This, children, is the Frog that Wouldn’t Leap. His mother warned him repeatedly, “Frankie, if you don’t leap, you won’t make it very far in life!”
But Frankie the Frog ignored her wise advice, preferring to walk everywhere he went. “Leaping is too hard,” he said. “Besides, this way I can stop and smell the roses.”
Then one day Frankie strolled casually onto the highway... and was instantly flattened by a passing car!
The moral of this story is: Always listen to your mother. Or else you’ll end up just like Flat Frankie, squished into the pavement with your eyes popped out of your head.
Okay now, everyone scamper off to bed. Sweet dreams!
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
AMERICAN THEAD COMPANY “AUNT LYDIA’S” HEAVY RUG YARN
8 – 70 yd. skeins Dk. Green
2 – 70 yd. skeins Fern Green
3 x 6 inch section White felt
Plastic Crochet Hook Size J OR ANY SIZE WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW
GAUGE: 5 sts = 2 inches; 5 rows = 2 inches
NOTE: ENTIRE RUG IS WORKED OVER A SINGLE STRAND OF YARN
Except for the eyes and the legs, which are all worked separately. Oh, and every now and then you’ll reach the end of your skein and have to attach a new strand of yarn in order to continue.With Dk. Green ch 30, work 2 s c in 2nd ch from hook, 1 s c in each remaining st to within last st, 2 s c in last st; working on other side of ch, 2 s c in 1st and last st with 1 s c on each st between. Do not join this or following rounds. Place a marker at beg of each round. 2nd ROUND: 1 s c in each s c working 2 s cin each of the 4 inc s c at each end. 3rd ROUND: 1 s c in each s c working the 8 inc sts at each end as follows: inc in every other st. 4th ROUND: Continue in s c inc in every other st at each end in same manner as 3rd round. 5th ROUND: Work even in s c. 6th to 28th ROUNDS: Continue in s c inc as necessary at each end to keep work flat. 29th ROUND: Mark the center st at opposite end of oval, work to within 12 s c of marker, work 1 s c in next s c, 1 s d c in each of the next 2 s c (s d c : Y O insert in st, pull through, Y O and pull through all loops at one time), 1 d c in next st, 1 s d c in each of the next 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 13 sts, 1 s d c in next 2 sts, 1 dc in next st, 1 s dc in each of the next 2 sts, 1 s c in next st, 1 s c in each remaining st, sl st in next 2 sts to even round, cut yarn.
So, Mr. Pattern Editor might want to think twice about shouting inaccurate NOTES at us. Because if he does it again, I’ll tell his Mother, and she’ll flatten him.
The “s d c” above is also known as a half double crochet or hdc.HEAD: With Dk. Green ch 2, work 6 s cin 2nd st from hook. Do not join and place a marker at beg of each round. 2nd ROUND: * 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in next s c, repeat from * twice. 3rd ROUND: 1 s c in next s c, * 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 3 s c, repeat from * once, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each remaining s c. NEXT 5 ROUNDS: Work in s c working 3 s c in center st at inc points. NEXT 2 ROUNDS: Same as previous rounds but work 5 s c in center st at inc points. 11th ROUND: 1 s c in next 2 s c, 1 s d c in next 2 sts, 3 d c in next st (eye), 1 s d c in next 2 sts, 1 s c in each of next 11 sts, 1 s d c in next 2 sts, 3 d c in next st, 1 s d c in next 2 sts, 1 s c in each remaining st working 3 s c in center st at inc points. 13th ROUND: 1 s c in each of the next 6 sts, 1 s d c in each of next 3 sts, 1 s c in each of next 12 sts, 1 s d c in each of next 3 sts, 1 s c in each remaining st working 3 s c in center st at inc points, sl st in next 2 sts to even round, cut yarn leaving a 10 inch length. Mark center st on straight side of this round. Matching center sts sew head in place with overcastting st to 1st section. Work a row of s c all around rug, then work 1 sl st in each s c, join, cut yarn.
