It's a Dog's Life!

Ripple Coat and Dog Sweater from “Ripples, Knitted & Crocheted”, c. 1965

Barbara was a professional. She could cope with modeling a coat made from the itchiest wool imaginable. She could cope with sharing the spotlight with a spoiled rotten little dog. However, what really burned Barbara’s cookies was the fashion photographer’s bright idea to flip the ends of her hair up, so she looked just like the cutesy canine.

“Everyone knows dog owners resemble their dogs,” said the photographer. “Like the fat man with a bulldog, or the classy French dame with her poodle. Can you dig it?”

No, Barbara did not dig it. But Barbara was a professional. And she owed a month’s rent to her landlord and the only thing in her fridge was half a tub of yogurt.

So she plastered a smile on her face and thought, “They can make me sit next to it, but they can’t make me touch it!”

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

The Ripple Coat

SIZE: Small-Medium

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD COMPANY “DAWN” KNITTING WORSTED
16 ounces Antique Gold
12 ounces each Opal Blue and Sand

Yes, Antique Gold AKA Harvest Gold. A very popular colour in the sixties, as evidenced by this home decorating ad.

Matching her dress to her kitchen wallpaper was a hip trend for the happening housewife of the 1960s. And it was practical, too! When her husband and children come charging home demanding to be fed, she quickly freezes and becomes one with the wallpaper.

Eventually, their cries unanswered, hubby and the kiddies will wander off. Leaving the wily housewife alone to enjoy her poodle-swathed alcoholic beverages in peace.

2 ½ yds. lining material
Plastic Crochet Hook Size J OR ANY SIZE HOOK WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW

GAUGE: 3 sts = 1 inch

Starting at neck edge with Opal Blue ch 160, s c in 2nd ch from hook, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, * skip 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, repeat from * across ch ending to correspond, ch 1, turn. 2nd ROW: Working in back loop of sts throughout dec 1 st (to dec: insert hook in st, pull yarn through, insert hook in next st, pull yarn through, Y O and work off all loops at one time), s c in next s c, * 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, repeat from * across row ending to correspond dec 1 st at end of row, drop Opal Blue ((when changing color always complete last half of st with next color), attach Sand, ch 1, turn. Repeat 2nd row throughout working in following color scheme: next 2 rows Sand, next 2 rows Antique Gold and next 2 rows Opal Blue increasing in 1st row of each 4th stripe until there are 3 increase stripes. (Inc. Row: work in same manner but work 2 s c in s c before the center st of point, 3 s c in point and 2 s c in next s c after point). NEXT 6 ROWS: Work even. NEXT ROW: Start separation for Body Sections and Sleeves: Work in pattern inc over 1st 4 points (front), ch 15, skip next 4 points (sleeve), work inc. across next 7 points (back), ch 15, skip next 4 points (sleeve), work inc over last 4 points (front). NEXT ROW: Work even across all sts and chs (17 points). Continue even in pattern and color scheme for 30 inches or length desired from underarm, cut yarn.

I must confess that I’ve taken a significant liberty with these patterns. They were originally written as an indigestible block of text without so much as a single line break. For my own sanity, I’ve inserted the occasional double space.

SLEEVES: Working on opposite side of underarm ch, attach yarn and work in pattern across ch and free points (5 points). NEXT 4 ROWS: Work even in pattern and color scheme. NEXT ROW: With same color as last row work in pattern, cut yarn. Sew sleeve seams, with matching colors.

FRONT BORDER: With Antique Gold starting at lower edge of right front work 2 s c over each stripe to top of 1st point at neck edge, 2 s c in point, then 2 s c in each remaining point, work down other edge to correspond to opposite edge, cut yarn, do not turn. NEXT 2 ROWS: Working in back loop of sts work 1 s c in each s c in each row, cut yarn. Work in pattern across lower edge of coat, cut yarn.

Besides, without the occasional break, you could get confused and end up with a Front Border on your Sleeves!

Now, I don’t want to claim I’m saving you from a fate worse than death, but you know I am.

LINING: See page 29 – 2nd column.

