And people call ME a perfectionist!
Sorry, Bishop, I’m not going to renew all my old resolutions that I've never kept, and add a couple more to ensure a breathtakingly spectacular nervous breakdown. Instead, I resolve to post three new vintage patterns a week on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Except for Halloween and Christmas, of course, and maybe a few extra around Easter and St. Jean de Baptiste and the occasional hi-larious ad...
Uh oh, I'm getting myself in over my head again, aren't I?
The point is if you'll absolutely die without your Handmade by Mother fix on the other days of the week, you'll just have to recreate one of the 98 ludicrous patterns I’ve already posted – and there’s more to come! That's right, Handmade by Mother helps those who help themselves ... to tacky, retro patterns. Send me the photos (victoriadunnwrites@hotmail.com), and I can whip up a laudatory DIY in no time flat.
So, go forth and proselytize! Tell your friends to start knitting kitsch, tell your family to crochet up a retro storm, tell complete strangers, chase people down at bus stops! And when you get out of jail, don’t forget to make a DIY yourself!
Handmade by Mother is in no way liable for lawyer’s fees, bail money, gas money for when you try to jump bail, and prescription ointments for your Taser burns.
But take heart, at least with three times a week, I’ll be updating my blog more often than this guy did!
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