The Boys of Summer!

By the He Sea and Ripple Poncho patterns from Aunt Lydia’s Rug Yarn Collection, c. 1970

You won’t find the “He Sea” on any map, but Aunt Lydia assures me that you’ll find these handsome beach bums right by it. And who am I to doubt Aunt Lydia? Sure, she wants to cover up our menfolk in heavy rug yarn for the summer, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely delusional.

I think this He Sea is totally worth checking out. The photo above proves that it’s packed with hot (especially in that poncho), sweaty (very sweaty in polyester beachwear), clean cut gentlemen who are on the lookout for lady friends.

Why else would they book a vacation at the He Sea? They took one look at the name and knew it would be the perfect place to play beach volleyball and just hang out with other macho men in sexy rippled ponchos… er, before picking up bikini-clad babes.

Just like the Lords South Beach Hotel in Miami Beach, another resort with a manly name, I bet the He Sea also attracts the ladies men with stay-naked dining service and bonfire disco parties.

Aunt Lydia assures me that they’re discussing their new girlfriends.

For the complete patterns – yes, all three of them (and three times the snark!):

SLIP OVER

Wow, I had no idea that spray tanning was popular in 1970.

SIZES: Small, Medium, Large

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD “AUNT LYDIA’S” HEAVY RUG YARN
4 (5, 5) – 70 Yd. skeins Spice

Because he’s spicy!

5 (6, 6) – 70 Yd. skeins White
1 Pr. Knitting Needles No. 10 ½ OR ANY SIZE NEEDLES WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW

GAUGE: 3 sts = 1 inch
Directions are given for Small size. Changes for Medium and Large sizes are given in parentheses.

MEASUREMENTS: Width across front or back at underarm 21’’, 22 ½’’, 23 ½’’.

BACK: With Spice, cast on 42 (45, 48) sts. (Work in stripes of 6 rows Spice and 4 rows White.) Starting with a P row work in stockinette st (P 1 row, K 1 row) inc 2 sts at the beg and end of every K row 5 times, 62 (65, 68) sts. Work even until there are 9 complete White stripes. Work 1 row Spice.

His skin tone certainly resembles my Aunt’s Pumpkin Spice Cake.

SHAPE ARMHOLES: Bind off 4 sts at beg of next 2 rows. Dec 1 st at beg of next 3 rows (this completes Spice stripe), cut Spice. NEXT ROW: Attach White and use for entire yoke. Dec 1 st at beg of row. NEXT 2 ROWS: Dec 1 st at beg of each row. Work even until armholes measure 9 (9 ½, 10) inches. SHAPE SHOULDERS AND NECK: Bind off 7 (8, 8) sts, work across 9 (9, 10) sts and place on holder. Bind off next 16 (17, 18) sts for neck, work across remaining 16 (17, 18) sts. Working one shoulder at a time. Bind off 7 (8, 8) sts, work across row. NEXT ROW Dec 1 st at neck edge, work across. Bind off remaining 8 (8, 9) sts. Attach yarn at neck edge, dec 1 st, work across row. NEXT ROW: Bind off remaining sts.

FRONT: Work same as Back until armholes measure 5 ¼ (5 ½, 6) inches. SHAPE NECK: Work across 18 (19, 20) sts and place on holder, bind off next 12 (13, 14) sts for neck, work across remaining 18 (19, 20) sts. Working one shoulder at a time, dec 1 st at neck every other row twice; 16 (17, 18) sts. Work even until armhole measures same as back. SHAPE SHOULDER: Bind off 7 (8, 8) sts at armhole edge, work across. NEXT ROW: Dec 1 st at neck edge, work across. Bind off remaining stitches. Work other shoulder to correspond.

Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants!

Viking helmet optional, but if you’re going to wear a mini and slather on the pumpkin spice bronzer, you might as well go full Boromir.

FINISHING: Steam and block sections. Weave 1 shoulder seam. With wrong side facing, attach White at neck opening, pick up and K 1 st in each st all around neck. K 1 row, bind off loosely. Weave other shoulder. With White and wrong side facing, work edge around each armhole same as neck. Weave 1 side seam. With White and wrong side facing, attach yarn at opening and complete lower edge same as neck. Weave other side seams. Turn all edges to right side and tack in place. Steam edges.

Tack and steam those edges all you want, they’re still going to roll up and expose your man’s tushie.

You’ll have to decide for yourself if that’s a bad thing.

LACED TANK TOP

Because the medieval page look suits middle-aged men so well.

SIZES: Small, Medium, Large

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD “AUNT LYDIA’S” HEAVY RUG YARN
4 (4, 5) – 70 yd. skeins Bongo – Color B

Hey, it’s our old friend Bongo again!In 1965, Aunt Lydia believed that the colour of African antelopes and Disney circus bears was best suited to placemats. By 1970, she was recommending it for beach attire. Granted, this top looks like a bunch of placemats stitched together, but still I suspect that Aunt Lydia was in the pay of Big Bongo.

3 (3, 3) – 70 yd. skeins Orange – Color C
2 (2, 3) – 70 yd. skeins Antique – Color A
1 Pr. Knitting Needles No. 10 ½ OR ANY SIZE NEEDLES WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW
Plastic Crochet Hook Size H

GAUGE: 3 sts = 1 inch

MEASUREMENTS: Width across front or back at underarm: 20’’, 21’’, 22’’ (each section)

Directions are given for small size. Changes for medium and large sizes are given in parentheses.

Word of advice: Have safe search on before attempting to do internet research on Big Bongos.

NOTE: When changing colors always pick up yarn from under 1st color thus crossing yarn to prevent a hole.

BACK: With color A, cast on 40 (44, 48) sts. K 3 rows. NEXT ROW: With Color A K 4 (border), with color B, K 32 (36, 40) sts, attach another skein of color A (for other border), K 4. NEXT ROW: K 4 color A, P 32 (36, 40) color B, K 4 color A. NEXT ROW: K 4 color A, with color B inc 1 st in next st (to inc: K 1 in usual manner, then K in back of same K st), K to within last st of color B; inc as follows: K 1 st in row below, K last st (the inc on the right will slant to right, the inc on left will slant left), K 4 color A. Repeat last 2 rows until there are 56 (60, 64) color B sts.

Don’t overlook the instructions to make the stitches slant off in different directions. Otherwise, your stylish Bongo Babe Magnet top will end up resembling a piece of African Antelope poop.

