Your Tea Cosies are Loopy

Knitted Looped Tea Cosies from Bazaar Novelties and gifts by Beehive, c. 1960.

January is National Hot Tea Month!

I suspect that the nation officially celebrating hot tea is the United States, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of us can’t enjoy a hot cuppa as well. After all, the Chinese invented tea, Dutch traders brought it to Europe, and the British believe they’re the only ones who know how to properly serve it. Sure, American tea parties are getting all the news coverage, but I doubt they actually drink even a single cup of desiccated plant leaves in boiling water!

To ensure that your tea remains hot stuff, here’s a pattern which will enable you to drape your pots in dead tribbles -- I mean, loopy yarn loops.

Tea-drinking knitters with dust allergies should proceed with extreme caution.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Knitted Looped Tea Cosies

MATERIALS:
You will find a colourful tea cosy like this so easy to knit when you are sure to use Canadiana Superwash Wool or Canadiana Sayelle. You will need:– 1 (50g) ball for the two cup size or 2 balls for the four or six cup size. Two No. 9 (3 3/4 mm), (U.S. 5) knitting needles.

And if you don’t use Canadiana Superwash Wool or Canadiana Sayelle, you will find this colourful tea cosy dreadfully difficult to knit. Mainly because Patons will send pixies to tie all of your yarn into knots.

You must use the exact yarn specified in order to be sure of satisfactory results.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

The instructions are written for the Two Cup Size. Any changes necessary for the Four Cup Size (4) and the Six Cup Size (6) are written in brackets thus:–( ).

See that little screaming face at the end of the above sentence? That’s what you’re going to look like if you try to use any yarn other than Canadiana Superwash Wool or Canadiana Sayelle.

Cast on 31 sts. (4 - 39 sts) (6 - 47 sts)

1st row: K3. Purl to last 3 sts. K3.
2nd row: Knit.
3rd row: As 1st. row.
4th row: K3. *Insert point of right hand needle into next st. Place forefinger of left hand under point of right hand needle and wind wool loosely away from you, over top, twice around needle and finger and once around needle only. Draw these 3 loops on right hand needle through st. on left hand needle, dropping this st. from left hand needle in usual way. Remove finger.

No, don’t remove any of your fingers! You’ll need all of them if you’re going to drink tea properly, especially Mr. Pinkie.

Pass the 3 loops from right hand needle to left hand needle and knit them tog. to make 1.st. Tighten loops at back of work. Be sure to wind wool loosely enough so that finished loops will be at least 1 inch in length. K1.* Repeat from * to * to last 2 sts. K2.

Repeat these 4 rows for approx. 4 ins. ( 4–5 ins.) ( 6–6 ins.) in all, ending with 1st. pattern row.

Upon further investigation, I’ve discovered that Canadiana Superwash Wool and Canadiana Sayelle are no longer in production, but don’t despair! Patons still produces a Canadiana yarn, in a wide variety of fun colours. You can make your cosy using “Really Green”, “Super Purple”, “School Bus Yellow” or all of them together in “Crazy Shades”, without risking a passel of Patons patented pixies putting your project in peril.

Probably.

And don’t let the name Canadiana fool you. Unlike Red Rose Tea, it’s available outside Canada.

Next row: K5. *K2tog. K2. Repeat from * to last 2 sts. K2. Work 7 rows even in pattern.
Next row: K4. *K2tog. K1. Repeat from * to last 3 sts. K3. Work 7 rows even in pattern.
Next row: K3. *K2tog. Repeat from * to last 4 sts. K4. Break wool. Thread end through remaining sts. Draw up and fasten securely.

Make another piece to correspond. Sew side and top seams, leaving openings for handle and spout. Make and sew a pompon to top as given for Large Size Pompons on page 20.

Just so we don’t accidentally derail our peace negotiations with the Patons Pixies, here’s how to correctly make a Large Size Pompon.

LARGE POMPONS: Wind yarn over 4 fingers 75 times. Remove from fingers. Tie tightly in centre. Cut through each side of loops thus formed. Trim to smooth round shape. Sew in position.

As Mr. Snaffleburger says, “Conform, consume, obey!”

And look! It’s a mini Mr. Snaffleburger! I bet he’d make an adorable large pompom. As long as the Patons pixies don’t find out.

Click here for the printable pattern.

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Merry Christmas, Again!

Knitted Crèche from McCall’s Design Ideas, Christmas Knit & Crochet, 1981

Guess what? Today is Twelfth Night AKA the Feast of the Ephiphany AKA the first day of Mardi Gras. And who doesn’t love a good party?

