It was a joke. A joke!
I didn’t mean little girls should actually start impersonating Mike Myers.
Because that’s just wrong!
Unless they’re competing in the West Virginia Walk of Fame, as seen on Toddlers & Tiaras, because it’ll win you the Grand Supreme! Not that I’ve ever watched that show. Really. I don’t even have it set on my DVR to record every Wednesday at 10 p.m. on TLC.
Because that would be wrong.
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
MATERIALS: 3 – 2 oz balls BOUQUET 4 ply KNITTING WORSTED WOOL or BOUQUET 3 ply SPORTS YARN.
1 only #2 PERFECTO 5’’ plastic crochet hook.
Fit chest up to: 24’’/28’’/32’’
Directions given for small size, other sizes in brackets.
TENSION: 2 1/2’’ over one shell using No 2 hook for all sizes.
To make: Work in on one piece to armholes. Ch 87 (95, 103).
Row 1: 1 tr in 6th ch from hook, * sk 3, ch 1, shell in next ch; sk 3 ch, 1 tr in next ch. Rep from * to end of row ending with 2 tr. Ch 4, turn – 10 (11, 12) shell patterns in row.
That’s right – just “shell”. You know what that means, right?Rows 2 and 3: Work 2 rows even in shell pattern as first row.
Okay, neither do I. I mean, I know what a shell is, but there’s so many different kinds!
However, this might work: *sk 3, ch 1, (2 tr, ch 2, 2 tr) in next ch – one shell made, sk 3 ch, 1 tr in next ch. (Although I’m a tad suspicious of that “ch 1” just sitting in there – what’s it for?)
And then when you start on the next row, make sure you make the new shells in the center ch 2 spaces of the old shells.
Let me know if this works!
Row 4: Work shell over shell twice, then 1 tr in next tr, ch 4, turn.
Row 5: Shell in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in tr, (1 tr, ch 2, 1 tr) in next ch 2 sp, 2 tr in edge. Ch 4, turn.
Row 6: 1 tr in next tr, 1 tr in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in next tr, 1 shell in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in turning ch, ch 4, turn.
Row 7: 1 shell in next ch 2 sp, 1 tr in next tr, sk 1 tr, 2 tr in edge, ch 4, turn.
Row 8: 1 tr in next tr, 1 shell in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in turning ch. Fasten off – 8 rows.
Of course, if your child wins the Grand Supreme because of my crochet instructions, I want a percentage of the loot. And the tiara!BACK
Sk 1 shell at underarm and work across 4 (5, 6) shell patterns at back for 5 rows. Fasten off.
Sk 1 shell at underarm and work decreases at front edge to correspond to other front.
To finish: Join at shoulder seams and work 1 row of 6 dc shells around back neck, front and lower edges and armholes.
Finish all ends.
Well, that was not as easy as the Fringed Vest and Headband. On the other hand, assuming I guessed correctly with regards to the shell pat, it shouldn’t be too hard.PANTS
Of course, that might be assuming a lot.
Oh, and we’ve still got to make the pants!
MATERIALS: 9 – 2 oz balls BOUQUET 4 ply KNITTING WORSTED WOOL or BOUQUET 3 ply SPORTS YARN.
1 only #2 PERFECTO 5’’ plastic crochet hook.
SIZES & TENSION: As Pattern E:
AKA the BoleroTo make: Start at waist – ch 88 (96, 104) – Join in a circle taking care not to twist chain.
Round 1: Ch 3 – 1 dc in each ch – 88 (96, 104) dc in ring.
Round 2: Work 1 row in shell pat as given for skirt – 11 (12, 13) shells in round.
Skirt? There’s a skirt?Work 4 more rounds even.
Well, what do you know! Here’s what the Skirt pat looks like:
“Round 2: Ch 4 *sk 3 dc, (2 tr, ch 2, 2 tr) in next dc shell made; sk 3 dc, 1 tr in next dc – repeat from * to end of round, joining last shell to ch 4.”
Which means that I guessed right with regards to the type of shell required. But it still doesn’t solve the mystery of that extra ch 1 space in the Bolero pattern.
I think it might even be... gasp, a typo!
Boy, I hope you haven’t already tried to make the Bolero.
To divide for the legs: Ch 12 (16, 12).
Yeah... legs. Utterly see-through, lacy pant legs that will force the child to wear thick, wooly tights if she doesn’t want to flash the entire school.Small: Join to ch 2 sp of the 6th shell in round – 1/2 way. This divides round into two equal parts.
These tights will then ride down between her thighs and bunch in the toes of her boots, and all the tugging in the world won’t make it any better. Or less itchy.
Traumatized by growing up in the seventies? Not me!
Next round: Ch 4, 1 tr, ch 2, 2 tr in the ch 2 sp where ch 12 was joined; sk 3 ch, 1 tr in next ch; sk 3 ch, 1 shell in next ch, sk 3 ch, 1 tr in the beg of chain, then complete the round in shell pattern – 7 shells in round for leg.
Medium: Join ch 16 to tr after 6th ch in round. This divides round into 2 equal parts.
Next round: Ch 4, sk 3 ch, 1 shell in next ch, sk 3 ch, 1 tr in next ch, sk 3 ch, 1 shell in next ch, sk 3 ch, 1 tr in the beg of the ch; then complete round in shell pattern – 8 shells in round for leg.
Large: Join ch 12 to ch 2 sp of the 7th shell in round – 1/2 way. This divides the round in 2 equal parts.
Next round: Ch 4, 1 tr ch 2, 2 tr in the ch 2 sp where ch 12 was joined; sk 3 ch, 1 tr in next ch; sk 3 ch, 1 shell in next ch, sk 3 ch, 1 tr in the beg of the chain; then complete the found in shell pattern – 8 shells in round for leg.
Now work on theses 7 (8, 8) shells for 10 (11, 12) more rows.
To make flare bottom: Next round: Ch 4 (2 tr, ch 2, 2 tr) in ch 2 sp, (1 tr, ch 2, 1 tr) in tr of last row – continue in pat for 3 (4, 4) more shells – (1 tr, ch 2, 1 tr) in next tr, then complete round.
Flare bottoms! Wow, that brings back memories of my absolutely, favorite outfit when I was in kindergarten. It was a red velour jumpsuit that looked just like this:
But without the cleavage.Next round: Ch 4, (2 tr, ch 2, 2 tr) in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in next tr (2 tr, ch 2, 2 tr) in ch 2 sp, 1 tr in next tr – 1 shell inc. Continue around in shell pat to next inc st then increase 1 shell in same manner – complete round 9 (10, 10) shells in round.
Work 4 (5, 6) rows even in shell pat.
Of course the best thing about that jumpsuit was that I didn’t have to wear wooly tights under it.Finish edge by making 6 dc in ch 2 sp, sc in tr – rep around for scallop edge.
Work other leg to correspond.
To finish: Make a 60’’ chain of double yarn and thread through dc round.
And if I looked like an escapee from a tiny tot ABBA tribute band, so much the better!Click here for the printable pattern.
I’d still dress like that, if I could get away with it.
Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted to!