NEXT 2 ROWS: K 2 border sts tog at each end before and after color B. Continue in established pattern having only 2 A border sts at each end until section measures 10 inches above lower border on wrong side, cut color B. NEXT 4 ROWS: With color A K across all sts. NEXT ROW: K 2 color A, attach color C and K to within 2 sts, K 2 color A. Continue in established border sts and stockinette st (P 1 row, K 1 row) for 10 inches, ending on wrong side, cut color C. NEXT 3 ROWS: With Color A K across all sts. ARMHOLE SHAPING: Bind off 4 sts at beg of next row, K across row. NEXT ROW: Bind off 4 sts, K 4 sts (border), attach color B, K 44 (48, 52) sts, attach color A, K 4 sts (border); 52 (56, 60) sts on needle. NEXT ROW: K 4 color A, P 44 (48, 52) sts color B, K 4 color A. NEXT ROW: (Dec): K 4, K 2 tog, K to within last 6 sts, K 2 tog, K 4; 50 (54, 58) sts. Repeat last 2 rows twice; 46 (50, 54) sts. Work even in established colors until armhole measures 9 (9 ½, 10) inches from 1st armhole bind off, ending on wrong side of work. SHAPE SHOULDER: Work across 12 (12, 12) sts, turn; work back. Repeat last 2 rows once. NEXT ROW: Bind off 6 sts in matching colors, cut A, K to end of row. NEXT ROW: P 6, bind off. NECK BAND: With right side facing, attach color A and K across row to within last 12 sts (all sizes), turn. NEXT 5 ROWS: K across these neck sts only, bind off, cut A. 2nd SHOULDER: Attach color B in 1st st of other shoulder and work to correspond, reversing shaping. With blunt needle, weave neck band at each side to shoulder edges.

Word of advice: Have safe search on before attempting to do internet research on African Antelope po—Actually, don’t. Just don’t research it.

FRONT: Work same as back to armhole shaping, ending with 3 rows of color A. ARMHOLE SHAPING: Bind off 4 sts at beg of next row, K to end of row. NEXT ROW: Bind off 4 sts, K 4 color A, K 20 (22, 24) color B, attach A and K 2 for center border. Leave remaining sts on needle to be worked later, turn. Working in established colors, dec 1 st at armhole edge every other row same as back; at the same time work 1st eyelet for front lacing on 5th row (eyelet: Work across row to within last 4 sts of center, K 2 tog, YO, K 2). Work 2 more eyelets in same manner every 2 inches. Work even until section measures 6 inches from 1st armhole bind off, ending on wrong side.

Besides the colour of this beach top more closely resembles Blue Whale poop. No, seriously.

Don’t ever say you haven’t learned anything from this blog.

NEXT ROW: K 4 color A, K 11 color B (all sizes), cut color A. At center, attach color A to color B and work remaining 8 (10, 12) sts of neck band and border, ending at front edge. NEXT ROW: K across 8 (10, 12) color A sts, with color B, P 2 tog, P across to border, K 4. Repeat last 2 rows twice; at the same time when there are 3 ridges at neck edge bind off 4 (6, 8) sts at neck edge. Then work 4 border sts at each end with color A and 8 center sts in color B. Work in established pattern until armhole measures same as back. SHAPE SHOULDERS: With matching colors, bind off 8 sts at beg of armhole edge, turn. Attach color A at center front and work other side to correspond reversing shaping and eyelets.

Clearly, the pattern editor is too grossed out by the Bongo/Whale Poop resemblance to instruct you on how to bind off the remaining stitches.

FINISHING: Block each section to size. Weave shoulder and side seams matching stripes. With color C make a chain about 30 inches long and lace through eyelets as illustrated.

Ripple Poncho

This is the Rippled Poncho Ted Bundy would wear.

One size fits all

Serial killers.

Materials Required:
AMERICAN THREAD “AUNT LYDIA’S” HEAVY RUG YARN
1 – 180 yd. skein each of any 5 colors or
3 – 70 yd. skeins each of any 5 colors
Aluminum Crochet Hook Size K OR ANY SIZE HOOK WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW

All that shouting is just to distract you from the promise that you can use “any 5 colors”. Spoiler alert: It’s a lie.

GAUGE: 2 sts = 1 inch; 2 rows = 1 inch

1st ROW: With Rust ch 119, s c in 2nd st from hook, 1 s c in each of the next 5 sts, * 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in each of the next 6 sts, skip 2 sts, 1 s c in each of the next 6 sts, repeat from * 6 times, 3 s c in next st, 1 s c in remaining 6 sts, ch 1 to turn all rows.

See? I told you it was a filthy lie! You’re to begin with Rust, and only Rust!

2nd ROW: Working in back loop of all sts throughout skip 1 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 6 s c, * 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 6 s c, skip 2 s c, 1 s c in each of the next 6 s c, repeat from * 6 times, 3 s c in next s c, 1 s c in each of the next 5 s c, skip 1 s c, working in both loops of st, 1 s c in last s c, ch 1, turn. Repeat last row throughout working 2 rows each Rust, Brown, Bongo, Antique and Yellow, cutting all colors at end of each 2nd row. (When changing colors always complete last half of st with next color). Repeat last 10 rows once more (20 rows in all).

Long story short, you can use any five colours so long as they are Rust, Brown, Bongo, Antique and Yellow.

Although to be fair, these were the only five colours people were allowed to wear in 1970.

Solid, baby!

NECK OPENING: Work in established pattern and colors across 4 points only, ch 1, turn. Work across these 4 points for 20 rows. Attach yarn at center and work across the remaining 4 points in same manner until there are 20 rows; then work across all 8 points for 20 more rows in colors as established, cut yarn.

COLLAR: Attach Yellow at neck edge in last of short rows, work 1 s c in each row increasing 1 st every 4th row (50 s c) around neck, join and ch 1 to turn each row. Working in back loop of remaining sts work 2 rows Yellow, 2 rows Antique, 2 rows 2 Rows Bongo, and 2 rows Brown, join, cut yarn.

Now drape your criminal in this rug yarn poncho, so he’ll be too overheated to outrun the fuzz.

You may also want to crochet up some matching hand-cuffs.

Because revenge is a dish best served cold, but Justice should always be warm and fuzzy.

Click here for the printable pattern.

Read more!

Watch out for falling clothes!

Knee socks from Spinnerin Knit & Crochet, c. 1975

You might be wondering what could possibly be wrong with these socks. Other than the fact that they’re “designed to be worn with knickers”, and they’re long enough to swallow a small child. Your confusion is understandable because you don’t yet realize that the man in this photo is perched on the side of a mountain, pulling on said socks.