But if none of these celebrations are to your taste, today is also the day on which Armenians celebrate Jesus’s birth, except for those Armenians living in the Holy Land where it’s celebrated on the 18th. However be aware that, according to this article, the Armenian Theophany must never, ever be confused with Three Kings Day, even though Wikipedia says they’re, like, totally the same thing.

Darn you, Wikipedia! How dare you lead me astray!

Yes, today you can celebrate Jesus’s birth, the arrival of the Three Kings, or even his baptism as an adult. Or if you’re feeling really energetic, all three. And if that’s not enough, just guess what special day tomorrow is!

It’s Coptic Christmas in Egypt!

So in honor of all Christmases being celebrated today, tomorrow, and on any other days I may have missed, I give you this crèche.

Mary and Joseph are smiling bravely, but considering that this is the second time in less than a month that they’ve experienced the Holy Birth – and it’s going to happen all over again tomorrow! – it’s no surprise they’re also looking a little shell-shocked.

For the complete pattern (and more snark):

CRECHE

SIZE: 11’’ – 12’’ tall.

Surprise! These dolls are each almost a foot tall. Your visitors won’t be able to miss them when they drop by to celebrate your January 6th holiday of choice. Just be careful not to block any fire exits with your nativity scene.

MATERIALS: Knitting worsted weight yarn, 1 oz. each of white, brown, tan, dark blue, light blue, old gold; smaller amounts of yellow, pink, gray. Knitting needles No. 4. Crochet hook size G. Polyester stuffing. White felt, 9’’ x 12’’. Scraps of black and blue felt. Glue. Three gold tinsel sticks. Stick for Joseph’s staff.

And hamsters for sheep.

No, honest, hamsters love being used in Nativity scenes! And that hamster that jumped out the window when I was a kid? That totally had nothing to do with baby Jesus going for rides on his back.

GAUGE: 5 sts = 1’’; 7 rows = 1’’.

LARGE FIGURES: FRONT: Beg at top of head, with pink, cast on 7 sts. Work evne in stockinette st (k 1 row, p 1 row) for 2 rows.
Row 3: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 4 - 10: Work even.
Row 11: Dec 1 st each side.
Rows 12 - 14: Work even.
Row 15: Dec 1 st at center.
Row 16: Work even.
Row 17: Change to robe color (white for angel, light blue for Mary, tan for Joseph). Knit across, cast on 3 sts.
Row 18: P across, cast on 3 sts.
Rows 19 - 25: Work even on 12 sts.
Row 26: Inc 1 each side.
Rows 27 - 31: Work even on 14 sts.
Row 32: Inc 1 each side.
Rows 33 - 43: Work even on 16 sts.
Row 44: Inc 1 each side.
Rows 45 - 49: Work even on 18 sts.
Row 50: Inc 1 each side.
Rows 51 - 58: Work even on 20 sts.
Row 59: Inc 1 each side.
Rows 60 - 67: Work even on 22 sts. Bind off.

BACK: Work as for front, changing to dark blue for Mary, brown for Joseph on row 17. Steam-press pieces lightly. Sew back to front, right sides out, leaving bottom open. Cut oval of white felt same size as bottom opening. Stuff figure, sew felt to bottom edge.

The fact that Mary, Joseph and the Angel all share the same basic body raises certain sticky theological issues. However, the anatomical correctness of a Holy Family should probably be left up to the conscience of the individual knitter.

MARY’S HOOD: With dark blue, cast on 15 sts. Work even in stockinette st for 44 rows. Bind off. Fold in half with cast-on and bound-off edges tog. Sew back seam, rounding off seam near fold to make hood round at top.

MARY’S ROBE (make 2 pieces for front): With dark blue, cast on 5 sts. Work even in stockinette st for 7 rows.
Row 8: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 9 -18: Work even on 9 sts.
Row 19: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 20 - 31: Work even on 11 sts.
Row 32: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 33 - 43: Work even on 13 sts.
Row 44: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 45 - 55: Work even on 15 sts.
Row 56: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 57 - 60: Work even on 17 sts. Bind off. Steam press. Sew a piece to each side seam, leaving free at top, bottom and front edges. Sew hood to top of robe, gathering hood at back.

By the way, January 6 is also Befana Day in Italy.

I don’t care if she comes bearing gifts, I’d really rather La Befana doesn’t come flying through my window in the middle of the night. Let alone a whole horde of her!

