tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72899694608999711882012-01-20T13:52:59.627-08:00This blog is the happy result of a near OCD compulsion to transcribe - and mock! - vintage patterns, ads, and other odds and sods.Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.comBlogger2711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-19706361708904619282012-01-07T10:25:00.000-08:002012-01-07T11:13:01.662-08:00

Ladies’ Ski Mask from “Easy to Make Fashions for the North, South, East, West”, c. 1960 So, clearly it’s time to fight back by frightening the heck out of Jack Frost. Those who remember the 1960s speak fondly of the Summer of Love, but they never mention the Winter of Rabid Hate. But now I understand why so many hippies fled to San Francisco in 1967 and overindulged in free love and

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-19855941516551854722011-12-31T18:05:00.000-08:002011-12-31T18:05:05.562-08:00

The Workbasket, December, 1983 Elegance for Evening Perfect for the holidays! The black sport weight yarn creates skyscrapers against a sparkling sky of metallic yarn. Ah, the eighties! When the smoggy sky literally sparkled with volatile organic compounds. Every New Year was greeted with the festive sound of Grandpa’s emphysema acting up as he tried to sing Auld Lang Syne with the family.

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The Workbasket, December 1983 Create a chorus of pine cone carolers for “singing” around your Christmas tree. “Singing” is in quotes because clearly this caroller is “screaming”. Because nothing says Winter Solstice like terrifying crafts. This merry masterpiece was inspired by the ancient pagan tradition of sacrificing frozen carollers to ensure the return of the sun. Revellers would then

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-91562372330042215002011-12-16T12:24:00.000-08:002011-12-16T12:25:19.568-08:00

While I’ve been neglecting this blog (but for very good reason, which I promise I’ll reveal with great fanfare soon), faithful reader Jenny has been busily crocheting up a storm. She’s even made the famous Ripple Socks! Jenny writes: “Pay no mind to the fact that these socks are worn through...” Keep reading for her hilarious explanation of the sad state of her ripple socks. I wear my socks

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-63678854683195685822011-10-31T09:44:00.000-07:002011-10-31T09:45:30.081-07:00

Halloween Apron from Coats & Clark’s Edgings Book No. 305, 1954 At last the truth is revealed! Halloween isn’t about eating candy until you puke, or watching scary movies involving an excessive amount of projectile vomiting. Halloween is all about preserving your femininity. So, there’s no better way to celebrate Halloween than to don a ladylike apron you made with your very own little

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-20419188228505620342011-10-14T20:06:00.000-07:002011-10-14T20:06:52.548-07:00

Planning & Remodeling Kitchens, c. 1975 Now that you’ve crocheted up some new anthropomorphic, tea-partying potholders, you need a new kitchen to show them off. Besides, you probably burned down your old kitchen attempting to simultaneously crochet and deep fry parsley. But you don’t need just any old kitchen. You need a seventies kitchen. Bright, modern, spacious... Wait, what’s that

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-85869259828990487712011-09-26T15:17:00.000-07:002011-09-26T15:18:50.261-07:00

Potholder patterns and Parsley Puffs recipe from Star Potholders, c. 1955 Your eyes do not deceive you – the good people at Star Potholders combined recipes with crochet patterns. After all, everyone who loves to crochet must also love to cook, right? And vice versa, naturally. Just such a versatile lady is pictured above, barefoot but not visibly pregnant in the Star Potholder kitchen. Don’t

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-5201448475545027122011-07-16T19:29:00.000-07:002011-07-16T19:32:37.306-07:00

By the He Sea and Ripple Poncho patterns from Aunt Lydia’s Rug Yarn Collection, c. 1970 You won’t find the “He Sea” on any map, but Aunt Lydia assures me that you’ll find these handsome beach bums right by it. And who am I to doubt Aunt Lydia? Sure, she wants to cover up our menfolk in heavy rug yarn for the summer, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely delusional. I think this He Sea is

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-18649629703836263302011-07-14T14:52:00.000-07:002011-07-14T14:54:29.728-07:00

The good news is that a small (but feisty) Canadian publisher has expressed interest in my 2009 3-Day Novel Alice’s Adventures with Welsh Zombies. As the novel is about 20,000 words short of being ... well, a novel, I’ve spent the past two months writing my still beating heart out. The bad news is that I haven’t had time to devote to Handmade by Mother. I haven’t even been knitting! Fact is,