Yes, the sock model is getting dressed, and that means at some point he was undressed. In short, I believe he’s an enthusiast of naked mountain climbing, just like famed British explorer George Mallory (1886 – 1924)!

By the way, if you happen to be an admirer of Mr. Mallory’s considerable (and well rounded!) accomplishments, a print of this picture can be purchased from the Royal Geographical Society in London.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

SOCKS

materials

Knitting Worsted Weight yarn in natural color. Double pointed needles no. 5.

pattern stitch

Olives worked on 1 st. Row 1: Work 5 times into 1 st (K once, P once, K once, P once, K once). Rows 2, 4, 6 and 8: Purl. Rows 3, 5, 7 and 9: Knit. Row 10: P these 5 sts, yo, then pass the 5 sts over the yo.

Bobbles: Worked on 1 st. * Insert the right hand needle knitwise in 1 st, draw a loop, slip this loop on the left hand needle and K 1 st in this loop. Repeat from * (twice), always inserting needle in the same stitch, you thus have 3 sts on right hand needle, then drop the initial stitch from left hand needle. On next row: P these 3 sts, yo and pass the 3 sts over yo.

I know what you’re thinking. Surely, Mallory was just getting naked in order to cross a river without soaking his clothes. But then, how do you explain this photo?

Face it, Mallory was a mountain climbing nudist. And he’s not the only one!

With no. 5 double pointed needles, cast on 48 (52) sts evenly distributed, and work on 2/2 ribbing for 3’’. Continue in reverse stockinette st. On the 5th row, begin the motifs on each side of leg. At both sides of back of leg 27 (29) sts, work on 1 st alternating pattern as follows: * 1 olive, 4 rounds in reverse stockinette st, 1 bobble, 4 rounds in reverse stockinette st * (3 times).

All over the world, from New Zealand to Germany, men are joyfully flinging off their clothes and scaling boundless heights!

The Dangerous Book For Middle-Aged Men recommends naked mountain climbing as “dangerous fun at its best”. The author, David Quantick adds, “If the Yeti can do it, and Sherpas can almost do it, then surely you can, leaping from ledge to ledge and enjoying your freedom.”

Sadly, some people are determined to ruin everyone’s fun by outlawing this healthy, manly activity. Which is why the owner of these socks had to quickly pull on his knickers and socks. The fashion police were on their way!

At same time, on the 25th row, on center 5 sts at back of leg, work decreases as follows: P 2 together, P 1, P 2 together. Repeat these decreases, one above the other, every 10 rounds (3 more times). Continue in pattern as established on remaining 40 (44) sts and after the last 4 rounds in reverse stockinette st.

And after the last 4 rounds, what? I don’t think that last sentence is finished. Hmm, I must give this some deep thought.

After careful contemplation on the slopes of Mount Yarn Stash, I’ve decided that the period was just the end of “st.” and we’re meant to keep reading.

Shape heel:

I believe we’re also meant to ignore that capital “S”. In other words, “...after the last 4 rounds in reverse stockinette st, shape heel.”

Leave 20 (22) instep sts on two needles and work on remaining 20 (22) sts as follows: work in stockinette st (K 1 row, P 1 row) for 2 1/2 (2 3/4)’’, ending on a P row, then K 11 (12), K 2 sts together, turn: next row: slip 1 st, P 2, P 2 together, turn; next row: slip 1 st, K 3, K 2 tog, turn; slip 1 st, P 4, P 2 together, turn; continue in this way until all sts are worked on both sides, ending on a purl row. (12 sts remain) 20 (22) sts left on needles for instep, pick up and K 9 (11) sts along right side of heel, distribute these 50 (56) sts evenly on 3 needles and work in rounds, keeping instep 20 (22) sts in reverse stockinette st and sole sts in stockinette st and decreasing as follows: K 2 sts together, P 20 (22) sts for instep, SKPO (slip 1 st, K next st, pass slip st over), K 26 (30) sts. Repeat these decreases in same positions on every other round 5 more times 38 (44) sts remain. When foot measures 3 1/2 (4)’’ from heel, continue in stockinette st on all sts until foot measures 4 3/4 (5)’’ from heel or longer if desired.

And pay no attention to the inconsistent punctuation and run on sentences.

Conventional rules of grammar are nothing but chains to be thrown off. We will not be bound by convention! Or clothes! Or common sense!

Here’s our knicker-clad mountaineer making his getaway – on a pair of giant knitting needles! Just think, when he gets to the bottom of the slope he can quickly knit himself up a disguise.

Shape toe: Work decreases as follows: K 9 (12), K 2 together, K 6, SKPO. Continue to decrease thus, on every other round at both sides of the 6 sts at each side of foot 7 (8) times more. 6 (8) sts remain. Join together by weaving, the 3 (4) sts of top of foot with the 3 (4) sts of bottom of foot.

I’m still undecided on the relative merits of wearing knickers versus nudity while mountain climbing. And the situation gets more complicated when you consider that in the U.K. “knickers” doesn’t mean short pants, it’s actually another word for underwear.

Which means this mountainy man is also wearing knickers!

As well as socks, boots, some climbing equipment, and one very unhappy small dog.

Okay, I’ve made up my mind. Partial or whole nudity while mountaineering is wrong – for dogs. Someone get this poor puppy a coat!

Click here for the printable pattern.

Read more!

Happy Chinese Valentine’s New Day Year!

Golden Sands Sweater pattern from Guys in Nantuk Ombré, 1972

Today is Valentine’s Day AND the beginning of the Chinese Year of the Tiger. Surely, there’s no better way to celebrate these two auspicious occasions than to knit up a sweater that’ll bring out the tiger in your Valentine!

Of course, I mean this sweater. How can you even ask that?

Why just look at how the ribbing on the sleeves and waist makes the tiger stripes appear out of focus. That effect is not accidental! It’s meant to call to mind the disheveled coat of a jungle cat, who’s much too busy prowling its territory to waste time on frivolous niceties like personal grooming. Note as well how the large, open collar of the sweater is reminiscent of the gaping maw of a predator. This is a collar for a man of large appetites, who doesn’t care about the occasional piece of fondue falling into his chest hair.

And that oversized pocket is the pièce de résistance! It proclaims that any man who wears this sweater is a tiger at heart. Plus, he has a sinus condition that requires him to keep a supply of extra large hankies close by at all times. But a tiger at heart, nonetheless!

If you still have doubts, why just eye that tiger of a man who’s modeling this sweater! According to Chinese astrology, tiger men are physically powerful, ambitious, and brave. Now look at the model again. He’s so secure in his masculinity that he doesn’t feel the need to demonstrate a single one of his tiger qualities. He’s a cool cat, ladies, and he’s single!

