Target Practice

The Target pattern from Handknits for Men by Beehive for All Occasions, c. 1944.

“Hey Dad, are you and Mom getting along?” Joe Junior asked.

“Of course we are, son. Why do you ask?”

“She seemed pretty steamed about that dishy new secretary you hired.”

“Tempest in a teapot. Why, your Mother made this sharp vest for me by way of apology.” Joe Sr. smiled. Thelma had a hot temper, but she wasn’t one to hold a grudge.

“Um, but Dad, it’s got a target right over your heart.”

“That’s because she also signed us up for archery classes. She’s almost as good as a man with her bow.”

Junior didn’t look appeased. “But, there’s arrows sticking right out of the target. It’s like Mom’s saying, shoot here!”

“Son, you got your suspicious mind from your Mother. Now, let’s forget all this nonsense, and go bang some balls on the tennis court.”

Joe Junior wasn’t surprised by the phone call he got next week about his father’s fatal archery accident. He was tempted to call the cops, but he was too scared. His Mother might knit up a vest for him too.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Here, Thelma’s grandmother practices her archery just before her husband’s fatal archery accident.

Target in EIGHT SIZES

That’s right, only EIGHT SIZES! If your philanderer is too small or large, you’ll just have to come up with a more creative punishment.

See instructions for “The Favourite” page 2. Embroidery chart see page 15.

And we’re done!

Seriously, that’s all the pattern booklet says. So, after a quick scan of the “Place Arrows Here” chart and a link to the Favourite, this will be the shortest Handmade by Motherpost evah.

What, I only transcribed the v-neck version and this vest has a round neck?

Well, shoot.

All right, here’s the gosh-darned pattern with a round neck, for you green-eyed monsters who want to target your fickle Favourite.

4 ply BEEHIVE FINGERING, PATONISED.

or

PATWIN 4 ply PATONIZED KNITTING WOOL WITH NYLON.

Just remember shooting him yourself is illegal. However, the jury’s still out on dressing someone up in the Target vest before a game of How Not to Be Seen.

For Quantity required, see below. Two No. 11 and two No. 10 Queen Bee Knitting Needles. One Stitch Holder.

FOR THE EMBROIDERY. See desired Chart for colours and design, pages 19, 20 and 32.

Tension: 7 ½ sts. and 10 rows = 1 inch with No. 10 needles.

Check tension– see page 33.

For Washing Instructions– see page 33.

Now, this is how you dress your archer if you actually want him to survive a Monty Python sketch.

MEASUREMENTS AND QUANTITY OF WOOL REQUIRED

(A) SIZES 38, 40, 42, 44

The instructions are written for size 38.
Sizes 40, 42, and 44 are written in brackets thus:—( )

THE SLEEVELESS PULLOVER WITH ROUND NECK

FRONT: With No. 11 needles cast on 128 sts. (40—136 sts.) (42—142 sts.) (44—148 sts.).

Work exactly as given for Back of Sleeveless Pullover, see page 13, to 94 sts on needle. (40—98 sts.) (42—102 sts.) (44—106 sts.). Continue even in Stocking st. until armhole from first shaping measures 6 1/2 ins. (40—7 ins.) (42—7 ins.) (44—7 1/2 ins.) ending with purl row.

Stocking stitch is just an old-fashioned name for stockinette. Although, these 1940s ladies found that dressing up in a natty outfit and stockings ensured that the men didn’t know what hit them.

Oh, and here’s page 13. Be sure to pack a lunch before setting out to find the couple of lines that actually apply to this pattern.

To shape neck: K33. (40—K35) (42—K37) (44—K39) Turn.

Leaving remaining sts. on spare needle, continue in Stocking st. on these 33 sts. (40—35 sts.) (42—37 sts.) (44—39 sts.) dec. 1. st. at neck edge every alternate row to 29 sts. on needle. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—33 sts.)

Now, if you’re concerned that the Target vest is too subtle a hint for other archers, you can always try this outfit.

Who knew the competition to join the 4 H Club of Maine was so cut throat?

Continue even until armhole from first shaping measures 9 ins. (40—9 1/2 ins.) (42—9 1/2 ins.) (44—10 ins.)

Shape shoulder as given for (A) Sleeveless Pullover with “V” Neck, see above.

Now, I could send you on a wild goose chase in “The Favourite” post. But I’m so nice, I cut and paste the old instructions instead.

Feel free to express your gratitude in poetry, song, or cash. Especially cash.

To shape shoulder: At armhole cast off 10 sts. every alternate row twice, 9 sts. once. (40—Cast off 10 sts. every alternate row 3 times) (42—Cast off 11 sts. every alternate row twice, 10 sts. once)(44—Cast off 11 sts. every alternate row 3 times)

With right side of work facing, join wool to sts. left on st. holder and work other side to correspond.

