The Penguins are Marching!

Penguin Bath Set from Bathroom Beauties, 1950

In the 1940s, penguins were forced to rely upon the kindness of fickle little girls, but the 1950s were a period of great prosperity for penguin-kind. With the end of the Second World War, the Nazis had been booted out of Antarctica, and Global Warming was a long way in the future. It was a penguin paradise!

But what about the Red Scare, you ask?

Why, didn’t you know that penguins are communists? They live communally, own no property, and share their resources. Moreover, I have proof of Pinko Penguins conspiring with the Red Ruskies to claim Antarctica for the Soviet Union.

Yes, these sedentary, towel loving penguins have no inkling that their Soviet masters will one day disappear, forcing them to become the lean, mean marching machines of the modern age.

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

Penguin BATH SET

MATERIALS:

J. & P. Coats or Clark's O.N.T. Pearl Cotton, Size 5: 6 balls each of No. 12 Black and No. 1 White; 3 balls of No. 11 Orange, or

J. & P. Coats Knit-Cro-Sheen: 2 balls each of No. 12 Black and No. 1 White and 1 ball of No. 43 Dk. Yellow.

Milward's Steel Crochet Hook No. 7.

Aqua bath towel, hand towel and washcloth.

Reports of melting sea ice may have you feeling sorry for these birds, but don’t be fooled! Penguins are the architects of their own doom.

LARGE PENGUIN – Front . . . Starting at lower edge with White, ch 20. 1st row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in each ch across. Ch 3, turn. 2nd row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc and in each sc across, 2 dc in last sc. Ch 1, turn. 3rd row: Sc in each dc across, sc in top of turning chain. Ch 3, turn. 4th and 5th rows: Repeat 2nd and 3rd rows. 6th row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc and in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. 7th row: Sc in each dc across, sc in top of turning chain. Ch 3, turn. 8th to 11th rows incl: Repeat 6th and 7th rows 2 more times. 12th row: Skip first sc, holding back on hook the last loop of each dc, make dc in next 2 sc, thread over and draw through all loops on hook (1 dc decreased), dc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn.

No, it’s true. Penguins were so busy partying with the Commies they never bothered to learn how to fly. Don’t believe me? Just look at this incontrovertible evidence!

13th row: Repeat 7th row. 14th row: Repeat 12th row. 15th row: Repeat 7th row. 16th row. Skip first sc, dec 1 dc, dc in each sc across to within last 3 sc, dec 1 dc, dc in last sc. Ch 1, turn. 17th to 24th rows incl: Repeat last 2 rows alternately 4 more times. Break off.

FLIPPER . . . Starting at tip with Black, ch 3. 1st row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook and in next ch. Ch 1, turn. 2nd row: 2 sc in first sc, sc in next sc. Ch 1, turn. 3rd row: Sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. 4th row: 2 sc in first sc, sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. Repeat 3rd and 4th rows until piece measures 1 ¾ inches, ending with 3rd row. Ch 3, turn. Next row: Skip first sc, dc in next sc, half dc in next sc, sc in each remaining sc across. Ch 1, turn. Following row: Sc in each st across, sc in top of turning chain. Ch 3, turn. Repeat last 2 rows 2 more times. Break off.

BACK . . . Work as for Flipper until piece measures 1 ¾ inches, ending with 3rd row. Ch 1, turn. Next row: 2 sc in first sc, sc in each sc across to within last 2 sc, work off 2 sc as 1 sc (1 sc decreased). Ch 1, turn.

But oh, you say, those poor penguins! They’re cold and hungry out on that melting ice! I should knit them a sweater!

Following row: Sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. Repeat last 2 rows until piece measures 4 ½ inches in all, ending at back. Ch 1, turn.

To Shape Neck: 1st row: Dec 1 sc at both ends of row. Ch 1, turn. 2nd row: Sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. Repeat last 2 rows once more. Ch 4, turn.

HEAD . . . 1st row: 10 tr in first sc, ch 1, sl st in last sc on row. Turn. 2nd row: Sc in ch-1 sp, half dc in first tr, dc in next 2 tr, 2 tr in each of next 5 tr, 2 dc in next tr, half dc in next tr, sc in top of turning chain. Break off.