At least, he was single back in 1972. But for all we know, he’s still a swinging bachelor in 2010!

Rowr!

Click here for the complete pattern (and more snark!)

GOLDEN SANDS

Golden Sands is a very popular name for hotels and resorts. This yarn could be named after a romantic hideaway in Bermuda or an exotic vacation playground in Malaysia.

Or the unforgettable heated pool and laundromat of this Penticton, B.C. holiday resort.

NUMBER GY-5

Doubtless, GY-5 is the premier private suite at Penticton’s Golden Sands Resort, where the romantic ambiance inspires guests to immediately declare their undying love for each other.

You Need: Columbia-Minerva

NANTUK OMBRÉ 4-PLY (3½ oz pull skeins): Color A: 3 (4-4-5)

and

NANTUK 4-PLY KNITTING YARN (4 oz pull skeins): Color B: 2 (3-3-4)

And if the prospect of polka-dot sofas isn’t enough to seduce you, Penticton itself is known as A Place to Stay Forever! Just imagine all of the enchanted evenings you’ll spend at the Overlook Hotel, I mean Golden Sands Resort.

Just stay away from the outdoor maze. It can get a tad chilly in Canada this time of year.

Needles: One pair each “Boye” Sizes 6 & 8 and one crochet hook Size G.

Gauge: 9 sts to 2”; 6 rows to 1”

General Instructions...
Read Before Starting

Introducing a brand-new space-dyed yarn, Columbia-Minerva’s NANTUK OMBRÉ has qualities and a design that no other ombré yarn has.

I hate to accuse Columbia-Minerva of indulging in a white lie, but space-dyed yarn wasn’t available until after NASA’s first space station Skylab was launched in 1973. Unfortunately, the risk posed by pull skeins in zero gravity was unknown at the time, and a fateful tangle of Silver Nantuk Ombré caused Skylab to crash in 1979.

Sure, NASA claimed the early re-entry was caused by sun spot activity. But I have photographic proof to the contrary!

Completely color-fast and machine launderable, it has a luxurious quality that is exclusively ours.

All styles are written for Size 38. Changes for Sizes 40, 42 & 44 are in parentheses. Directions are based on the following Chest Measurements: 38 (40-42-44)”.

Technically, these chest measurements are stating the obvious. However, as I didn’t notice the lack of sizing information for my Talk Like a Nantuk Ombré Pirate Day Sweater post, I’m going to humbly let this one go.

Back: With Size 6 needles & Color A—cast on 86 (90-94-100). K 1 & P 1 in ribbing for 6”. Drop A. Change to Size 8 needles. With B—P 1 row, inc’ing 4 sts. Work in St St on the 90 (94-98-104) sts to 16” from start.

Armholes: Bind off 4 (4-4-5) at beg of next 2 rows. Dec 1 each side every other row 5 times. Work on the 72 (76-80-84) sts to 9 (9½-10-10½)” above underarm.

Shoulders: Bind off 5 (7-9-10) at beg of next 2 rows then 8 at beg of next 4 rows. Bind off 30 (30-32-32) sts for neck.

Front: Same as back to underarm, end on right side.

Hey, I just realized that Golden Sands must be a self-striping yarn! That certainly explains the haphazard creative arrangement of the sweater’s blotches bands of colour.

Armhole & Neck: Bind off 4 (4-4-5) at beg of next 2 rows. Dec 1 each side every other row 3 times. P 38 (40-42-44) sts & sl them to a holder, P to end. Dec 1 at armhole every other row twice more. Work on the 36 (38-40-42) sts to 5½ (6-6½-7)” above underarm, end at neck. Bind off 8 (8-9-9) at beg of next row. Bind off 2 at neck edge twice then dec 1 at same edge every other row 3 times. Work on 21 (23-24-26) sts to match back armhole, end at armhole edge.

Shoulder: Bind off 5 (7-8-10) at armhole once then 8 at same edge twice. Work other side.

Sleeves: With Size 6 needles and Color A—cast on 52 (54-56-60). K 1 & P 1 in ribbing for 3”. Change to Size 8 needles. Working the added sts in rib pat, inc 1 st each side every 10th row 9 times. Work on the 70 (72-74-78) sts to 20” from start.

Sleeve Cap: Bind off 4 (4-4-5) at beg of next 2 rows. Dec 1 each side every row 4 times then every other row until 30 rem. Bind off 3 at beg of next 4 rows. Bind off. Seam shoulders. Sew sleeves in place then sew side and sleeve seams.

This Sleeve Cap should not to be mistaken for a Cap Sleeve, whose bell-shaped curviness is usually reserved for women’s blouses. This is a macho macho sweater for a macho macho man.

Collar: With Size 6 needles & Color A—cast on 133 (133-137-137). K 1 & P1 in ribbing for 2 rows.

Row 3: K 1, SKP, work to last 4, P 1, K 2 tog, K1.

According to the ABBREVIATIONS, SKP means slip 1, knit 1, pass the slip stitch over the knit stitch, then SKP, SKP, SKP to my lou, SKP, SKP... okay that last bit was my addition. But c’mon, compared to pedestrian abbreviations like psso, SKP is much more fun.

Row 4: P 2, work ribbing to last 2 sts, P 2. Repeat last 2 rows until 107 (107-111-111) sts rem. Bind off. Sew to neck.

Pocket: With Size 6 needles & Color A—cast on 27. Work in ribbing for 5½”. Bind off in ribbing. Sew in place. On right side with Color A—crochet 1 row of sc on opening, ch-3 for button loop at neck. Fasten off.

Yes, it feels like cheating to do such a tiny bit of crocheting in order to give this knit sweater its finishing touch. But remember all’s fair in love and war!

So, ladies, let’s knit up this tiger sweater, put on our tiger bikinis and hunt down the Valentine of our dreams!

Rowr!

Click here for the printable pattern.


Read more!

Talk about white-out conditions!

Norwegian Ski sweater from Columbia Men’s Book, c. 1950

men ... Men ... MEN
WE DOUBT all men are just as heaven made them, or even created equal (we quote).

I quote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.” Written by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence, this statement is considered to be a central creed of the United States of America.

But who cares about all that? It’s the 1950s and you know your white artistically bleached-out man is superior to all the rest.

WE BELIEVE your man, and ours, stands well above the common herd, is worth his weight in gold and, quite confidentially, that clothes DO help to make him.

