ON THE COVER
Jumbo Jet Knit raglan pullover and crocheted hat made of Reynolds’ Monique, Plumage and Scotch Mist yarns.
A “Scotch Mist” is a depressingly steady drizzle which accurately describes Monique’s modeling career. Just look at the desperation in her eyes!
“This is my one shot at becoming a real model. Needlecraft magazines lead to Sears catalogue gigs, and then it’s a straight shot to the cover of Vogue magazine. All I have to do is be the best darn flower I can possibly be.”
Oh yes, that crumpled up mess on her head and the crocheted over-sized cuffs are supposed to be “two-toned flowers.” Sadly, Monique’s method acting lessons haven’t done her any good. She’s not convincingly portraying a beautiful bloom so much as she’s doing an excellent impression of a pile of dead leaves.
Unfortunately for Monique, she didn’t change out of this leafy mulch sweater after the photo shoot. At lunch, its blooming sleeves knocked her food and everyone else's off the diner’s counter. Faint from hunger, Monique passed out on the way home, and met the fate that all those 1960s safety pamphlets warned us about!
That reminds me, it’s time for the kids to start raking leaves.
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
So take a lesson from Monique’s sad tale, dear readers, and never become a model for Reynold’s yarn. After all, she’s not the only model who didn’t survive the experience.Directions are for size 8-10. Changes for sizes 12-14 and 16-18 are in parentheses.
Materials: REYNOLDS YARNS: Basic Pullover One Combination (coral and camel): Monique, 5 (6-7) balls color No. 1706; Plumage, 4 (4-5) balls color No. 674; Scotch Mist, 3 (3-4) balls color No. 7264.
Because Camel and Coral go together so naturally. Yes, Camels are denizens of the desert, but that doesn’t stop them from loving snorkeling.A 2nd Combination (blue and camel): Monique, 5 (6-7) balls color No. 1706; Plumage, 4 (4-5) balls color No. 631; Scotch Mist, 3 (3-4) balls color No. 7268.
Although if you’re wondering why your Camel is now combined with Blue, it may be because it drowned while snorkeling in a coral reef. Still, fear of aquatic misadventure is no reason to stop taking your Camels to the beach.
Caution: Camels can attract cads and bounders. However, as long as everyone’s swimsuit stays belted, your reputation as a good girl will be safe.Flower Trim: Same combination as basic pullover, using on Monique, 4 (6-6) balls and Scotch Mist, 3 (5-5) balls. Hat: Same combination as basic pullover (All Sizes), using only Monique, 6 balls and Scotch Mist, 6 balls. Knitting Needles: REYNOLDS Jumbo Jets, 1 pair. Crochet Hooks: REYNOLDS Junior Jet wooden crochet hook; Aluminum hook Size J.
Gauge: 6 sts = 5’’; 3 rows = 2’’ (pullover).
Note: Before starting your sweater with Jumbo Jets, read the following carefully.
1. Use only Reynolds yarns in the color combinations and textures indicated in the instructions. NO SUBSTITUTIONS. These combinations have been carefully designed for fit, color and weight.
Reynolds doesn’t make these particular yarns any more. So feel free to write to the company and demand substitutions! The Reynolds brand is presently owned by JCA Inc., who exhort us to “Keep checking our site for weekly updates!” even though their last update was in December of 2009.2. It is important to make a sample swatch (i.e. casting on at least 10 stitches, working in stockinette st for 6’’) using the combination of yarns for your particular garment. This is to help you get the “feel” of your new Jumbo Jets. This will also serve as a gauge.
That’s right, never use your Jumbo Jet needles twice. After each project, place them in the closest Hazardous Waste Disposal Bin.3. Always cast on stitches snugly and evenly.
Of course, it goes without saying that you should never share Jumbo Jet needles.
As opposed to loosely and erratically. That’s right, Reynolds knows what kind of knitter you are!4. Work the first and last stitch of every row tightly, especially when working 2 tog, as for raglan decreases. This produces a firm edge for finishing.