SLEEVES: Cast on 16 sts (white for angel, dark blue for Mary, brown for Joseph). Work even in stockinette st for 10 rows.
Row 11: Dec 2 sts evenly across.
Rows 12 - 16: Work even on 14 sts.
Row 17: Repeat row 11.
Rows 18 - 22: Work even on 12 sts.
Row 23: Repeat row 11.
Rows 24 and 25: Work even on 10 sts. Bind off. Sew side seam; sew flat across top. Sew top to shoulder.

HANDS: With pink, cast on 6 sts. Work even for 10 rows.
Next Row: (K 2 tog) 3 times. Remove sts from needle, run yarn through sts, pull up and fasten. Sew side seam; tuck ends of yarn inside. Stuff sleeves at top, position hands and glue hands inside sleeves. Mary’s hands are glued tog in prayer. Joseph’s hands are glued to stick, Angel has one arm raised a bit.

Evidently Mary, realizing that God is lying in a cradle right in front of her, has chosen to point her praying hands down towards him. Joseph, on the other hand, is trying to start a fire with his wood... wooden staff!

Sheesh. Even when I'm trying not to be controversial, the theology just gets stickier... Oh, I give up. I'm so going to Hell.

ANGEL’S WINGS: With old gold, cast on 10 sts. Work in garter st (k each row) for 3 rows.
Row 4: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 5 and 6: Work even on 12 sts.
Row 7: Bind off 4 sts, k across.
Rows 8 and 9: Work even on 8 sts.
Row 10: K across, cast on 6 sts.
Row 11: K across 14 sts.
Rows 12 - 16: Work even.
Row 17: Bind off 4 sts, k across.
Rows 18 and 19: Work even on 10 sts.
Row 20: K across, cast on 8 sts.
Row 21: K across 18 sts.
Rows 22 - 26: Work even. Bind off. Make another piece the same. Work 1 row sc around edge. Sew to angel’s back.

MANGER: With brown, cast on 16 sts. Work in garter st for 10 rows. Bind off. This is bottom piece. For short sides, cast on 16 sts. Work even for 10 rows. Bind off. For long sides, cast on 24 sts. Work even for 10 rows. Bind off. Sew 4 sides around bottom piece, join 4 sides at corner. Fill manger with pieces of yellow or gold yarn.

BABY: Back: With pink, cast on 4 sts. Work in stockinette st for 2 rows.
Row 3: Inc 1 st in row.
Rows 4 - 7: Work even on 5 sts.
Row 8: Dec 1 st in row. Cut pink.
Row 9: With white, cast on 6 sts, k across, cast on 6 sts.
Row 10: P across – 16 sts.
Rows 11 - 14: Work even.
Rows 15 and 16: Bind off 5 sts at beg of each row.
Rows 17 and 18: Work even on 6 sts.
Row 19: Inc 1 st each side.
Rows 20 - 28: Work even on 8 sts. Bind off.
Front: Work as for back through row 8.
Row 9: With white, cast on 2 sts, k across neck sts, cast on 2 sts. Work even on 8 sts until piece is same length as back. Bind off. Fold arms, sew edges tog for 4 sts from outer edge. Sew back and front tog, stuffing as you go. Sew over ends of arms with pink for hands.
Embroider hair with straight sts and a few French knots at front. See Contents for Stitch Details.

You could possibly figure out how to do a French Knot from this illustration, but the Kitchener Stitch diagram is beyond insane. Future archeologists will study this page, convinced we could bend space and time with nothing more than an embroidery needle.

FINISHING: Cut black felt circles for eyes, tiny blue circles for Baby’s eyes. Glue in place. Embroider mouths with red. For hair, place strands down back of head from top of head . Sew down at top of head. Place strands over these from side to side. Sew down center. Trim to desired length. Loop some front strands of angel’s hair into curls; tack in place. Loop some strands of yarn for Joseph’s beard; sew loops across chin.
Make halos from tinsel sticks. Sew to back of head. Make ties for Mary’s cape from strands of dark blue yarn. Run light blue yarn around angel’s neck; tie into bow at front. If desired, trim front edges of Mary’s cape with lace edging. Sew flower sequins to front of Mary’s robe. Sew gold leaves to bottom of Joseph’s robe. Sew gold flower sequins to front of Angel’s robe and wings. Sew gold rickrack around manger and tiny star sequins to front of Baby’s robe.

Gold rickrack and shiny gold star sequins? Wow, this Baby Jesus is quite the Diva. I guess we all know who he’ll grow up to be.

Click here for the printable pattern.


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Fur is murder... on your budget!

