Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Crochet Hooks Are From Mars

Ad for Boye Crochet Hooks and Knitting Needles from McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Fall-Winter 1952-53.

On first glance, the sexy curves of the green crochet hook complement the green chair in which our curvaceous young mother is sitting. And the bright red needle perfectly matches our new father’s tie in both colour and phallic form.

However, using our handy dandy magnifying glasses, we discover that the crochet hook boasts a masculine “round head” which is used for speedy “crocheting action”. While the concave point of the needle suggests a traditional feminine role in eliminating dropped stitches (picking up after everyone again).

And the cross gendered fun doesn’t end there!

For even more snark:

Why, just look how enthusiastic Dad is about his wife’s new knitting needles.

One might suspect that his crushing despair at his first born being a girl(e) has driven him crackers. Or perhaps he’s thrilled at finally finding just the right implements to destroy those pesky vampires next door.

But the truth is, Dad just wants to get his hands on those enormous needles, in order to knit himself a sexy little angora sweater. Mother’s been complaining that he’s stretched all of hers out of shape. Which is hardly fair, considering that he’s no wider across the shoulders, and she’s far chestier. Especially when she wears those sexy cone bras that she never, ever lets him have.

Maybe I could knit myself one of those, he thinks.

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