Whereas, “S D C” stands for the Society of Dyers and Colourists, the Studebaker Drivers Club, and the environmentally friendly Sustainable Dance Club. None of which are applicable to this crochet pattern except obviously the eco-friendly clubbers.
After all, what could be more sustainable than dancing on a vintage flattened frog?
Plus, Thursday is Earth Day. The perfect time to reflect on Earth’s Ecology, and on everything we’re doing to destroy our planet – including driving frogs to extinction!FRONT LEGS: Work 1 leg following sts outside parentheses and 1 leg following sts inside parentheses. With Fern Green ch 15, 1 s c in 2nd st from hook, 1 s c in each of the next 6 (5) chs, 3 s c in next ch, 1 s c in each of the next 6 (7) chs, ch 1 to turn all rows. 2nd ROW: Working in back loop (on all legs) 1 s c in each of the next 7 (8) sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 8 (7) sts. 3rd ROW: 1 s c in next 9 (8) sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 8 (9) sts. 4th ROW: 1 s c in next 9 (10) sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 10 (9) sts. 5th ROW: 1 s c in next 11 (10) sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 10 (11) sts. Do not turn. Work toes as follows: ch 3 sl st in next row, * ch 2, 1 d c in next row, ch 2 sl st in same row, repeat from * once, ch 3, sl st in last st, cut yarn. Work toes at other end of 1st row on 2nd leg.
Granted, it’s not just by running them over on the highway and turning them into rugs. Still, don’t underestimate Flat Frankie the Frog’s ability to raise awareness.
Now, if crocheting up a dead frog for your child’s room just isn’t enough to show your love for Mother Earth’s tailless amphibians, then you can also hang a frog that’s still desperately clinging to life on your child’s door knob.
BACK LEGS: Ch 30, 1 s c in 2nd st from hook, 1 s c in each of the next 8 chs, 3 s c in next ch, 1 s c in each of the next 19 chs. 2nd ROW: 1 s c in next 20 sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 10 sts. 3rd ROW: 1 s c in next 11 sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 21 sts. 4th ROW: 1 s c in next 22 sts, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 12 sts. 5th ROW: 1 s c in next 13 s c, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in next 23 sts, cut yarn. Attach yarn on short end and work toes same as front legs. Work a 2nd leg in same manner but reverse order of starting sts, then complete in same manner as other leg.
EYES: (Work 2). With Fern Green ch 5, work 15 d c in 1st st of ch, join in 5th ch. 2nd ROUND: Working in back loop of sts work in s c inc in every 3rd st, join, cut yarn.
FINISHING: Steam rug. Sew legs in position as illustrated. Sew crocheted eyes in place then cut circles of White felt about ¼ inch less than crocheted circle. Sew in place. Finish eye with pompons.
Even better, place the Frog that Can No Longer Leap rug prominently in your front hall, and dangle the “Save The Earth, Torture a Frog” Door Hanger on your front door.POMPON: Wind Fern Green 10 times over a 1 inch cardboard, slip off cardboard, tie in center, cut both ends and trim into shape.
Not only will this show your commitment to lily pad stewardship today, this decorative theme could also save your life in the not-too-distant future.
BODY POMPONS: Wind Fern Green 10 times and Dr. Green 10 times over a 3 inch cardboard and complete as above. Work 4, then work 6 in the same manner using Dk. Green only. Attach in place as desired.
After all, Mother always warned you that too much of a good thing could lead to an amphibian apocalypse. So, if the frog-huggers save too many tadpoles we could face a full scale frog invasion of our homes.
In this all too likely scenario, I guarantee that at the first sight of your Frankie the Flattened Frog rug, all the megalomaniacal, mutant froggies WILL leap out of your way.
However, you’ll be on your own with the gators. They’re reptiles, not amphibians.
Click here for the printable pattern.