Bunny Bottle Holder pattern from “50 Gifts to Make from Better Living,” 1952
Here our 1950s Mother has decided to combine dinner with playtime by spiffing up her infant’s bottle with a crocheted bunny. Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it?
Don’t do it!
Don’t you remember what happened when Homer decided to build young Bart a “fun clown bed”?
Even if your infant is made of sterner stuff, and is not easily terrified by killer clowns or psychotic bunnies, this is only number 10 of the Top Ten reasons why you shouldn’t make this bunny bottle holder.
Click here for the complete pattern (and 9 more reasons why you shouldn’t make it!):
Bunny Bottle Holder
Materials: J. & P. Coats “Knit-Cro-Sheen,” Art. A 64, one ball each White (W) and No. 65 Beauty Pink (P); Milwards steel crochet hook No. 4; Embroidery floss, few yards each of rose, blue, red and black; One yd. ¾’’ embroidered ruffling; One yd., ¼’’ pink satin ribbon. Cotton batting for stuffing.
Gauge: 5 sc = 1’’; 5 rows = 1’’.
Use double thread throughout.
9. How is your child supposed to drink from that bottle? The bunny’s head will hit him in the face every time he tries to take a sip. And no, bunny head butting is not an acceptable cure for childhood obesity – babies need food!Head: Starting at front with W, ch 2. Rnd 1: 5 sc in 2nd ch from hook. Rnd 2: 2 sc in each sc around (10 sc). Rnd 3: * 2 sc in next sc (an inc), sc in next sc, repeat from * around (15 sc). Rnd 4: * 2 sc in next sc, sc in each of 2 sc, repeat from * around (20 sc). Rnds 5 thru 10: Sc in each sc around, inc 5 sc evenly on each rnd (50 sc). Work even until piece is 2 ¾’’ from center. Dec 5 sc evenly on each rnd until 15 sc remain. (to dec: draw up lp in each of 2 sc, yo and thru all lps on hook). Stuff head firmly with cotton. Sew opening.
8. I don’t care if your baby is allergic to cow’s milk. Bunny milk is not an acceptable substitute.Body: Make 2: Starting at top with P, ch 11. Row 1: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across (10 sc), ch 1, turn. Row 2: Sc in each sc across, ch 1, turn. Repeat row 2 until piece is 2 ¼’’. Inc. 1 sc at beg of next 6 rows (16 sc); at end of last row ch 5, turn. Next row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook, in each ch and sc across, ch 5, turn. Repeat last row 3 times more (32 sc), at end of last row ch 1, turn. Next row: Sc in each sc across, ch 1, turn. Repeat last row until piece is 4 ¼’’ from start.
7. Why on earth does this bunny have a pouch anyway? Just imagine your poor child’s humiliation when she goes to school and tries to argue that rabbits are marsupials. Do you want your baby girl to never get into college?Leg: Sc in each of first 8 sc, ch 1, turn. Work in sc over these 8 sts until leg is 2’’. End off. Join thread to 8th sc from end of last complete row of body and work leg same. Sew the 2 pieces of body tog, leaving opening at top. Stuff lightly with cotton, sew opening. Sew head to body.
Foot: Make 2: Starting at bottom with W, work as for head for 4 rnds (20 sc). Work even until piece is 1 ½’’from center. End off. Stuff firmly. Sew to leg.
6. And if that’s not an icky, slimy marsupial pouch, then this bunny’s got that baby bottle stuffed down the front of his pants. Bad Bunny!Arm: Make 2: Starting at top with P, ch 13. Row 1: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across, ch 1, turn. Row 2: Sc in each sc across, ch 1, turn. Repeat row 2 until piece is 2’’. End off. Fold lengthwise and sew across long side. Stuff firmly. Sew to body.
Hand: Make 2: With W, work as for head for 2 rnds (10 sc). Work even for 1’’ from center. Stuff firmly and sew to arm.
5. Instead of growing up to be a breast man, your little boy will grow up to become a Bunny Man.
Ear: Make 2: Starting at center with W, ch 12. Rnd 1: 3 sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in each of 9 ch, 3 sc in end ch; working along opposite side of starting ch, sc in each of 11 ch. Rnds 2, 3, 4: Sc in each sc around, inc 3 sc evenly over each rounded end. Rnd 5: Sc at base of each sc around. Join and end off. Sew ears to head. Embroider face with floss; rose nose and mouth, blue eyes, red tongue, black whiskers as pictured. Sew a piece of ruffling around neck, arms and legs.
4. Every time people look at your bunny, they’ll notice that the whiskers aren’t straight. You’ll tell them it’s supposed to be that way, but no one will believe you. They’ll all assume that you don’t care enough about your baby to embroider straight lines on a bunny’s face. The authorities will be called.Bottle holder: Starting at bottom with P, ch 2. Rnd 1: 7 sc in 2nd ch from hook. Rnds 2 through 6: Inc 7 sc evenly on each rnd (42 sc). Work even until piece is 3’’ from center.
3. Sure, you claim that your baby won’t starve because you’ll just take the bottle out of the bunny’s pouch and give it to her. Well, I’m shocked your family, neighbours, and total strangers haven’t been haranguing you every time you even think of using formula.Beading: Ch 4, * sk 1 sc, dc in next sc, ch 1, repeat from * around, join to 3rd ch of ch-4. Next rnd: Sc in joining st, sc in each dc and ch sp around. Sc in each sc around until piece is 4 ½’’ from center.
Good Mothers breastfeed, and let’s face facts, there’s no way that bunny is going to fit over your breast.
2. The baby bottle is made of glass, you say, and therefore not loaded with toxic chemicals. Ha, you’re still not a Good Mother! Don’t you know that glass bottles are heavy and can chip, crack or even shatter into thousands of dangerous glass shards? You might as well let your baby play with Bag O’ Glass!Edging: * Sc in next sc; in next sc, sc, ch 2, repeat from * around. Join and end off. Sew a piece of ruffling around top edge. Cut a 12’’ length of ribbon, draw thru beading to tie. Sew bottle holder to feet and front body. Sew a small ribbon bow to one ear.
1. And finally, the number one reason why you shouldn’t make this bunny bottle holder...
Because if you do, your baby will grow up to be Jimmy Stewart!
Click here for the printable pattern.