That’s right, honey, it’s all about appearances. And since your social status is handcuffed to his until death do you part, you’d better make darn sure he looks terrific!

COLUMBIA KNOWS fashions that a man likes to wear, and presents a collection of accessories he’ll want to you knit, approved by a discriminating male jury.

I believe that the discriminating male jury was actually the bewildered husband of Columbia’s pattern editor.

"The sweater’s all right, but why can’t I just wear my regular clothes?"

WHAT TYPE is the man in your life?
● Man about town or country?
● A young enthusiast?
● Man of action?
● A wonderful stay-at-home?

I’d say the handsome fellow above is a “man about town” which was the polite phrase for a 1950s car-obsessed grease monkey.

GIVE YOUR FAVORITE a Columbia Hand Knit (from those heavenly yarns by Lees) and it will be “Orchids to You” from Him.

For the complete pattern (and some flowery snark!):

Besides being the name of an obscure 1935 movie, “Orchids to You” was also a phrase indicating both admiration and congratulations on a job well done.

This vintage photo from the Louisiana State Museum is a mystery. The script in flowers reads “Orchids to you Bob” and it’s signed “WM Helis”. William G. Helis Sr. was an oil baron at the turn of the previous century. But who Bob was, and what he did to earn such a grandiose golem made of flowers has been lost to history.

What? Just look at it! That’s the golem’s head up at the top, and on the right side two orchid-y arms are reaching out to crush Bob’s enemies.

Champions of the great out-doors know the importance of right clothes for active sporting life, when success spells complete freedom of movement with fashion casting its weather eye on “climatic control”.

While women do appreciate a man with “climatic control”, I’m not convinced that these clothes allow for true “freedom of movement”. I think the designer of this sweater had a more insidious goal in mind.

“I know! I’ll send him out into the mountains wearing a thin sweater, a hat that doesn’t cover his ears, and ankle boots. If he doesn’t come back, I’ll be free to marry a man of action with a real sense of style!”

NORWEGIAN SKI SWEATER
Number 1808
Sizes 40, 42, 44 and 46

This pattern uses tables which tend to turn out badly in blogspot formatting. So instead I’ll be transcribing size 40 and placing any changes for other sizes in brackets, like so: (42, 44, 46).

Remember, this blog is a work of fiction, any similarity to real patterns, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

MATERIALS REQUIRED:

Columbia Knitting Worsted (4 ounce skein)
Seal Brown No. 5033, 6 (6, 7, 7) Skeins.
White No. 5000, all sizes, 1 Skein.

Knitting Needles:
1 Pair “Boye” Size 3 – 14 inch.
1 Pair “Boye” Size 5 – 14 inch.

It’s a Boye!

Because girls back then had too much fashion sense to wear such a tacky sweater.

Whoa, I stand corrected.

Gauge:
5 1/2 Sts. to 1 inch (Size 5 Needles)
7 rows to 1 inch

FRONT: With Size 3 Needles and Seal Brown cast on 100 (100, 110, 110) Sts. Work in Ribbing of K.1, P.1 for 3 1/2’’ (3 1/2’’, 4’’, 4’’) increasing 11 (17, 13, 19) Sts. across last row.

Sts. on Needle: 111 (117, 123, 129) Sts.

Change to Size 5 Needles and Stockinette St. Work 4 rows, then work from Chart No. 1 (below) as follows:

Okay, I see stunted fir trees, deceased deciduous trees, a couple of caribou, and...

Salacious Crumb riding on the carbonite-encased body of Han Solo?

Row 5–Seal Brown K.13 (16, 19, 22), join * White K.1, Seal Brown K.21 (carry White strand loosely across back of work, catching it about every 4th St. by inserting right hand needle in St., place White strand over the needle, the K. with Brown being careful to keep White in back), repeat from * across, ending Seal Brown. K.9 (12, 15, 18).

Row 6–Seal Brown P.5 (8, 11, 14). * White P.3, Brown P.1, White P.1, Brown P.1, White P.3, Brown P. 13, repeat from * across, ending Brown. P.9 (12, 15, 18).

Continue to work in this manner until design is completed, then break White strand, with Seal Brown work even until work measures 16 1/2’’ (16 1/2’’, 17’’, 17 1/2’’) from start (or desired length to underarm), ending with P. row.

To Shape Armholes: Bind off 10 Sts. at side edge, join White and start design from Chart No. 2 (see below) in 19th (22nd, 25th, 28th) St.

What do you mean, you can’t see the resemblance to a Star Wars creature? Why, just check out these skiers!

Clearly, Oola and Bib Fortuna are enjoying a well-deserved ski vacation!

Bind off 10 Sts. at beginning of next row, then decrease 1 St. each side 4every other row 3 times. When design is completed, break White strand and continue with Seal Brown until armhole measures 7 inches (measured straight from bound-off Sts. at underarm).

To Shape Neck: K.56 (59, 62, 65), slip these Sts. on St. Holder, on remaining 29 (32, 35, 38) Sts. work Right Shoulder as follows: Decrease 1 St. at neck edge every other row 5 times.

When armhole measures 8 1/2’’ (9’’, 9’’, 9 1/2’’),

To Shape Shoulders: Bind off 8 (9, 10, 11) Sts. at armhole edge every other row 3 times.
Leaving 27 Sts. at center on St. Holder, work Left Shoulder to correspond.

Neckband: With Size 3 Needles pick up and K 48 (52, 52, 56) Sts. across neck edge (including Sts. on St. Holder). Work in Ribbing of K.1, P.1, for 1 1/4 inches. Bind off loosely in Ribbing.

BACK Work same as Front until armhole measures same as at Front (working design from Chart No. 1 only and omitting neck opening).

Sts. on Needle: 85 (91, 97, 103) Sts.

But why, you ask, would Salacious Crumb be transporting Han Solo’s body across a frozen wasteland?

Obviously because Jabba the Hutt needed a new coffee table for his mountain top ski lodge.

Sheesh, do I have to explain everything?

To Shape Shoulders: Bind off 8 (9, 10, 11) Sts. at beginning of each of the next 6 rows. Change to Size 3 Needles and work remaining Sts. in Ribbing of K.1, P.1, as for Neckband on Front.

Right Sleeve: With Size 3 Needles cast on 48 (50, 52, 54) Sts. Work in Ribbing of K.1, P.1, for 3’’ (3’’, 3 1/2’’, 4’’) increasing 12 (14, 12, 14) Sts. across last row.

Sts. on Needle: 60 (64, 64, 68) Sts.

Change to Size 5 Needles and work in Stockinette St., increasing 1 St. each side every 10th row twelve times.

