

This is young Winona before she suffered the Heartbreak of Chlorosis.

HAT

Make 2: Ch 4, 2 dc in 1st ch, ch 3, turn. (Use black yarn.)

ROW 2: 1 dc in same sp as ch 3, 1 dc in next dc, 2 dc in last dc, ch 3, turn.

ROW 3: 1 dc in same sp as ch 3, 2 dc in next dc, 1 dc in next 2 dc, 2 dc in next and last dc, ch 3, turn.

ROW 4: Dc in same sp as ch 3, 1 dc in next 8 dc, 2 dc in last dc; end off.

HAT BRIM: With black, ch 22, join to form ring. Ch 3, 30 dc in ring, join to top of ch 3 at beg of rnd; end off. Sew top part of hat together and stuff lightly, then sew brim to hat. Slip hat over top part of head; with black yarn, sew securely to head, making sure that hair falls evenly around face.

BODY

Work crochet tightly.

Considering you’re using a 4mm (G) hook on Rug Yarn (A.K.A. Bulky), I don’t see how you could work your crochet in any manner other than tightly.

With black, ch 15, join to form ring. Ch 3, 20 dc in ring, join.

RND 2: Ch 3, dc in same sp, 2 dc in each dc around, join.

RND 3: Ch 3, dc in each dc around, join.

RND 4: Ch 1, sc in same sp, dec in next dc, sc in next 3 dc, dec twice, sc in next dc, dec to end of round.

RND 5: Sc in each st around (23 sc).

RND 6: Ch 3, dc in same sp, * 1 dc in next sc, 2 dc in next sc, repeat from * around, join.

RNDS 7 – 9: Ch 3, 1 dc in each dc around. Break off, leaving a 24’’ yarn allowance to sew bottom with. Stuff body.

BOTTOM: Ch 4, join to form ring. Ch 3, 11 dc in ring, join.

RND 2: Ch 3, dc in same sp, * 2 dc in next dc, repeat from * around, join.

RND 3: Ch 3, dc in same sp, * 1 dc in next dc, 2 dc in next dc, repeat from * around. Join and end off. Sew to body with 24’’ strand of yarn.

ARMS: Ch 15, sc in 3rd ch from hook and in each ch across.

ROWS 2 – 5: Ch 3, dc in each dc across, ch 1, turn.

ROW 6: Sc along side evenly (as if to sew it together). Break off, turn piece just made, inside out.

“As if to sew it together” implies that we’re not actually supposed to sew it together. On the other hand, if we don’t, then how on earth are we supposed turn the thing inside out? Perhaps Carol actually meant to say, “Sc through both sides simultaneously, sewing it tog”.

Okay, I’m getting a bit annoyed with Carol’s shaky instructions, but what really ticks me off is that the Crochet World’s pattern editor wasn’t watching her back! There is a sacred trust between a pattern designer and editor, and it is my sacred duty as a blogger to take to task any pattern editors who fail to meet the high standards of their noble calling.

Well, that and imply they have a drug problem for cheap laughs.

Attach lime, 13 sc around evenly, 2 more rnds of sc in each sc around, ch 6, fold together, sc through 2 sc, on hand (as if sewing hand tog), * ch 8, sc through 2 sc on hand, repeat from * twice, ch 10, sc in last 2 sc on rnd, end off. Stuff and sew to upper part of body.

Now this is a very good example of when “as if sewing hand tog” is appropriate, since we’re not actually sewing the whole hand together. We’re just making adorably loopy little fingers.

LEGS: (Make 2): With orange, ch 20, sc in 3rd ch from hook and in each ch across.

RNDS 2 – 11: Sc in same sp as ch 2, and in each sc across. Break off. Sew sides together.

SHOES

Attach black to where you just broke off orange yarn. Ch 3, 4 dc evenly spaced together, ch 3, turn.

ROWS 2 – 3: Dc in each dc across (5 dc). End off. The piece just completed is the sole. For upper portion of shoe, ch 3, dc in 1st st twice, ch 3, turn. Dc in same sp as ch 3, 1 dc in next dc, 2 dc in last dc. Ch 3, turn. Dc in same sp as ch 3, and in each dc across. End off and sew to sole. With 6’’ strand of black yarn, weave through beg part of shoe, and tie a bow. Stuff leg and shoe. Sew to bottom of body with black yarn.

BROOM

With yellow yarn, cut twenty-six 12’’ strands. Take one strand and fold it in half, placing the rest of the strands in center of yarn just folded. Tie a double knot so it is held securely. With red, sew 2 rows of straight stitch across top part of broom. With a chopstick use floral tape to attach broom together. Weave broom in fingers of Winona the Witch.

Yep, we’re done, and if you’ve been following the instructions precisely, Winona the Witch is both headless and faceless. So perhaps once you’ve finished fooling around with the chopstick broom, you might want to sew her head to her body and embroider eyes and a mouth on her face. Just a thought.

Because, believe me, you don’t ever want to annoy a Witch.

Click here for the printable pattern