Lining for Coat – shown on cover

LINING: Fold coat in half with fold to center back, then fold again with fold at underarm. Cut a paper pattern for back and half of sleeve allowing about 1 inch for seams and fullness. Cut pattern for front and other half of sleeve allowing about 2 inches for seams and fullness. Place pattern on material center back on fold. Cut pattern pieces from material and seam. Steam seams. Place lining in coat, allow to hang, then baste in place along front edge easing to coat. Slash at neck edge and underarm. Quilt to coat at 3 inch intervals in entire coat. Cut points along hemline and cuffs and stitch in place. Sew lining in position.

I call shenanigans! The coat on the cover clearly doesn’t have a lining.

No wonder Barbara looks so stiff and unlifelike. She’s frozen in place!

Oh yes, there will be a Dog Jibber. And no, that’s not a threat.

Okay, yes it is.

Ripple Dog Sweater

Size: 14 and 19 inch length from back of neck to tail.

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD COMPANY “DAWN” KNITTING WORSTED
2 ounces Sand, Opal Blue and Antique Gold
Plastic Crochet Hook Size J OR ANY SIZE HOOK WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW

Gauge: 3 sts = 1 inch

Directions are given for a 14 inch length. 19 inch length given in parentheses.

If you thought the instructions for Babs’ coat were bad, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

With Opal Blue ch 48 (69). Work 1st 2 rows same as Coat in this page but join all rows and ch 1 to turn each row. NEXT 6 (8) ROWS: Repeat the 2nd row of coat following the same color scheme. 9th (11th) ROW: Same as inc row of coat. NEXT 4 (6) ROWS: Work even. 14th (18th) ROW: START LEG OPENINGS: With Opal Blue (Antique Gold) work across 1st 1 (2) points. There are 9 (18) sts, ch 1, turn. NEXT 1 (3) ROWS: Work even dec 1 st beg and end of row, cut yarn (side section), turn. Skip next 11 s c of last long row for leg opening, attach Opal Blue (Antique Gold) in next s c, s c in same space, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, * 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, repeat from * once (twice), 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, ch 1, turn. NEXT 1 (3) ROWS: Work in pattern across these sts dec 1 st at beg and end of each row (back section), cut yarn, turn. Skip next 11 sts of last long row, attach yarn in next s c, work side to correspond to 1st side, cut yarn, turn. 16th (22nd) ROW: Attach Sand (Sand) in 1st s c, working across all sections dec in 1st 2 sts of 1st section, then work across 1st section ending with 1 s c in each of the last 4 s c, ch 7, s c in 1st s c of back section, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, continue in pattern across back section ending with 1 s c in each of the last 4 sts, ch 7, s c in 1st st of other side section, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, 3 s c in next s c, continue in pattern across section dec in last 2 sts, ch 1, join, turn. NEXT 10 (14) ROWS: Working over ch in 1st row work in pattern following color scheme and joining each round. 27th (37th) ROW: Work even in pattern but do not join, ch 1, turn. NEXT 5 ROWS: Repeat last row. 33rd (43rd) ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, dec in next 2 sts, work in pattern across row ending to correspond, ch 1, turn. 34th (44th) ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, dec in next 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, 3 s c in next s c, continue across row in pattern ending to correspond, ch 1, turn. 35th (45th) ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, continue across row in pattern ending to correspond, ch 1, turn. 36th (46th) ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, continue across row in pattern ending to correspond, ch 1, turn. 37th (47th) ROW: Dec in 1st 2 sts, dec in next 2 sts, s c in next s c, 3 s c in next s c, continue in pattern across row ending to correspond, cut yarn. With wrong side of work toward you attach Opal Blue (Antique Gold) at separation, sl st in each row, work in pattern across the s c, sl st in each row on opposite side, join, cut yarn.

Handmade by Mother accepts no responsibility for eye strain, double vision or seizures resulting from attempts to follow this pattern.