Crocheted “Ermine” Boa from Teen Fashion: Sweaters & Accessories, 1966

Ah, the 1960s. An innocent time when the only objection to wearing fur was that it would cost an arm and a leg. Sex Kitten Brigitte Bardot didn’t hug a baby seal until 1977, and PETA, the inventors of the naked tango, didn’t appear on the scene until 1980. So, with a clear conscience, a teenage girl could demand a fashionable fur scarf, and woe betide a Mother whose budget was smaller than her daughter’s fur fetish!

Thank goodness for this crocheted “Ermine” boa guaranteed to “flatter” your “loopy” teen. For proof, look no further than young Kathy’s smile of pure happiness. And why shouldn’t she smile? It’s not like her social-climbing friends will tease her unmercifully for wearing low rent fun fur. Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s not the sly smile of a teenybopper who’s planning on stealing real furs when she grows up, eluding capture due to her secret identity as Katarina the Kat Burglar.

Uh oh.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Crocheted “Ermine” Boa B-552

Coats & Clark’s “Red Heart” Knitting Worsted, 4 ply (“Tangle-Proof” Pull-Out Skeins): 4 ounces of No. 1 White and 1/3 ounce of No. 12 Black.

I suspect the “Tangleproof” is as genuine as the “Ermine”.

Crochet Hook Size K.

A piece of white felt for lining.

You’ll also need a matchbook, but it was assumed you’d have one handy. After all, cheap disposable lighters weren’t invented until 1973. And Coats & Clark knew if you were making fake fur boas, there’s no way you could afford to send a Zippo to college.

GAUGE: 3 sc = 1 inch.

Starting at center, ch 70.

1st rnd: Sl st in 2nd ch from hook and in next 4 ch, ch 8, skip next 8 ch, sc in next ch and each of the next 54 ch, 3 sc in next ch—3-sc group made;

Finally, a pattern editor that recognizes the importance of bolding semi-colons!

working along opposite side of starting chain, sc in next 55 ch, sc in each of next 8 ch, sc in back loop of next 4 sl sts,

And bolding and compressing text in order to simultaneously emphasize and de-emphasize a word. To think people waste money on mind-altering substances when you can get the same mental confusion from this pattern for free!

3 sc in back loop of next sl st—another 3-sc group; working along opposite side of sl sts, sc in free loop of next 4 sl sts, sc in next 8 ch. Join with sl st to first sc.

NOTE: The wrong side of work is the right side of Boa.

I’m pretty sure Captain Kirk used the above note to convince several alien computers to self-destruct.

2nd rnd—First Half of Rnd:

Sc in the back loop of first sc used for joining, draw loop on hook up to measure 1 inch, yarn over and draw through loop on hook, insert hook between the 1-inch loop and the single strand behind it and draw a loop through (2 loops on hook); yarn over and draw through all loops on hook — knot st made;* picking up back loop only of each sc, sc in next sc, make a knot st. Repeat from * around.

Second Half of Rnd: (Working in the free loop only of each sc of the rnd just used, sc in each sc across to within next 3-sc group, 3 sc in next sc—2 sc increased; 2 sc in next sc—1 sc increased; 3 sc in next sc—5 sc increased at end of rnd) twice; sc as before in each remaining sc. Join to first sc.

Next 3 rnds: Work as for 2nd rnd, increasing 5 sc evenly spaced across each end of Boa on Second Half of rnd. Break off and fasten.

Press lightly on wrong side through damp cloth. Line with felt.

TASSEL (Make 8). . . Leaving a 3-inch end at top, wind White around a matchbook 6 times (as illustrated),

For the truly authentic touch, you should use a matchbook from the 1960s.

Hey, this boa is for your impressionable teenage daughter! Quickly tell her a Playboy bunny is a pet rabbit owned by a bachelor, and try to find a matchbook that won’t shock her delicate sensibilities.

That’s better.

then cut other end, leaving 3 inches to tie. Tie double knot around all strands at top. Cut an 18-inch length of Black and thread into blunt-tipped needle. Insert needle at bottom of loops, leaving a 1/2-inch length of yarn. Work 4 buttonhole stitches close together around all strands, working toward top.

Here’s a handy how-to on doing the buttonhole stitch, which I’d always assumed was only for making buttonholes. Can’t imagine how I got such a silly idea.

Now work 4 buttonhole stitches around all strands from bottom to top on other side of loops. Slip tassel off matchbook and work buttonhole stitch over all strands of White up to about the halfway point. Fasten end of Black securely. With a fairly stiff brush, brush Black (gently) toward bottom. Brush White toward bottom. Sew tassel to Boa as shown.