Sts. on Needle: 84 (88, 88, 92) Sts.

Work even until Sleeve measures 21’’ (21 1/2’’, 22’’, 22’’) (or desired length).

To Shape Cap of Sleeve: Bind off 10 Sts. at beginning of each of the next 2 rows. Start design from Chart No. 3 (below) on next row as follows: K.2 together, K.19 (21, 21, 23), join White K.5, Brown K.2, White K.6, Brown K.3, White K.13, Brown K.12 (14, 14, 16), K.2 together.

Oh no, it’s a Mugato!

Okay, technically Mugatos are from Star Trek and couldn’t possibly appear on a Star Wars sweater. But I wouldn’t argue about it with him.

Follow Chart for design and decrease 1 St. each side every other row 9 (11, 11, 12) times more, then bind off 2 Sts. at beginning of each row 12 times, bind off remaining 20 (20, 20, 22) Sts.

Work Left Sleeve the same, but reverse Chart No. 3, starting Row 1 of Chart as follows: K.2 together, K.12 (14, 14, 16), join White K.13, Brown K.3, white K.6, Brown K.2, White K.5, Brown K.19 (21, 21, 23). K.2 together (Dog on each Sleeve facing Front).

Sew shoulder seams. Sew Sleeves in place, sew underarm and sleeve seams.

What do you mean the creature in the chart is just a dog? It’s bigger than the skiers!

I certainly hope there aren’t any giant Mugatos roaming the mountains of British Columbia. That would add a whole new element of anxiety to this year’s Winter Olympics!

Ski, kid, ski! As fast as you can!

Click here for the printable pattern.

Read more!

Son of Phentex

“Week-End” cardigan and necktie pamphlet, c. 1970.

Handmade by Mother has already alerted the public to the terrible risks of approaching Phentex in the wild. But the grisly photo above proves that city folk are in just as much jeopardy as their country cousins. Also, this clear evidence of two Phentex sweaters hunting as a pair discredits the long held assumption that Phentex is a murderous loner.

The brown cable sweater has wisely targeted the younger and weaker prey. The stiffness of the boy’s stance shows how Phentex first immobilizes its victim with its crystalline itchiness. Then, and only then, will it attempt to choke its prey with a polypropylene polymer tentacle, here cleverly camouflaged as a knitted tie. So, if you ever see such an ugly as sin tie, quickly rip it off the victim’s neck and bludgeon the hideous creature to death. Sure, the court-ordered 72 hour psychiatric assessment will be a tad inconvenient, but just think of the gratitude of the person whose life you’ve just saved.

I’m moved to tears by the boy’s frantic attempt to gain his father’s attention by picking at his woolen trousers. Alas, the larger, goldenrod Phentex sweater is distracting dad with seductive lies about how his mod clothing and hairstyle make him look too young to have such a strapping son. Dad’s puffed out chest and pretentious pipe handling confirms that he will not discover just how ugly his sweater is until it’s far too late.

For the complete pattern (and more Phentex Phun!)

“Week-End” Style No. 7175

Materials: -- Phentex (3 ply): 8 ((12)) skeins of Phentex; 3 buttons; Two No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8); Two No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9); 1 extra needle (cable needle).

SIZES: -- Boys: 12 yrs – Men: 40-42.
Directions are given for size 12. Changes for sizes 40-42 are in parentheses (( )).

The double parentheses are to protect you from exposure to so much Phentex.

TENSION (GAUGE): -- 3 sts = 1 in. – 9 rows = 2 ins. with Phentex double (6 ply) and No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9) or any other size that will give the correct tension (gauge).

PATTERN STITCHES

GARTER STITCH: -- All rows, K.
STOCKING-STITCH (STOCKINETTE-ST): -- 1 row K, 1 row P.
SAND STITCH: -- Row 1: K1, P1. -- Row 2: -- K.

It was necessary to provide this basic information because only absolute beginners could be bamboozled into taking on a pattern involving this much Phentex.

N.B. – Use Phentex double (6 ply)

N.B. is the abbreviation for Notez Bien which is French Canadian for “Forget to Use Phentex and We’ll Pour Poutine down your Parka”.

BACK

With No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8) and Phentex double (6 ply), cast on 60 sts ((84)).

Knit 6 rows in ribbing: K1, P1.

Change to No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9) and proceed.

Row 1: -- (K1, P1) on next 12 ((15)) sts., K8, (K1, P1) on next 20 ((15)) sts., K8, (K1, P1) on next 12 ((15)) sts., ((K8, (K1, P1) on next 15 sts)).
Row 2: -- K12 ((15)) sts, P8, K20 ((15)) sts, P8, K12 ((15)) sts, ((P8, K15)). Rep these 2 rows 5 times.
Row 13: -- **(K1,P1) on next 12 ((15)) sts, sl next 4 sts on cable needle and leave at front of work, K next 4 sts, then K the 4 sts on cable needle (this is called a cable);

Don’t patronize me!

Even beginners know that using a cabling needle causes cables to spontaneously appear.

(K1, P1) on next 20 ((15)) sts, make a cable (K1, P1) on next 12 ((15)) sts, ((make a cable, (K1, P1) on next 15 sts)).
Row 14: -- Rep row 2.
Rep rows 1 and 2, 5 times**.

THESE ROWS from ** to ** FORM A PATTERN.

And I said, DON’T PATRONIZE ME!

Knit in pat until work measures 13 ((16)) ins or the desired length.

RAGLAN: -- Working in pat, dec 1 st at each end of needle every 2 rows until 24 ((34)) sts remain on needle. Cast off (bind off).

RIGHT FRONT: -- With No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8) cast on 34 ((46)) sts.
Row 1: -- K4, (border in garter st) knit in ribbing (K1, P1) across row.
Row 2: -- Knit in ribbing to last 4 sts, K4.
Rep these 2 rows, twice.

Change to No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9) and proceed.

I’m beginning to suspect that this pattern editor is patronizing Americans.

Row 1: -- K4, (K1, P1) on next 10 ((17)) sts, K8, (K1, P1) on next 12 ((17)) sts.
Row 2: -- K12, ((17)), P8, K14 ((21)).

Cont border in garter st and the pat until work measures 13 ins.

Size 12: -- Working in pat, dec 1 st every 2 rows at armhole edge and 1 st every 4 rows at neckline edge, knitting 5th and 6th sts tog in order to keep the border of 4 sts in garter st.

Hey, I just noticed that this pamphlet was published in St. Hyacinthe, Québec. That means that it’s us Canadians patronizing Americans.

