Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Stocking Setbacks

Stocking Place Mats from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980

Stocking Place Mats
By Carol Ann Nadeau

To add a festive touch to your holiday table we present this stocking place mat. Children will especially love the way the stocking holds their utensils and napkin.
Adults, on the other hand, will be especially annoyed by how their wine glass keeps falling off this lumpy, crocheted placemat.
These colorful Christmas Stocking Place Mats will brighten any Christmas luncheon table setting. Imagine your guests surprise when they find their napkins tucked neatly inside their own little Christmas stocking!
Yes, your guests will be surprised when you brighten your Christmas luncheon with a scavenger hunt.

Spoiler alert: The glazed ham is behind the sofa cushion.
The fork, knife and spoon will fit inside too, if you wish, and these place mats are perfect for buffet lunches as well, since everything needed is right there in each stocking.
I can visualize your buffet now:

There’s a pyramid of neatly rolled placemats stacked beside the festive food spread over your dining room table. “Take one of the Christmas placemats I made,” you urge your guests. “All your silverware is inside the stocking. It’s that the cleverest thing?”

Your elderly neighbour, Mrs. Higginbottom, bravely takes a Christmas Stocking placemat, and sits down on the living room couch. All is well, until she attempts to unroll the merry mat over her knees while holding a full plate in her other hand.

The fork, spoon and knife hit your white shag carpeting first, followed in short order by the deviled eggs, tomato aspic, cranberry sauce, roast turkey and fruit cake. Yes, these Christmas Stocking Placemats are perfect... a perfect catastrophe.
So, give your holiday entertaining that extra special personal touch this year with Christmas Stocking Place Mats you made yourself and have a very warm and happy holiday season!
Replete with spilled wine, stained carpets, and ruined clothes. After all, Christmas isn’t Christmas without tears and recriminations!

For a pattern guaranteed to ruin the best-planned Christmas Buffet:


MATERIALS: Knitting worsted weight yarn, 4 oz. skeins, 2 each dark green and white, 1 red (makes 3 place mats); crochet hooks sizes H&K.

FINISHED SIZE: Each mat measures approximately 12’’ x 17’’ including edging.

NOTE: Place mats are worked with 1 strand of dark green and 1 strand of white held together throughout.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: These place mats are one use only. No matter how washable your wool is, there’s no way you’ll get all the dried up bits of sausage stuffing and figgy pudding out of your encrusted placemats.

With 1 strand dark green and 1 strand white and size K hook, ch 47 to measure about 15’’.
ROW 1: Sc in 3rd ch from hook, * ch 1, sk 1 ch, sc in next ch, repeat from * across (23 sc). Ch 2, turn.
ROW 2: Sc in next ch 1 sp, * ch 1, sc in next ch 1 sp, repeat from * across ending with ch 1, sc in turning ch 2 sp, ch 2, turn. Repeat row 2 until piece measures about 9’’ from beg. Do not break yarn but turn and work edging as follows: * Ch 6, sc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 3, sl st in next sc, repeat from * along wide edge, ch 6, sc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 3, sl st in next row, ** ch 6, sc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 3, skip 1 row, sc in next row, repeat from ** along side edge. Work along other wide edge and other side edge to correspond. End off.
Besides, after this year’s Christmas buffet catastrophe, you won’t need these placemats again. Next year you’ll be crocheting the whole darn dinner.

I recommend you place your crocheted creations on your best dinner platter, and enter the dining room screaming, “Try staining my carpet with THIS you slovenly swine!”

I guarantee that you’ll never again be asked to host a family holiday fĂȘte.

With single strand of red and size H hook, ch 18.
ROW 1: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across. (17 sc) Ch 1, turn, each row.
ROW 2: Working in sc, dec 1 st at beg and end of row (to dec: pull up a lp in each of next 2 sc, yo and through all lps on hook – 1 dec made).
ROW 3: Work even in sc. Repeat rows 3 & 3 until 9 sts remain.
ROWS 9 – 12: Work even in sc.
ROW 13: Working in sc, inc 1 st at beg and end of row (to inc: work 2 sc in same st – 1 inc made), (11 sc).
ROW 14: Repeat row 13 once. (13 sc)
ROW 15: Working in sc, inc 1 st in last st. (14 sc)
ROW 16: Working in sc, inc 1 st in first st, sc in each sc across. (15 sc)
ROWS 17 & 18: Work even in sc.
ROW 19: Working in sc, dec 1 st at beg and end of row. (13 sc)
ROW 20: Repeat row 19 once. (11 sc)
ROW 21: Working in sc, dec 1 st at beg of row, sc in each of next 5 sc, sl st in next sc. End off.
Once the humdrum task of making the roast beast is safely in another sucker’s relative’s hands, you can turn your festive crochet skills to better effect.

Well, more spectacular effect, at any rate.

ROW 1: With wrong side facing, attach white in first sc, work a lp st in this sc and in each sc across (lp st: insert hook in st, wind yarn over left index finger from front to back, catch yarn with hook and pull through, drop lp from finger, yo and through 2 lps on hook – 1 lp st made), ch 1, turn each row. (17 lp sts)
ROW 2: Work even in sc.
ROW 3: Work even in lp st. End off.

FINISHING: Sew Christmas Stocking to lower left front of place mat with toe pointing to left (lp sts on top should be facing). Leave top edge open to hold napkin and silverware. Press with damp cloth blocking to size.
Don’t forget to crochet up some milk and cookies for Santa!

Low-cal, high-fiber, and completely carpet-safe! Santa’s going to be thrilled!*

*Handmade by Mother accepts no responsibility for the appearance of coal in your Christmas Stocking placemats, should you leave crocheted cookies out on Christmas Eve.

Click here for the printable pattern.

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