And remember fun fur is all fun and games, until someone humiliates a cat.

Click here for the printable pattern.


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A Handmade by Mother Resolution for 2010

And people call ME a perfectionist!

Sorry, Bishop, I’m not going to renew all my old resolutions that I've never kept, and add a couple more to ensure a breathtakingly spectacular nervous breakdown. Instead, I resolve to post three new vintage patterns a week on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Except for Halloween and Christmas, of course, and maybe a few extra around Easter and St. Jean de Baptiste and the occasional hi-larious ad...

Uh oh, I'm getting myself in over my head again, aren't I?

The point is if you'll absolutely die without your Handmade by Mother fix on the other days of the week, you'll just have to recreate one of the 98 ludicrous patterns I’ve already posted – and there’s more to come! That's right, Handmade by Mother helps those who help themselves ... to tacky, retro patterns. Send me the photos (victoriadunnwrites@hotmail.com), and I can whip up a laudatory DIY in no time flat.

So, go forth and proselytize! Tell your friends to start knitting kitsch, tell your family to crochet up a retro storm, tell complete strangers, chase people down at bus stops! And when you get out of jail, don’t forget to make a DIY yourself!

Handmade by Mother is in no way liable for lawyer’s fees, bail money, gas money for when you try to jump bail, and prescription ointments for your Taser burns.

But take heart, at least with three times a week, I’ll be updating my blog more often than this guy did!


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Happy New Year!

Pretty Maiden Brim Bonnet from Bangle Hats, 1962

This pretty girl may be a maiden, but this hat is certainly not a Brim Bonnet!

This is a Brim Bonnet, AKA a bonnet with a brim. You could also call it a Prim Bonnet, as it’s suitable for romantic-yet-chaperoned liaisons and church socials.

What our pretty hat model has perched on her head is not a Brim Bonnet, it’s a Bangle Bedecked Top Hat. It’s not prim, either, as Top Hats are suitable for dancing, debauchery, and drinking buckets of champagne.

That’s right, Mothers lock up your daughters! This Dapper Dancer is not taking your Bangled Baby on a chaperoned date!

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Lois Ann Endres was only a baby, but Miss 1935 still knew how to get properly decked out to celebrate the arrival of a brand new year.

True, Little Lois didn’t crochet her own top hat. But I think we can cut her some slack, considering her tender years.

Plus she also appears to have been safety pinned to the back of that chair.

PRETTY MAIDEN BRIM BONNET

AKA “Pretty Party Girl Top Hat”

MATERIALS REQUIRED:
Knitting Worsted: 4 oz.
100 WALCO Bangles
Crochet Hook, Size G (5)
Elastic (round)
Wire

As noted previously, WALCO Bangles no longer exist. You will just have to make your own out of used plastic bottle caps and tin foil.

With luck, you’ll have all 100 completed in time for your Green New Year’s Celebration in 2011.

GAUGE: 7 sc = 2’’

Round 1: Ch 3, join with a sl st to form a ring, ch 1, work 6 sc into ring. Mark ends of rounds but do not join.
Round 2: Work 2 sc in each sc around – 12 sc.
Round 3: *Work 2 sc in next sc, 1 sc in next sc: repeat from * – 18 sc.
Round 4: Work 2 hdc in each st around ( to make a hdc – yarn over hook, draw up a loop in st, yarn over hook and draw thru all loops on hook) – 36 sc.
Round 5: Work 1 sc in each st around.

Just don’t reuse previous Baby New Years at your party.

Round 6: *Work 2 hdc in next st, 1 hdc in each of next 2 sts: repeat from * – 48 sts.
Round 7: Work 1 sc in each st around.
Round 8: *Work 2 hdc in next st, 1 hdc in each of next 3 sts: repeat from * – 60 sts.
Round 9: Work 1 sc in each st around.
Round 10: *Work 2 hdc in next st, 1 hdc in each of next 4 sts: repeat from * – 72 sts.
Make a circle to wire and working over wire PICKING UP BACK LOOP OF ST, work 1 sc in each st around. This round remains on inside of hat.
Round 11: WORKING IN FRONT LOOP OF ST of same round, work 1 sc in each st around. FROM NOW ON WORK THRU BOTH LOOPS OF ST.

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME?

Too much pressure! I need a break.

Er... I’m not sure if that’s adorable or disturbing. Hopefully it’s not an omen for the next decade, as we’ve all had more than enough “presents” from big financial companies.