Don’t do it! Once they start wearing human clothes, they’ll want everything we have. That’s right, your little knitting project will trigger the Penguin Apocalypse!

BEAK . . . With Yellow ch 12, sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next ch, half dc in next 2 ch, dc in next 3 ch, tr in next 4 ch. Break off.

FOOT (Make 2) . . . With Yellow ch 2, 3 sc in 2nd ch from hook. Ch 1, turn. 2nd row: 2 sc in first sc, sc in next sc, 2 sc in next sc. Ch 1, turn. 3rd to 6th rows incl: 2 sc in first sc, sc in each sc across, 2 sc in last sc. Ch 1, turn. At end of 6th row, ch 5, turn. 7th row: Holding back on hook the last loop of each d tr, skip 4 sc, d tr in next sc, (skip 3 sc, d tr in next sc) twice; thread over and draw through all loops on hook, ch 1, sl st in starting chain of foot to form webbing. Break off.
Sew Front and Back pieces together, sew Flipper in place, sew Beak to Head, sew Feet in place. With White, embroider eye. Make 8 more Penguins in this manner. Sew 5 Penguins to bath towel and 4 Penguins to hand towel.

But seriously, don’t knit sweaters for the wee penguins! They’ve already got too many.

And cranky penguins with rocket launchers aside, there’s few things worse than having a closet stuffed full of hand-knitted gifts that you simply can’t wear.

SMALL PENGUIN – FRONT . . . Starting at lower edge with White, ch 15. Work as for Large Penguin until 3 rows are completed. 4th to 7th rows incl: Repeat 6th and 7th rows of Large Penguin alternately twice. 8th row: Repeat 12th row of Large Penguin. 9th row: Repeat 7th row of Large Penguin. 10th and 11th rows: Repeat last 2 rows once more. 12th row: Repeat 16th row of Large Penguin. 13th row: Repeat 7th row of Large Penguin. 14th to 19th rows incl: Repeat last 2 rows alternately 3 more times. Break off.

FLIPPER . . . Work as for Flipper of Large Penguin until piece measures 1 inch. Ch 2, turn. Next row: Skip first sc, half dc in next sc, sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. Following row: Sc in each st across and in turning chain. Ch 2, turn. Repeat last 2 rows once more. Break off.

You can’t throw away that scratchy purple and green turtleneck sweater, or give it to someone else. Your beloved, elderly aunt Myrtle made it – for you! All you can do is hang it in your closet and stare despairingly at it every morning.

BACK . . . Work as for Flipper until piece measures 1 inch. Ch 1, turn. Next row: 2 sc in first sc, sc in each sc across to within last 2 sc, dec 1 sc. Ch 1, turn. Following row: Sc in each sc across. Ch 1, turn. Repeat last 2 rows until piece measures 3 inches in all, ending at back.

To Shape Neck: Work as for Large Penguin until 2 rows are completed. Ch 3, turn.

HEAD . . . 1st row: 7 dc in first sc, ch 1, sc in last sc on row. Turn. 2nd row: Sc in ch-1 sp, half dc in first dc, dc in next dc, 2 dc in each of next 4 dc, half sc in next dc, sc in top of turning chain. Break off.

Ahem. Not that I’m talking about a particular sweater. Or a particular aunt Myrtle.

BEAK . . . With Yellow, ch 8, sl st in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next ch, half dc in next 2 ch, dc in next 3 ch. Break off.

FOOT (Make 2) . . . Work as for Foot of Large Penguin until 4 rows are completed. Ch 3, turn. 5th row: Holding back on hook the last loop of each dc (skip 2 dc, dc in next sc) 3 times; thread over and draw through all loops on hook, ch 1, sl st in starting chain. Break off.
Complete as for Large Penguin. Sew to corner of washcloth.

My point is that if pasting crocheted communists penguins all over your bath towels isn’t enough to keep you busy, you don’t have to resort to knitting sweaters for real penguins.

Just make a hat for this adorable little penguin, instead.

Click here for the printable pattern.