Stephen Colbert was right! When it comes to Americans, Canadians can be real Iceholes.

((Sizes 40-42: -- Working in pat dec 1 st every 5 rows at neckline edge, knitting 5th and 6th sts tog in order to keep the border of 4 sts in garter st. When work measures 16 ins, dec 1 st every 2 rows at armhole edge.))

Dec in this manner at neckline and armhole edges until 7 sts rem. Leave 4 border sts in waiting and cast off (bind off) the 3 other sts.

LEFT SIDE: -- With No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8) cast on 34 ((46)) sts.
Row 1: -- Work in ribbing (K1, P1) to last 4 sts, K4 (border).
Row 2: -- K4, work in ribbing across row.
Row 3: -- Rep row 1.
Row 4: -- K2. Cast off (bind off) next 2 sts for buttonhole. Cont in ribbing across row.

But then Americans have been known to put down their northerly neighbour, Soviet Canuckistan.

Row 5: -- Work in ribbing to last 2 sts, cast on 2 sts to close buttonhole, K last 2 sts.
Row 6: -- Rep row 2.

Change to No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9): --
Row 1: -- (K1, P1) on next 12 ((17)) sts, K 8, (K1, P1) on next 10 ((17)) sts, K4 (border).
Row 2: -- K14, ((21)) sts, P8, K12 ((17)) sts.

Cont as for right front, taking care to make 2 other buttonholes, having 18 ((20)) rows between each buttonhole and reversing all shapings.

SLEEVES: -- With No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8) cast on 24 ((40)) sts.
Knit 6 rows in ribbing (K1, P1).

Change to No. 4 knitting needles (American Size No. 9).
Row 1: -- (K1, P1) on next 8 ((16)) sts, K8, (K1, P1) on next 8 ((16)) sts.
Row 2: -- K8 ((16)), P8, K8 ((16)) sts.

Cont in pat inc 1 st each end of needle on the 8th ((14)) row and at every 6th ((10th)) following row until 38 ((52)) sts on needle.
Cont without further inc until sleeve measures 14 ((17)) ins or desired length.

To be fair, Canadians often enjoy jokes made at our expense.

RAGLAN: -- Dec 1 st each end of needle every 2 rows until 2 sts rem on needle. Cast off (bind off).

NECK EDGE: -- Join Phentex to 4 sts of front border left in waiting, and knit these 4 sts in garter st until work measures about 10 ((11)) ins.
Join to 4 sts of other front border.

NECKTIE: -- Use Phentex (3 ply) for necktie.
With No. 5 knitting needles (American Size No. 8) cast on 11 sts.
Row 1: -- K1, P1 across row.
Row 2: -- (Wrong side of work). K.
K in pat (rows 1 and 2) until necktie measures 15 ins or desired length. Dec 1 st each end of needle on next 2 rows.
Knit in pat the 7 sts left until work measures 14 ins. Cast off (bind off).

Let’s face it, when your national symbol is an aquatic rodent, a sense of humour is a must!

FINISHING: -- Pin the pieces out to measurements and cover with a damp cloth.
Holding a steam iron about 2 ins above the pieces, pass lightly over allowing only the steam to pass thro’ the cloth.

Um, was there a time when steam irons produced something other than steam?

I shudder to think of the possibilities.

Leave pinned out to dry.

ASSEMBLING: -- Sew seams, sleeves, and buttons in place.

do not press
no
dry cleaning
No phone calls will be accepted regarding patterns or instructions. If you have a query write to Pattern Division, Phentex Inc.

I suspect that most of the mail Phentex Inc. received were wrongful death suits from bereaved relatives. However, I agree with the no telephone rule. I wouldn’t want to listen to someone’s last strangled gasps as a Phentex tie throttled them either.

Click here for the printable pattern.

Read more!

Target Practice

The Target pattern from Handknits for Men by Beehive for All Occasions, c. 1944.

“Hey Dad, are you and Mom getting along?” Joe Junior asked.

“Of course we are, son. Why do you ask?”

“She seemed pretty steamed about that dishy new secretary you hired.”

“Tempest in a teapot. Why, your Mother made this sharp vest for me by way of apology.” Joe Sr. smiled. Thelma had a hot temper, but she wasn’t one to hold a grudge.

“Um, but Dad, it’s got a target right over your heart.”

“That’s because she also signed us up for archery classes. She’s almost as good as a man with her bow.”

Junior didn’t look appeased. “But, there’s arrows sticking right out of the target. It’s like Mom’s saying, shoot here!”

“Son, you got your suspicious mind from your Mother. Now, let’s forget all this nonsense, and go bang some balls on the tennis court.”

Joe Junior wasn’t surprised by the phone call he got next week about his father’s fatal archery accident. He was tempted to call the cops, but he was too scared. His Mother might knit up a vest for him too.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Here, Thelma’s grandmother practices her archery just before her husband’s fatal archery accident.

Target in EIGHT SIZES

That’s right, only EIGHT SIZES! If your philanderer is too small or large, you’ll just have to come up with a more creative punishment.

See instructions for “The Favourite” page 2. Embroidery chart see page 15.

And we’re done!

Seriously, that’s all the pattern booklet says. So, after a quick scan of the “Place Arrows Here” chart and a link to the Favourite, this will be the shortest Handmade by Motherpost evah.

What, I only transcribed the v-neck version and this vest has a round neck?

Well, shoot.

All right, here’s the gosh-darned pattern with a round neck, for you green-eyed monsters who want to target your fickle Favourite.

4 ply BEEHIVE FINGERING, PATONISED.

or

PATWIN 4 ply PATONIZED KNITTING WOOL WITH NYLON.

Just remember shooting him yourself is illegal. However, the jury’s still out on dressing someone up in the Target vest before a game of How Not to Be Seen.

For Quantity required, see below. Two No. 11 and two No. 10 Queen Bee Knitting Needles. One Stitch Holder.

FOR THE EMBROIDERY. See desired Chart for colours and design, pages 19, 20 and 32.

Tension: 7 ½ sts. and 10 rows = 1 inch with No. 10 needles.

Check tension– see page 33.

For Washing Instructions– see page 33.

Now, this is how you dress your archer if you actually want him to survive a Monty Python sketch.

MEASUREMENTS AND QUANTITY OF WOOL REQUIRED

(A) SIZES 38, 40, 42, 44

The instructions are written for size 38.
Sizes 40, 42, and 44 are written in brackets thus:—( )

THE SLEEVELESS PULLOVER WITH ROUND NECK

FRONT: With No. 11 needles cast on 128 sts. (40—136 sts.) (42—142 sts.) (44—148 sts.).