Round 12: Work 1 hdc in each st around.
Round 13: BANGLE ROUND: Pick up a BANGLE, insert hook in BANGLE and next st at same time, *work 1 sc thru BANGLE, work 1 sc in each of next 2 sts without bangle : repeat from * around – 24 sc with bangles, 48 sc without. Repeat last 2 rounds – 7 more times – 8 Bangle rounds. Make a circle of Elastic to fit headsize and working over elastic, work 1 sc in each st around, a sl st in first sc.

Hang on, we’ve got BANGLES, Bangles and bangles! I could get annoyed at all this randomness, but it’s kind of fun to read aloud using a BIG voice for the ALL-CAPS WORDS, a Medium voice for the Capitalized Words, and a small voice for lowercase words.

I bet this would make a fun party game after a glass (or three) of champagne.

BRIM:
Round 1: Work (2 sc in next st, 1 sc in each of next 2 sts) 10 times, ch 6, work (2 sc in next st, 1 sc in each of next 2 sts) 4 times, ch 6, work (2 sc in next st, 1 sc in each of next 2 sts) to end of round.
Round 2: *Work 1 hdc in each st to ch 6 loop, work 1 hdc in each of 6 ch sts: repeat from * once, work 1 hdc in each st to end of round.
Round 3: BANGLE ROUND: *Work 1 Bangle sc, work 1 sc in each of next 2 sc without bangle: repeat from * around.
Round 4: Work 1 hdc in each st around.
Repeat Rounds 3 and 4 once, repeat Round 3 once.
LAST ROUND: Ch 3, TURN. Picking up FRONT loop of st only, work 1 dc in each st around, join with sl st in top of ch 3, break off. Sew this round to left side of brim. Sew chain 6 opening closed, and sew to first round of brim forming pleat. Sew other chain 6 opening the same way.

And if your finished Top Hat doesn’t fit, you can always give it to another member of the family.

Happy Handmade New Year, and Happy Mother of a New Decade!

Click here for the printable pattern.


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Sequins Are Not Sensible Winter Wear!

Sequin Earmuffs from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts Annual, 1952

“Sequin Earmuffs. This teen-ager keeps cozy, looks glamorous on the co-old drive to the high school formal. Earmuffs are pretty, made in two pastel colors, matching sequins, or in black with silver sequins.”

This silly young lady would rather risk freezing to death than wear a hat and muss up her glamorous hair-do on the “co-old” drive to the dance. No doubt she foolishly believes that her sequined earmuffs will spare her young Charlotte’s sad fate.

But kicky earmuffs don’t do anything other than keep your ears warm while your body heat escapes out the top of your head. And the kicker is that you won’t even feel your head getting cold. Instead your hands and feet will feel chilly, while your body desperately tries to keep your vital organs alive and kicking. Then once the hypothermia kicks in, you’ll be kicking the frozen bucket in not time.

Now are you going to wear a nice, sensible winter hat?

No?

Sigh... well, don’t say Mother didn’t try to warn you!

For the complete pattern (because obviously you’re determined to go without a hat, and break your Mother’s heart):

It’s important to be firm with your sequins. If you are too permissive with them, they’ll run wild.

And the next thing you know, instead of lying flat like a good sequin, they’ll be smoking and hanging out on street corners.

So take a firm hand with your sequins, or before you know it, you’ll be starring in the next episode of “When Good Sequins Go Bad”.

Not even your perfectly lacquered red nails will save your reputation then.

SEQUIN EARMUFFS

MATERIALS: Knit-Cro-Sheen, 1 ball each aqua blue (color 178) and pink (color 46A). 1 ready-made set earmuffs.

What? You mean we’re not actually making our earmuffs from scratch?

I feel cheated!

Steel crochet hook No. 9. Flat metallic sequins, 165 to0 175 (1 1/2’’ strung) of aqua blue, 90 to 100 (1’’ strung) of pink.

String sequins on corresponding colors of thread. See General Directions for Sequin Crochet (page 52) for threading and measuring sequins.

I’ll include this part, even though we’re not really making Sequin Earmuffs. We’re just making Sequin Earmuff Cozies which isn’t nearly as exciting.

To Thread Sequins: Always thread sequins on a large sewing needle with the right side going on first. This is very important as there is a right and wrong side to sequins. Using the ball of crochet thread (suggested in the directions) thread end of cotton in a needle, the proper size to accommodate both sequins and cotton. Have the sewing needle 12 or 15 inches from end of cotton and do not push the sequins past the double thread until they are measured. A shallow box may be used as a tray for picking up and threading the sequins. A piece of white cloth draped loosely at the bottom of the box and held in place with the lid placed underneath bottom of box, will be helpful.