LEG SECTION FOR SMALL SIZE: Work as follows: with right side of work and center seam toward you and neck edge to top, attach Opal Blue in 1st Sand row of leg opening to right of seam, 2 s c in same space, 2 s c in next Opal Blue row, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, 3 s c in center st of point, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, skip next 2 s c, 3 s c over side of Blue row, 3 s c in Sand row (inc point), s c in next Sand row, 1 s c at base of next 2 sts, skip next 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, 2 s c in next st, join, ch 1 to turn each row. NEXT ROW: With Sand 2 s c in 1st s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, * skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, repeat from * once, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, 2 s c in next s c, ch 1, turn. Repeat last row once. NEXT ROW: 1 s c in each of the 1st 3 s c, * skip next 2 s c, sc in next s c, dec in next 2 s c, 3 s c in next s c, dec in next 2 s c, s c in next s c, repeat from * once, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 sts. NEXT ROW: 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, * skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts, repeat from * once, skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 sts. NEXT ROW: 2 s c in 1st s c, * skip next 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 2 s c, repeat from * once, skip next 2 s c, 2 s c in next s c. NEXT ROW: Sl st loosely in each st, join, cut yarn. Work other leg but start at end of 1st row and work to beg of row. Work remainder of leg in same manner.

I’m impressed by how much more complicated the dog’s coat is compared to the woman’s. Clearly, people who love their dogs are willing to put far more work into them, than they are into themselves!

LEG SECTION FOR LARGE SIZE: With right side of work and center seam toward you and neck edge to top attach Antique Gold in 1st Sand row of leg opening to right of seam, 2 s c in same row, 2 s c in next row, 3 s c in next Opal Blue row (inc point), 2 s c in next row, s c in next s c, skip 1 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, 3 s c in center st of point, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, skip 1 s c, s c in next s c, 2 s c in next Opal Blue row, 3 s c in next row (inc point) , 2 s c in next row, s c in next row, 1 s c in base of the next 3 sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in base of next 3 sts, join in 1st s c. NEXT 7 ROWS: Work in pattern. NEXT ROW: Sl st in each st, join, cut yarn. Work other leg in same manner but start at the end of 1st row and work to beg of row. Work remainder of leg in same manner.

COLLAR: (Both sizes) With wrong side of work toward you attach Antique Gold in joining at neck edge, 3 s c in same space, working on opposite side of starting ch, * 2 s c in next st, 1 s c in next st, ch 2, skip next st, s c in next s c, 2 s c in next st, 3 s c over next ch 2, repeat from * all around omitting the 3 s c group in last repeat, join, ch 1, turn. NEXT ROW: 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, * skip next ch 2, 1 s c in each of the next 4 s c, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 4 s c, repeat from * across row ending to correspond, join, cut yarn.

POMPONS: Make 1 of each color. Wind yarn 50 times over a ¾ inch cardboard. Tie one end, cut other end. Trim into shape. Tie tog and fasten to sweater as illustrated.

This would be a far more helpful instruction if there were any visible pompons on the dog’s sweater.

CORD: Take two 1 ½ yd. lengths of Opal Blue. Twist tightly, fold in half and let twist itself. Tie ends. Lace through holes of Sand row at neck edge.

Dog Jibber

Jibber is an appropriate name for this pointless bit of doggy frippery. According to the Random House dictionary, “to jib” means to “stop short and turn restively from side to side; balk.” Which is exactly what any sensible dog would do the moment you tried to tie one of these to his head.

With Opal Blue ch 20 and work same as Dog Sweater on page 2. Repeat 2nd row of coat 19 times. 21st ROW: * S c in center st of next point, repeat from * twice, sl st in end st, ch 1, turn. 22nd ROW: 1 s c in each st, ch 1, turn. 23rd ROW: Keeping loops on hook 1 s c in each s c, yarn over and work off all loops at one time, ch 1 to tighten st, cut yarn. With right side of 1st row toward you attach Opal Blue in 1st st at opposite end, s c in same space, * s c in next point, repeat from * once, s c in end st, ch 1, turn. Complete end in same manner as opposite end.

Also, please note that there are no actual photos of the dog wearing this jibber. I suspect that the poor wardrobe lady who tried to tie it onto him ended up in the emergency room.

No wonder Barbara wouldn’t lay a hand on this killer canine.

POMPON: Same as Dog sweater. Sew to jibber as illustrated.

TIES: (Make 2) Cut two 1 yd. lengths of Opal Blue. Work same as ties of Dog sweater. Attach to each end of jibber.

Now grab your camera and take a picture of your dog before she jibbers her way out of the jibber.

Instant fame on I Has a Hotdog awaits!

Click here for the printable pattern.