Work exactly as given for Back of Sleeveless Pullover, see page 13, to 94 sts on needle. (40—98 sts.) (42—102 sts.) (44—106 sts.). Continue even in Stocking st. until armhole from first shaping measures 6 1/2 ins. (40—7 ins.) (42—7 ins.) (44—7 1/2 ins.) ending with purl row.

Stocking stitch is just an old-fashioned name for stockinette. Although, these 1940s ladies found that dressing up in a natty outfit and stockings ensured that the men didn’t know what hit them.

Oh, and here’s page 13. Be sure to pack a lunch before setting out to find the couple of lines that actually apply to this pattern.

To shape neck: K33. (40—K35) (42—K37) (44—K39) Turn.

Leaving remaining sts. on spare needle, continue in Stocking st. on these 33 sts. (40—35 sts.) (42—37 sts.) (44—39 sts.) dec. 1. st. at neck edge every alternate row to 29 sts. on needle. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—33 sts.)

Now, if you’re concerned that the Target vest is too subtle a hint for other archers, you can always try this outfit.

Who knew the competition to join the 4 H Club of Maine was so cut throat?

Continue even until armhole from first shaping measures 9 ins. (40—9 1/2 ins.) (42—9 1/2 ins.) (44—10 ins.)

Shape shoulder as given for (A) Sleeveless Pullover with “V” Neck, see above.

Now, I could send you on a wild goose chase in “The Favourite” post. But I’m so nice, I cut and paste the old instructions instead.

Feel free to express your gratitude in poetry, song, or cash. Especially cash.

To shape shoulder: At armhole cast off 10 sts. every alternate row twice, 9 sts. once. (40—Cast off 10 sts. every alternate row 3 times) (42—Cast off 11 sts. every alternate row twice, 10 sts. once)(44—Cast off 11 sts. every alternate row 3 times)

With right side of work facing, join wool to sts. left on st. holder and work other side to correspond.

Leaving next 28 sts. (all sizes) on spare needle, with right side of work facing, join wool to remaining 33 sts. (40—35 sts.) (42—37 sts.) (44—39 sts.) and work other side to correspond.

BACK: See page 13.

AKA the Chart of Unusual Size scanned above.

Resist the temptation to make your target too oversized, or you might end up with a result of questionable taste.

NECKBAND: Work exactly as given for Neckband of (A) Pullover with Sleeves and Round Neck, see page 3. Sew right shoulder seam.

Sew left shoulder seam. Slip sts. from st. holder at back of neck onto No. 11 needle. With right side of work facing join wool and with No. 11 needles knit these sts. Pick up and knit 28 sts. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—34 sts.) along left side of neck. Knit across sts. from spare needle at front of neck. Pick up and knit 28 sts. (40—30 sts.) (42—32 sts.) (44—34 sts.) along right side of neck. Work 9 rows ribbing (K1.P1). Cast off loosely in ribbing.

ARMBANDS: See page 13.

You know the drill.

For Make Up and Embroidery, see page 13.

As with the Favourite, page 13 only sends you off to the photo on page 32. Warning: readers with heart conditions should not view this dangerously over-stimulating action shot.

Once you’ve recovered from all the excitement, you’re ready for the Target chart.

Feel free to use colours other than those suggested. After all, if you’re going to give someone the shaft, why go with a boring choice like beige?

(B) Sizes 46, 48, 50 and 52

Already? Gosh, “The Favourite” was much more complicated. Round necks good, V necks bad!

The instructions are written for size 46. Sizes 48, 50 and 52 are written in brackets thus:—( )

FRONT: With No. 11 needles cast on 154 sts. (48—160 sts.) (50—166 sts.) (52—172 sts.).

Work exactly as given for Back of Sleeveless Pullover, see page 13, to 108 sts on needle. (48—110 sts.) (50—112 sts.) (52—114 sts.). Continue even in Stocking st. until armhole from first shaping measures 7 1/2 ins. (48—8 ins.) (50—8 ins.) (52—8 1/2 ins.) ending with purl row.

Still, it would be easier just to print your own target and tape it to the enemy of your choice.

Also, a scan of page 13 is located in section A. I’d include it again here, but I’ve been informed that kind of torture is a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

To shape neck: K40. (48—K41) (50—K42) (52—K43) Turn.

Leaving remaining sts. on spare needle, continue in Stocking st. on these 40 sts. (48—41 sts.) (50—42 sts.) (52—43 sts.) dec. 1. st. at neck edge every alternate row to 33 sts. on needle. (48—34 sts.) (50—34 sts.) (52—35 sts.)

Continue even until armhole from first shaping measures 10 ins. (48—10 1/2 ins.) (50—10 1/2 ins.) (52—11 ins.)

Shape shoulder as given for (B) Sleeveless Pullover with “V” Neck, see above.

Actually, see below.

To shape shoulder: At armhole cast off 11 sts. every alternate row 3 times. (48—Cast off 12 sts. every alternate row once, 11 sts. twice) (50 as 48)
(52—Cast off 12 sts. every alternate row twice, 11 sts. once).

With right side of work facing, join wool to sts. left on st. holder and work other side to correspond.

Leaving next 28 sts. (all sizes) on spare needle, with right side of work facing, join wool to remaining 40 sts. (48—41 sts.) (50—42 sts.) (52—43 sts.) and work other side to correspond.

BACK: See page 13.

Now, you get to look up. Waaay up!

NECKBAND: Work exactly as given for Neckband of (B) Pullover with Sleeves and Round Neck, see page 4. Sew right shoulder seam.

See below.

Sew left shoulder seam. Slip sts. from st. holder at back of neck onto No. 11 needle. With right side of work facing join wool and with No. 11 needles knit these sts. Pick up and knit 34 sts. (48—36 sts.) (50—36 sts.) (52—38 sts.) along left side of neck. Knit across sts. from spare needle at front of neck. Pick up and knit 34 sts. (48—36 sts.) (50—36 sts.) (52—38 sts.) along right side of neck. Work 9 rows ribbing (K1.P1). Cast off loosely in ribbing.

ARMBANDS: See page 13.

Simon says look up! Are you dizzy yet?

For Make Up and Embroidery, see page 13.

Once again, I send you to section A. Not because I’m giving preferential treatment to smaller targets, but because if I post that embroidery picture again, the internet will die of boredom.

As for the target chart, I’d rather include this more daring Japanese option for men’s archery wear.

Click here for the printable pattern.

Read more!