To Measure Sequins: Almost all flat sequins, when pushed close together, measure approximately 120 sequins to the inch. Measuring sequins this way eliminates counting them.

EARMUFF (Make 2)

Please note, this pattern is not intended for One Eared Artists.

Or Three Eared Rabbits.

With blue, ch 11.
Rnd 1: Picking up 1 lp of ch, 1 s c in 3rd ch and in each ch across, having 10 sts counting turning-ch, inc 1 s c in last ch, 2 s c in opposite side of same ch, 1 s c in 1 lp of each ch on other side of starting ch, 2 incs at end, join to turning ch-3 with sl st.
Rnd 2: Ch 3, * 1 sequin d c in next st (throw thread and sequin over hook, insert in work, take loops off hook 2 at a time behind sequin),

Whew! This is exciting stuff, after all. Watch you don’t throw your thread and sequin around too enthusiastically.

It’s all fun and crafts, until someone loses an eye.

1 d c in each of next 2 sts, repeat from * around, with incs at ends to keep work flat, join at top of ch-3 with sl st.
Rnd 3: Ch 1, s c around, increasing to keep work flat, join with sl st, break thread.
Rnd 4: Attach pink at opposite end, work same as rnd 2.
Rnd 5: Like rnd 3, but do not break thread.
Rnd 6 and 7: Like rnds 2 and 3, break thread.
Rnd 8: Attach blue, like rnd 2.
Rnd 9: S c around with no incs, join.
Rnd 10: Ch 3, picking up back lp only, 1 d c in each st around, join.
Rnd 11: Ch 1, picking up back lp only, s c around with 1 dec every 6th st, join, break thread about 1/2 yd. from work. Trim away long nap on ready-made earmuffs to make smooth and rounded.

This is not the kind of nap which you enjoy during long winter afternoons. This “nap” refers to the fuzz on any kind of fuzzy material.

In other words, if your muffs look like this, you’ll have to cut off all the fur until there’s nothing left but bare muff.

So, if you do happen to own a pair of $140 Coyote Fur Earmuffs, lined with goatskin leather, you may want to think twice about covering them with sequins.

Thread sewing needle with 1/2 yd. of thread, place crocheted pieces over earmuffs, draw thread through every other st of last row and pull thread tight. Secure thread.

HEADPIECE: With blue, ch 11.
Row 1: S c in 3rd ch and in each ch across, making 10 sts counting turning-ch, ch 3, turn.
Row 2: 1 d c in each of next 4 sts, 1 sequin d c in next st, 1 d c in next st, 1 sequin d c in next st, 1 d c in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, turn.
Row 3: S c across, ch 3, turn.
Rows 4 and 5: Like rows 2 and 3. Continue this pat for length of headpiece, which has been adjusted to desired length. End with a s c row, break thread, leave end for sewing. Sew edges of piece tog along one side of headpiece, having sequins on top side of headpiece.

Now you’re ready to join Frozen Charlotte’s skating party!

But don’t despair! Canadian poet Robert Service has a sure-fired cure to get you all warm and toasty again.

Click here for the printable pattern.

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DIY - Hind's Mystery Doilies

Hind of Alexandria, Egypt is a regular contributor of DIYs, consistently amazing me with her remarkable recreations from poodle soap cozies, to TV scarves. And who can forget the time she turned a cheesy cactus cozy into a chic cushion cover?

And now she’s done it again! Twice!

Can you identify the single pattern that inspired both these elegant doilies?

Hint: These are dangerous things in the hands of peeved Parisian students.

Click here to find out:

Cobblestones!

But, you say, Hind’s beautiful doilies look so different! How can they both have been inspired by the same dismal, lumpy pattern?

I’ll let Hind explain:

This project is a reproduction of the cobblestone placemat from September 20, done twice. The bigger one is done in crochet following the written instructions (with some modifications) ,the other one is mostly knitted after having a better look at the photo close up (also with some modifications).

Interestingly, while Hind’s crocheted doily is more faithful to the original pattern, it’s her mostly knitted doily that comes closest to recreating the appearance of the cobblestone placemat.

Here’s the original. Note that despite having been ironed and starched to within an inch of its life, the motif still doesn’t lie completely flat. In fact, if you look closely, you can see the edges tenaciously trying to curl up even as the photo was taken. No doubt the bumpiness of this placemat was the inspiration for the pattern’s name.

Above, you can see Hind’s crocheted version, which not only lies flat, but is also ten times prettier!

