“In my day,” the old, raggedy pink towel grumbled, “we didn’t laze around waiting until some human wanted to rub us against his wet, naked body!”
A giggle was heard from the brand new towel set. “Yeah right, grandpa,” the facecloth jeered.
“Listen here, you snot-nosed brat, this crocheted basket I’m sporting wasn’t just for show! During the Korean War, I carried extra facecloths to help fight the dirty Reds on the Home Front! The hand towels, well I don’t rightly remember what their baskets were for, but the facecloths kept the soap nice and handy so Mother could wash out Little Brother’s mouth whenever he cussed!”
“Now, now,” a faded pink hand towel murmured, “mind your blood pressure.”
Grandpa Towel ignored his wife, “Without us towels pulling the weight of two housewares, our Family would have been a one way trip to Germsville!”
Peals of laughter echoed throughout the hall closet. Grandpa’s threats of revenge against the new towel set were muffled by a worn terry cloth facecloth that still smelled faintly of Palmolive soap.
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
Basket Towel Set FV-388
Clark’s “Anchor” Pearl Cotton, Size 5: 5 balls each of No. 776 Hunter’s Green,
Hunter’s Green is a shade of Hunter Green preferred by Grammar Nazis.1 ball each of No. 693 Mid Pink, No. 437 Mid Rose,
Avoid at all costs those Extreme Pinks and Roses.No. 507 Blue, No. 508 Lt. Steel Blue, No. 897 Shaded Yellows, No. 889 Shaded Lavenders, Shaded Dk. Purples, No. 893 Shaded Dk. Blues, No. 584 Dk. Lavender, No. 443 Dk. Yellow
And don’t you dare experiment with bright, sunlit colours.and No. 694 Purple, or
Clark’s “Anchor” Cronita: 2 balls of No. 48 Hunter’s Green and any desired colors for flowers.
Reject conformity and strike out on my own? Surely you jest.Milward’s “Ship” Brand Steel Crochet Hook No. 7
Just keep in mind that Milward’s Ship Brand has long since sailed, probably due to their non-standard hook sizes.A pink bath towel, hand towel and wash cloth.
No alternate colour choices offered here. Insisting on pink towels was probably to ensure that your tough, WWII veteran husband wouldn’t be tempted to use them, thereby preserving your lovely stack of decorative towels. But don’t forget to dust them at least once a week.Large Basket – Front . . . Starting at bottom with Green, ch. 28.
1st row: Dc in 4th ch from hook, * ch 2, skip 2 ch, dc in next 2 ch. Repeat from * across. Ch 1, turn.
2nd row: Sc in first 2 dc, * 2 sc in next sp, sc in next 2 dc. Repeat from * across, ending with sc in top of turning chain. Ch 3, turn.
3rd row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc, * ch 2, skip 2 sc, dc in next 2 sc. Repeat from * across. Ch 1, turn.
4th and 5th rows: Repeat 2nd and 3rd rows.
6th row: Repeat 2nd row.
7th row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc, * ch 3, skip 2 sc, dc in next 2 sc. Repeat from * across. Ch 1, turn.
8th row: Sc in first 2 dc, * 3 sc in next sp, sc in next 2 dc. Repeat from * across, ending with sc in top of turning chain. Ch 3, turn.
9th row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc, * ch 4, skip 3 sc, dc in next 2 sc. Repeat from * across. Ch 1, turn.
10th row: Sc in first 2 dc, * 4 sc in next sp, sc in next 2 dc. Repeat from * across. Ch 3, turn.
11th to 32nd rows incl: Work in pattern, always having dc’s fall above dc’s of previous dc row, and having 1 ch more between dc’s on each dc row and 1 sc more between dc’s on each sc row.
It would have probably saved a lot of typing if this pattern had been explained earlier than the 11th row. Just sayin’.Ch 5, turn, and end of 32nd row.
33rd row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc, * ch 15, skip 15 sc, dc in next sc, ch 2, dc in next sc. Repeat from * across. Ch 3, turn.
34th row: 6 dc in first sp, * 12 sc in next sp, 7 dc in next ch-2 sp. Repeat from * across. Break off.
Hey, just because this is the end of the Front part of the basket, don’t think you can get away with gratuitous hyphenating of that ch 2 without me noticing!Base . . .
1st row: Attach Hunter’s Green to opposite side of starting chain and sc in each st across. Ch 4, turn.
2nd row: Skip first sc, tr in next sc, * ch 4, skip 2 sc, tr in next 2 sc. Repeat from * across. Ch 1, turn.
Please notice I’m not holding against the pattern editor the use of tr (treble) instead of the now standard tc (triple crochet).3rd row: * Sc between next 2 tr, 5 sc in next sp. Repeat from * across, ending with sc between last tr and turning chain. Ch 4, turn.
4th row: 6 tr in first sc, * skip 2 sc in next sc, skip 2 sc, 7 tr in next sc. Repeat from * across. Break off.
After all, I don’t want to give the impression that I’m being unreasonable.Back . . . Using Hunter’s Green, ch 105.
1st row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across. Ch 5, turn.
2nd and 3rd row: Repeat 33rd and 34th rows of Front.
Although I suppose it’s in poor taste that I’m taking comfort in the thought that this booklet’s editor is likely dead.Handle . . . Starting at narrow edge with Hunter’s Green, ch 4.
1st row: In 4th ch from hook make 2 dc, ch 2 and 2 dc. Ch 5, turn.
2nd row: In ch-2 sp make 2 dc, ch 2 and 2 dc. Ch 5, turn. Repeat 2nd row until piece measures 18 inches. Break off.
And I do realize that the editor likely hyphenated the ch 2 here to prevent the chaos and confusion caused by beginning the instructions with “In ch 2 sp”.Flower . . . Starting at center with Mid Pink, ch 6. Join with sl st to form ring.
For all I know, lives were saved by the editorial decision to go with ch-2 sp.1st rnd: Ch 3, 20 dc in ring. Join with sl st to top of ch-3.
But there’s no excuse for hyphenating that ch 3!2nd rnd: * Ch 4, holding back on hook the last loop of each tr make tr in next 2 dc, thread over and draw through all loops on hook (cluster made); ch 4, sl st in next dc. Repeat from * around. Join.
3rd rnd: * 4 sc over next ch-4, in tip of cluster make sc, ch 3, and sc; 4 sc over next ch-4.
That’s it! I’m digging up the editor’s body, and salting and burning the bones!Repeat from * around. Join.
Center . . . Starting at center with Yellow, ch 4, 14 dc in 4th ch from hook. Join and break off. Sew center to flower.
Or maybe I should just switch to decaf.Make 2 more flowers of Mid Pink, 2 Mid Rose, 3 Blue, 2 Lt. Steel Blue, 2 Lavender and 1 each of Purple, Shaded Yellows, Shaded Purples, Shaded Lavenders and Shaded Blues. Make all centers Yellow.
Sew back of basket and handle to bath towel. Sew front of basket in place, leaving top open to form pocket. Sew flowers to basket and towel.
Dampen towel with water, and have a nice lay down with a cool cloth on your forehead. Ignore fact that this is a pattern for a towel set and there are two more baskets to crochet and sew onto pink terry cloth.Click here for the printable pattern.
ETA: The second part is here.