Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Happy Ash Wednesday!

Cigarette Case pattern from Ideas for Gifts, 1949

True, Ash Wednesday is more of a time of repentance than a happy occasion. And yes, it’s probably a bad idea to smudge cigarette ash on your forehead this Wednesday – especially if the ciggy’s still lit. Nonetheless, today is the beginning of Lent, a traditional time for giving up bad habits. And if quitting smoking for the next 40 days seems like too daunting a task, just imagine trying to give up an even more addictive vice of the modern age.

To help you or someone you know quit the non-wacky tabacky, I present this crocheted Anti-Smoking cigarette case. Okay, it doesn’t lock shut, so it won’t actually stop anyone from helping themselves to another cigarette. However, every time Demon Nicotine tempts you to reach for another cancer stick, you’ll be reminded of the true meaning of Lent.

No Fun.

See? It’s monogrammed right on the case!

Click here for the complete pattern (and more snark):

CIGARETTE CASE

MATERIALS: J & P COATS OR CLARKS O.N.T. PEARL COTTON, Size 5, 2 balls of Yellow and scraps of brown . . . Steel Crochet Hook No. 7 . . . 1 snap fastener.

GAUGE: 10 sts make 1 inch; 10 rows make 1 inch.
The suggestion to use yellow and brown yarn scraps is no accident. It’s a sneaky strategy to combat advertising suggesting that smoking will keep you slim and sexy.

“Stop!” Your N.F. cigarette case will silently shout. “Your teeth and fingers are being stained the same unsexy shade of yellow and brown you used to crochet me!”
FRONT . . . Starting at bottom with Yellow, ch 21. 1st row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across to within last ch, ch 1, sc in last ch. Ch 1, turn. 2nd row: Sc in each sc across to within last sc, ch 1, sc in last sc. Ch 1, turn. Repeat 2nd row until piece measures 3 inches. Break off.

BACK . . . Work as for Front until piece measures 5 inches. Break off.
Now, I’m not denying that quitting cigarettes is hard. The peer pressure to smoke can be overwhelming.

Mom and Dad would’ve quit smoking – if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!
GUSSET . . . Starting at short side, ch 10. Work as for Front until 76 rows in all have been made.

CORD . . . Cut 2 strands of Brown, 5 yards long. Twist these strands tightly. Now double these strands and give them a twist in the opposite direction. Knot free end (for lacing). Make a shorter Cord for initials and sew on Front piece. Leaving 2 inches free at back for flap, lace Front and Back pieces to Gusset through ch-1 spaces. Lace around top opening and flap edges. Fasten ends securely. Sew snap fastener in place.
There, you’re now ready to banish your smokes to crocheted limbo for 40 days and nights. As a bonus, you’ll also be prepared to stop saucy sailors from importuning you with salacious slang!

“Not during Lent, I don’t!”
Click here for the printable pattern.

3 comments:

  1. Holy crap these ads are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Both Lucky Strike ads feature women who look like they're smoking something a wee bit more mind altering than tobacco.

    It makes me wonder what secret ingredients were in Lucky Strikes!

    ReplyDelete
  3. They are "toasted"...so there you go.

    ReplyDelete