Warning - Excessive Keenness May Cause Premature Aging

Brunswick Ad from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts, Spring-Summer, 1969

Keen Teens go for match-ups!

And evidently so do...

For even more snark:

 

... their repressed suburban mothers. Thank goodness for Brunswick’s matching yarns and fabrics, otherwise Donna’s lemon yellow cardigan wouldn’t perfectly match her steel-wool-coloured skirt. She says it’s just the thing to wear while obsessive compulsively cleaning house! Donna’s secretly relieved that her husband’s having an affair, so she doesn’t have to bother with that messy sex business anymore.

And their flighty, colour-mad, alcoholic aunts. Barbara’s fun, but also kinda scary. Especially when she starts driving the wrong way down Main Street with her head out the window, screaming at random strangers. But good news, boys, she’s still single!

However the one fellow a keen teen can always count on to “go for a match-up” is fun-loving, young-minded Alfie.

He hangs out at the soda shop all day long, claiming he’s a senior in high school. All the kids know he just turned forty, and that he wears a toupee. Tonight, Alfie will re-read his old yearbooks until he cries himself to sleep. Good news, gals, he’s still single too!

So, let this be a lesson to keen teens everywhere. The pleasure begins at Needlework Departments, Yarn and Fabric Shops everywhere, but unsafe match-ups will only lead to a lifetime of regrets. And really dorky looking clothing.