5. DO NOT deviate from instructions.
Or Reynolds will MESS YOU UP!6. NEVER stop in the middle of a row.
I don’t care if your dog is feasting on the kitchen garbage, your husband is flirting with the next door neighbour, and your children are hiding in leaf piles on the road. NEVER stop in the middle of a row!7. ALWAYS join new yarns at edge of garment (NEVER in the middle of a row – as this causes bulky sewing in of ends).
8. Bind off firmly with medium tension – NEVER bind off tightly.
Do you hear me? NEVER!9. NO STEAMING OR PRESSING ever on Jumbo Jet Instant Fashions!
Reynolds will not be responsible for the mind-bending consequences of illicit STEAMING OR PRESSING.
You’ll need to give away any pets or children before attempting this pattern. Husbands are optional, depending on whether or not they can be trained to stay out of the living room while you’re stretching yards of yarn across the floor.11. Always fold jumbo knits for storage (or any knitted garment) No not Hang or stretching will result.
Reynolds, in despair over the steam-pressing, instruction-ignoring, loose-knitting Jumbo Jet knitters, has resorted to using simpler language. “No, not Hang! Not HANG! You’re stretching it, you imbecile!”
If your knitting is tighter than gauge given for garment you wish to make, MOVE UP one sweater size.
If your knitting is looser than gauge in directions, MOVE DOWN one sweater size.
To sum up – in other knitting you change the size of the needles. With Jumbo Jets you change the size of the sweater.
Knitting with Jumbo Jets is unlike any knitting you may have done before. For example: for a medium size sweater, you cast on 20 stitches for the bottom. For the first 8 or 10 rows, it looks as if the body is only wide enough to be a sleeve. DO NOT CAST ON MORE STITCHES OR CHANGE TO A LARGER SIZE. After knitting 20 rows, you will see that the garment eases out and will fit perfectly, providing your gauge is correct.
Ironically, while the body looks “only wide enough to be a sleeve,” the sleeves are more than large enough to hide several bodies.
Finishing? But we haven’t gotten to the actual pattern yet!Basic Pullover worked with 3 strands held together (Monique, Plumage and Scotch Mist). Flower Trim worked with 2 strands (Monique and Scotch Mist); some worked with 2 strands of Scotch Mist.
Yes, we’ve finally arrived at the actual pattern. Presumably, Reynolds will stop berating us now.Back: With Reynolds Jumbo Jet knitting needles and 1 strand of each yarn, cast on evenly 18 (20-22) sts. K 1 row in back loop of each st. Beg with a p row, work in stockinette st for 17 (18-18)’’ or desired length to underarms.
Important, keep track of rows worked.
This isn’t berating. It’s just very important to keep track of your rows.Raglan Armholes: Bind off 2 sts at beg of next 2 rows. Dec 1 st each end every 3rd row 3 (4-4) times – 8 (8-10) sts. Bind off, working 2 sts tog each end of row.
Front: Work same as back, being sure to make same number of rows to underarm.
Sleeves: With Reynolds Jumbo Jet needles and 1 strand of each yarn, cast on 18 (20-22) sts. Row 1: K in back loop of each st. Rows 2 through 24 (25-26): Beg with a p row, work in stockinette st and dec 1 st each side on rows 11,. 19 and 24 (25-25) – 12 (14-16) sts. Keep track of rows worked.
It’s SO important, we’ll tell you again.Raglan Shaping: Work same as raglan shaping of back – 2 (2-4) sts. Bind off.
Finishing: DO NOT STEAM OR BLOCK PULLOVER.
Or the fumes from the steamed yarn will cause hallucinations that you married Santa Claus.
