Poo Spray!

Hair Spray Cover from “Knit, Crochet, Embroider and Braid with Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn”, c. 1965

Think your bathroom is a poodle paradise just because your toilet rolls and guest soaps have been poodlized? Think again!

What about all the other common bathroom items currently flaunting their nudity for everyone to see? Think of your hairspray inspiring your neighbours to live in sin!

Make no mistake, your poodle-less hairspray is living in sin.

What’s that? You don’t use hairspray? Shocking!

Go ahead and argue that it’s all the rage to go au naturel, but believe me, you’ll regret letting your hair run wild and free. Hair must be shaped, molded, and forced to conform.
Otherwise, one morning you’ll look in the bathroom mirror and see this:

So, stock up on hair spray before it’s too late!

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Hair Spray Cover

KNITTED OR CROCHETED

Why is Aunt Lydia shouting at us? For that matter, why is she decapitating poodles?

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD COMPANY “AUNT LYDIA’S” HEAVY RUG YARN

Maybe Aunt Lydia’s A LITTLE BIT DEAF.

2 Skeins Pink or color of your choice
1 Pr. Knitting Needles No. 8 for knitted cover
Aluminum Crochet Hook Size H for crocheted cover

There, now that she has a hearing aid, everything’s much better.

OR ANY SIZE NEEDLES WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW

Eek!

Scraps of Red and Black felt
1 ¼ yds. ½ inch Pink ribbon
GAUGE: KNIT: 7 sts 2 = inches;
CROCHET: 3 sts = 1 inch

I can’t stand the uncertainty. Is she going to shout? Or is she going to speak nicely? And what does “7 sts 2 = inches” mean anyway?

Aunt Lydia, you’re scaring me!

CROCHET
HEAD: Ch 11 loosely, 1 s c in 2nd st from hook, 1 s c in each st of ch, ch 1, turn. 2nd ROW: 1 s c in each s c, ch 1, turn. 3rd ROW: Repeat 2nd row, ch 4, turn. 4th ROW: 1 s c in 2nd st from hook, 1 s c in each st of ch, 1 s c in each s c, ch 1, turn. 5th ROW: 1 s c in each s c, ch 1, turn. 6th ROW: 1 s c in each s c to within last 2 s c, dec in next 2 s c (to dec: insert hook in next st, pull loop through, insert hook in next st, pull look through, yarn over and work off all loops at one time), ch 1, turn. 7th ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 7 s c, ch 1, turn. 8th and 9th ROWS: Dec in 1st 2 sts, 1 s c in each s c, ch 1, turn, cut yarn at end of last row. Work another section in same manner. Sew 2 sections tog leaving neck open. Attach yarn at back seam, ch 1, *dc in next st, repeat from * all around, join, cut yarn.

You know what? I’m going to just sit over here and do exactly what she tells me to do. So what if Aunt Lydia’s sewing pieces of crochet work together instead of crocheting it all in one piece? I’m sure she knows exactly what she’s doing. She certainly sounds knowledgeable.

Okay, she sounds loud. But it’s the same thing, right?

BODY: Ch 2, 6 s c in 2nd st from hook, do not join rounds, place a marker at beg of each round. 2nd ROUND: Work 2 s c in each st. 3rd ROUND: 1 s c in each s c inc 3 sts evenly space. 4th and 5th ROUNDS: Repeat 3rd round (21 sts), join. 6th ROUND: Ch 2, d c in each d c, join. Repeat last round 6 times (or length desired for taller container), cut yarn. Cut a 24 inch length of yarn, pull length through last row. Place cover over container and tie.

What I’ve learned from Aunt Lydia today:

It’s very important to keep your ROWS and ROUNDS straight. Therefore, when crocheting, you should always be sure to scream each word at the top of your lungs before embarking on a ROW or ROUND.

No, of course your family won’t mind!

POMPONS: Wind yarn 30 times over a 2 ½ inch cardboard, slop off cardboard, tie at center, trim. Work 2 more pompons in same manner. Tie 2 pompons on top of head and 1 pompon at tail section. Work 6 more pompons in same manner but wind yarn 25 times over cardboard. Tie one on each side for ears and 4 for legs as illustrated.

NOSE POMPON:Work 2. Wind yarn 10 times over a 1 ½ inch cardboard, complete pompons as before. Tie in place at each side of nose. Cut 3 circles of Black felt 1.2 inch in diameter for eyes and tip of nose. Cut tongue as illustrated from Red felt, sew or glue in place.

That’s right! Don’t think you’re getting away with not covering your hair spray, just because you don’t know how to CROCHET!

Yes, I can be Aunt Lydia!

KNITTED
HEAD Cast on 15 sts and work in stockinette st (K 1 row, P 1 row) for 6 rows ending on wrong side, cast on 4 sts. NEXT 4 ROWS: Work in stockinette st. 11th ROW: K 4 sts, K 2 tog, K remaining sts to within 2 sts, K 2 tog. 12th ROW: P across row. 13th ROW: Bind off 4 sts, K to within 2 sts, K 2 tog. 14th ROW: Repeat 12th row. 15th ROW: K 2 tog, K to within 2 sts, K 2 tog. 16th ROW: Same as 12th row. 17th ROW: K across row to within 2 sts, K 2 tog. 18th ROW: Repeat 12th row. 19th ROW: Repeat 17th row. 20th ROW: Repeat 12th row. 21st ROW: Repeat 17th row (7 sts on needle), bind off. Work another section in same manner reversing all shaping. With right side of work toward you, pick up and K 15 sts at neckedge. 2nd ROW: P across row. 3rd ROW: K across inc 5 sts evenly spaced. 4th ROW: Repeat 2nd row, bind off. Sew 2 sections tog.

I’m going to assume that we’re putting the right sides of BOTH works together...

Ooh, shouting is fun!

...and joining them together while picking up sts. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?

Yay, I’m a fibercraft dominKNITrix!

A poodle hair spray cover would fit right into this kinky scene, don’t you think?

BODY: Cast on 7 sts, P across row. 2nd ROW: Inc in every st as follows: K 1 in front of st, K 1 in back of same st. 3rd ROW: P across row. 4th ROW: Repeat 2nd row. 5th ROW: P across row. 6th ROW: K across row. 7th ROW: P across row. Repeat last 2 rows until cover measures 7 inches from beg or length desired for taller container. NEXT ROW: BEADING: K 1, * y o, K 2 tog, repeat from * across row ending with K 2 tog, K 1. NEXT ROW: K across. NEXT ROW: P across, bind off. Sew seam and complete same as crocheted cover.

And there you go – your hair spray is now securely restrained inside a knitted or crocheted poodle. Your victims I mean, loved ones, will be very impressed.

Coming up... even more poodles!

Click here for the printable pattern.