Hind was kind enough to share her modified pattern:

Crocheted Cobblestone Doily

Rd 1 - Over a ring of 10 ch make 18 sc, join with a sl st.
Rd 2 - 1 ch and 1 sc over sl st, 6 ch, skip 2 sc, sc in next sc. Repeat 5 times. End with sl st in the first sc.
Rd 3 - 1 sl st into ch space, 1 more sl st, 6 ch, 5 dtr separated by 1 ch, 1 ch, 6 dtr separated by 1 ch (36 dtr + 36 ch = 72 stitches.) Join with sl st.
Rd 4 - Sl st into ch 1 space, ch 1, 2 sc into each ch 1 space. (72 sc st) Join with sl st.
Rd 5 – Ch 1. Make a Rd of 72 sc, with a 4 ch picot on every third sc. (24 picots)

Note - Picots are done in many ways. I used here the most simple version done over a previous round (Facing the right side of work), which is: 1 ch, 1 sc, 4 ch, look at the base of these 4 ch, the sc st has two front loops, the right one is horizontal while the left one is vertical, insert hook into both these loops, yo and pull a loop, yo make a sc (picot done), 3 sc, 4 ch repeat.

After last picot make 2 sc over the last sc of the previous rd, sl st in first st of rd 5, cut thread and weave end in. (When looking at the photo, you’ll notice that over each group of 6 dtr there 4 picots. I used the two middle picots for joining, leaving the first and the last ones as just an embellishment).

Hind recommends this great tutorial for learning how to make a picot stitch. Renovia’s photos make this one of the clearest explanations of a picot I’ve ever seen.

Join the motifs while working the fifth rd of the second motif, using the picots for joining as following: Upon reaching the second picot of any group, make only 2 ch, sl st into corresponding picot of the first complete motif. (It will be the third picot in the group of 4 picots, because both motifs’ backs are facing each other) 2 ch, make new picot, 3 sc, and other joining picot. Continue the motif.

Hind also generously shared her pattern for the doily that uses both knit and crochet stitches. I love the teeny tiny stockinette stitches!

Mostly Knitted Doily

Cast on 48 stitches.
1st row - Knit.
2nd row - Knit 2 stitches together, yarn over, knit 2 tog, yo, until the end of row, then add 1 stitch to keep the number of stitches even (48).
3rd row - Knit.
4th row - Purl.
5th row - Knit.
6th row - Purl.
7th row - (Hold knitting in left hand and crochet hook in right hand) Pick 3 knitted stitches onto the hook, one by one, pull hook through all 3 stitches, 3 ch, yo, pick next 3 knitted stitches, pull hook through them, make 1 dc, yo, repeat till the end of row. (There will be 16 dc including the starting 3 ch, and 15 spaces between them).
8th row - ' Turn work.' 15 sc in the 15 spaces, 1ch, 1 sc into the first sc to form a ring with 16 spaces.

Join the two sides as following: 2 sl st into dc, now hold both sides together, with wrong side facing you, join with slip stitches until you reach the 2nd knitted row, 2 sl st into the knitted st to keep the 'hole' intact, 2 ch, join the rest of the motif with a slip st.

Border of the motif: Turn motif to the right side, 2 sc in the 2 ch space, 1 sc between each two knitted stitches, 2 sc into each 'hole'. (The result will be 72 st).

Join the motifs while working this border as follows: 8 sc, pull the loop on hook a bit longer, take the hook out of the loop, insert hook in a back loop of the first motif. (You are holding the second 'unfinished' motif with your left hand and the first 'finished' motif with your right hand.) Pick up the long loop of the unfinished motif and pull it through the back loop already on hook, insert hook into the back loop of the first motif and make a sl st.

Join 3 more stitches in the same manner. This will make an almost invisible joining. After joining 4 stitches, work the rest of the round in sc like the first motif.

When joining the next motifs, remember that there is always a space of 8 sc between the 4 st joints.

The whole doily has a 2nd border, done like this:

Rd 1 - Make a sc and a ch st in every second sc of the previous rd. Between motifs make 3 ch, 1 sc in the third sc of next motif, repeat.
Rd 2 - (in crab st) From left to right, 1 crab st in 1 ch space of previous rd, 2 ch,1 crab st, 2 ch, repeat. In the 3 ch space between motifs make 1 crab st.

A video tutorial for crab stitch can be found near the end of this post.

And ta-da! You now have a knitted doily that’s guaranteed to have your friends and family saying, “How on earth did she do that?”

I recommend smiling and coyly claiming that you have access to secrets from the Mysterious East.


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