Hang on, since when is Mrs. Claus forty years younger than her husband? Dear God, did Santa divorce his long-suffering wife only to take up with a teenaged trollop?With split length of Monique and back and front pieces of pullover inside out, weave side seams from “bump to bump” with loose tension. Weave sleeve seams. Weave in sleeves to front and back in same manner. Turn pullover to right side. Weave all seams together again with zigzag stitch, catching edge on either side of seams and drawing together evenly (seams almost disappear). With Size J hook and 1 strand of each yarn, work 1 row sc around neck edge. Weave in all ends separately on wrong side, never in bunches.
Watch out, Missy. You’ll never keep your figure ironing while sitting down and then he’ll toss you over for a new model.
Flower Trim: Solid Color Flower, make 6 (8-8). With Reynolds Junior Ket hook and 2 strands Scotch Mist, ch 5 loosely. Join with sl st to form ring. Rnd 1: Ch 1. 8 sc in ring. Join tightly with sl st in starting ch-1. Rnd 2: Ch 12, sl st in first sc (loop made), ch 12, sl st in same sc, * ch 12, sl st in next sc, ch 12, sl st in same sc; repeat from * around – 16 loops. Join rnd, fasten off. Run in ends separately on wrong side.
As shouting instructions at hapless Jumbo Jet knitters hasn’t worked, Reynold’s now randomly bolding words in a desperate attempt to brainwash you.Two Toned Flower: Make 6 (8-8). Work same as solid color flower, using 1 strand each of Scotch Mist and Monique and making ch 10 loops (instead of ch 12 loops) on rnd 2. Sew 3 (4-4) solid color flowers (sewing around centers with matching yarn) at equal intervals around each sleeve about 2’’ from lower edge. Sew 3 (4-4) two tone flowers between solid flowers on each sleeve.
Flowers, dead leaves, it doesn’t matter what they really look like. The important thing is that you’re almost done. All that’s left now is the matching hat.
What’s that? Of course, you need the hat! Everyone knows a woman cannot be stylish without a heaping pile of dead flowers and leaves on top of her head.
Starting at center back of hat with Reynolds Junior Jet hook and 1 strand Monique, ch 5 loosely. Join tightly with sl st to form ring. Rnd 1: Ch 1. 11 sc in ring. Join tightly with sl st in starting ch-1. Row 2: * Ch 5, sl st in next sc, repeat from * 6 times (leaving last 4 sc free for lower back edge) – 7 loops. Turn. Rows 3-6: * Ch 5, sl st in next loop, repeat from * across – 7 loops. Turn. Fasten off yarn at end of row 6. Put a marker on work each end of row 6 (Edges of these rows are lower edge of hat). Turn. Row 7: Join Monique in 2nd loop of last row, * ch 6, sl st in next loop, repeat from * 4 times – 5 loops. Turn. Row 8: Ch 1. Sl st in first 3 ch of first loop, * ch 6, sl st in next loop, repeat from * 3 times – 4 loops. Turn. Row 9: Repeat row 8, making 3 loops in all. End off.
Ties: With Reynolds Junior Jet hook and 1 strand each of Scotch Mist and Monique, make a 16’’ chain. Do not end off. Join this chain with sc at one marker on hat. Work sc evenly along lower edge of hat to next marker (row should measure about 12’’); make a 16’’ chain at end of row for other tie. Fasten off. Beg and ending where ties were joined, with jet hook and 1 strand each of Scotch Mist and Monique, work 1 row sc across front edge to measure about 15’’ or for desired fit around face edge.
The random bolding here is to make you sit up and pay attention. Reynolds doesn’t want you getting too comfortable. Otherwise you might relax and start knitting loosely.Flower Trim: Make 12 solid color flowers and 10 two toned flowers. Sew 1 solid color flower at joining of each tie; one at center back edge over ring; one at center top front edge and one ½ way up each side of front. Sew one two toned flower between each solid color flower. Fill in hat with balance of flowers, tacking each flower to sc of loop sts.
Because we all know what happens to loose-knitting women!
These women definitely shared their Jumbo Jet needles.
Click here for the printable pattern.