Friday, September 24, 2010

DIY – Poodle Party Crashers

“La-la-la,” sang Miss Tissue-Poo. “I love my new friend, Miss Spray-Poo! She’s a hair-spray cozy and she keeps me safe from Mr. Fishy Fangs. You can find her marvellously uncomplicated pattern right here.”

“Excuse me, but I’m much to cool for old-fashioned hairspray,” said Miss Spray-Poo. “My insides are a tall, slim bottle of Aussie Sydney Smooth Heat Protector. When the heat is on, be smooth.

“Miss Spray-Poo’s made from the very finest left-over pink acrylic worsted-weight yarn scraps, doubled up so no one will suspect you use cheap, foreign hair spray,” continued Miss Tissue-Poo.

“I told you it’s not hairspray,” insisted Miss Spray-Poo. “And who are you talking to?”

“She may not look like much at first,” Miss Tissue-Poo burbled happily, “but once you tie on the extra-thick pompoms (be sure to do MANY more wraps than the pattern calls for) Miss Spray-Poo’s a perky poodle princess.”

“That’s it,” said Miss Spray-Poo, neither perky nor a princess. “I need a drink!”

Where will Miss Spray-Poo find a stiff drink?

Suddenly, a stranger appeared in the bathroom.

“That’s no stranger,” exclaimed Miss Spray Poo. “She’s my old friend, Nearly Headless Fifi. Now here’s a gal who knows how to party hard!”

“I don’t think we’re allowed to hold parties in the powder room,” said Miss Tissue-Poo, uncomfortably.

“Look at me,” shouted Miss Spray-Poo. “I’m not Nearly Headless, I’m Totally Headless! Woo-hoo!”

“Yeah, but I brought the booze!” retorted Fifi, flinging her head off with a flourish.

“Hurray!” said Miss Spray-Poo.

“Horrors,” gasped Miss Tissue-Poo. “The bathroom is packed with decapitated barfly poodles! What will people think?”

Everyone ignored Miss Tissue-Poo, and the Poodle Party proceeded apace. Eventually, Miss Tissue-Poo loosened up enough to ask Mr. Fishy Fangs to dance. He ignored her, as he’s in a committed relationship with the Bathroom Wall.

Will more Poodles crash this party? Stay tuned!


  1. These poodles are giving me flashbacks to my youth. They may seem funny, but when 51% of the population is doesn't have access to employment and the pursuit of their own destiny, crocheted poodles can pop out. These are why the women's movement was necessary. Women hold up half the sky, but these women were relegated to "staying busy."

    1. That's so true! When your culture is sick, all sorts of twisted, bizarre things pop out.

      I'm sorry I made you relive your trauma. I have the same reaction when see plastic daisy crafts.