Leaving next 28 sts. (all sizes) on spare needle, with right side of work facing, join wool to remaining 33 sts. (40—35 sts.) (42—37 sts.) (44—39 sts.) and work other side to correspond.

BACK: See page 13.

AKA the Chart of Unusual Size scanned above.

Resist the temptation to make your target too oversized, or you might end up with a result of questionable taste.

NECKBAND: Work exactly as given for Neckband of (A) Pullover with Sleeves and Round Neck, see page 3. Sew right shoulder seam.

Sew left shoulder seam. Slip sts. from st. holder at back of neck onto No. 11 needle. With right side of work facing join wool and with No. 11 needles knit these sts. Pick up and knit 28 sts. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—34 sts.) along left side of neck. Knit across sts. from spare needle at front of neck. Pick up and knit 28 sts. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—34 sts.) along right side of neck. Work 9 rows ribbing (K1.P1). Cast off loosely in ribbing.

ARMBANDS: See page 13.

You know the drill.

For Make Up and Embroidery, see page 13.

As with the Favourite, page 13 only sends you off to the photo on page 32. Warning: readers with heart conditions should not view this dangerously over-stimulating action shot.

Once you’ve recovered from all the excitement, you’re ready for the Target chart.

Feel free to use colours other than those suggested. After all, if you’re going to give someone the shaft, why go with a boring choice like beige?

(B) Sizes 46, 48, 50 and 52

Already? Gosh, “The Favourite” was much more complicated. Round necks good, V necks bad!

The instructions are written for size 46. Sizes 48, 50 and 52 are written in brackets thus:—( )

FRONT: With No. 11 needles cast on 154 sts. (48—160 sts.) (50—166 sts.) (52—172 sts.).

Work exactly as given for Back of Sleeveless Pullover, see page 13, to 108 sts on needle. (48—110 sts.) (50—112 sts.) (52—114 sts.). Continue even in Stocking st. until armhole from first shaping measures 7 1/2 ins. (48—8 ins.) (50—8 ins.) (52—8 1/2 ins.) ending with purl row.

Still, it would be easier just to print your own target and tape it to the enemy of your choice.

Also, a scan of page 13 is located in section A. I’d include it again here, but I’ve been informed that kind of torture is a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

To shape neck: K40. (48—K41) (50—K42) (52—K43) Turn.

Leaving remaining sts. on spare needle, continue in Stocking st. on these 40 sts. (48—41 sts.) (50—42 sts.) (52—43 sts.) dec. 1. st. at neck edge every alternate row to 33 sts. on needle. (48—34 sts.) (50—34 sts.) (52—35 sts.)

Continue even until armhole from first shaping measures 10 ins. (48—10 1/2 ins.) (50—10 1/2 ins.) (52—11 ins.)

Shape shoulder as given for (B) Sleeveless Pullover with “V” Neck, see above.

Actually, see below.

To shape shoulder: At armhole cast off 11 sts. every alternate row 3 times. (48—Cast off 12 sts. every alternate row once, 11 sts. twice) (50 as 48)
(52—Cast off 12 sts. every alternate row twice, 11 sts. once).

With right side of work facing, join wool to sts. left on st. holder and work other side to correspond.

Leaving next 28 sts. (all sizes) on spare needle, with right side of work facing, join wool to remaining 40 sts. (48—41 sts.) (50—42 sts.) (52—43 sts.) and work other side to correspond.

BACK: See page 13.

Now, you get to look up. Waaay up!

NECKBAND: Work exactly as given for Neckband of (B) Pullover with Sleeves and Round Neck, see page 4. Sew right shoulder seam.

See below.

Sew left shoulder seam. Slip sts. from st. holder at back of neck onto No. 11 needle. With right side of work facing join wool and with No. 11 needles knit these sts. Pick up and knit 34 sts. (48—36 sts.) (50—36 sts.) (52—38 sts.) along left side of neck. Knit across sts. from spare needle at front of neck. Pick up and knit 34 sts. (48—36 sts.) (50—36 sts.) (52—38 sts.) along right side of neck. Work 9 rows ribbing (K1.P1). Cast off loosely in ribbing.

ARMBANDS: See page 13.

Simon says look up! Are you dizzy yet?

For Make Up and Embroidery, see page 13.

Once again, I send you to section A. Not because I’m giving preferential treatment to smaller targets, but because if I post that embroidery picture again, the internet will die of boredom.

As for the target chart, I’d rather include this more daring Japanese option for men’s archery wear.

Click here for the printable pattern.