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-79760607330304689062011-05-08T06:36:00.000-07:002011-05-08T06:36:27.503-07:00

“Apple Pie Order” from Knick-Knacks to Crochet, 1939 Keep your linen closet neat as a pin with these crocheted bands that put pillow cases, single and double sheets in their places. Weighted tips. My linen closet doesn’t look like this. My mother’s linen closet doesn’t look like this, and she grew up when Neatness was next to Godliness. Please note, these sheets aren’t just labeled, they’ve

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-61265473925471219112011-04-30T15:21:00.000-07:002011-04-30T15:22:52.473-07:00

Sweet and Low Sweater from Gay Teen Ideas, 1944 Sweet and Low Perfectly dee-vine dancing partner. Rings the Belle every time and keeps ‘em coming back for more. Rings the BELLE? My goodness, is that code for naughty1940s nookie? It sure was by 1979! Glamour-minded rugcutters please note the definitely P.M. neck-line, low and square; the come hitherish black velvet ribbons here, there

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-83056779361653687962011-04-16T08:38:00.000-07:002011-04-16T18:23:05.060-07:00

Knitted Place Mats from Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn, c. 1965 Yes, the first time a new bride welcomes her husband into her most private sanctum is a nerve-racking affair. It’s that magical moment when, with trembling hands … dare I say it … she sets the table for breakfast. That’s right, what happens in your breakfast nook is far more important to your marital bliss than all that neurotic

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-53108228697861091152011-04-06T07:07:00.000-07:002011-04-06T07:12:17.787-07:00

Pompon Chick from Bazaar Time, c. 1965 Pompon chick design supplied by the County Borough of Brighton Occupational Therapy Dept. Yes, this unique pompon chick design was actually donated to Bazaar Time by the Brighton Occupational Therapy Department of the Brighton County Borough Asylum! There’s no indication whether they also provided the yummy lollipops. Clearly, the OT Dept. of the

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-58316262661060581212011-04-01T04:34:00.000-07:002011-04-01T04:34:31.150-07:00

Initial Knitting Bag from Star Variety Show, 1942 And this is the only purse that’s Hellspawn approved for carrying damned souls into the fiery pit. Yes, you’d think demons would have more attractive accessories for the Apocalypse. But even the most ignorant imp knows that one glimpse of that big fuzzy H will cause the hardiest housewife to abandon all hope. Now, I’m no theologian, so I don’

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-65011890626095526992011-03-21T07:30:00.000-07:002011-03-21T07:30:55.383-07:00

The Ripple Granny Jacket and Hat from Crochet with Squares, 1974 With apologies to Right Said Fred… whaddaya mean, who’s Right Said Fred?! I’m too sexy for my followers, too sexy for my followers Please, followers don’t leave me! I’m too sexy for my jacket, too sexy for my jacket So sexy I can’t hack it I’m too sexy for the ski lodge, too sexy for the ski lodge Bates Motel or Econo Lodge

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-76184448350216016432011-03-16T07:51:00.000-07:002011-03-16T07:51:44.986-07:00

Thanks to my friend, Hind of Alexandria, Egypt, we have a brand new DIY! This lovely young lady is Wa’ad, who longtime readers may remember for her lovely purse and cloche hat. Above, she’s working on a very special, one could say, revolutionary doily. For the whole story: Hind writes: Dear Victoria, I am glad to be able to send some photos of Wa'ad, (who is now fourteen years old) while she

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-59483978992343830142011-03-13T15:16:00.000-07:002011-03-13T15:22:37.504-07:00

“Appolo” Pillow from Decoration 2000, 1972 “Appolo” isn’t a spelling mistake. This pillow is made of Phentex, ergo it would be inappropriate to name it after Apollo, the Greek God of light and poetry. No, this interior decorator’s nightmare is named Appolo which in ancient Greek meant the destroyer. Given Appolo’s hatred of Apollo, I can only assume that little Bobby and Cindy accidentally

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-74940000680136229452011-03-03T08:20:00.000-08:002011-03-03T08:20:59.581-08:00

Rabbit Slippers from Beehive for Bairns, 1980, original pattern c. 1950 It may be March, but the groundhog lied! Spring is still a long way away for most of Canada and the United States. Of course, we can’t really blame Canada’s own Wiarton Willie, as he was forced to make his Groundhog Day prediction indoors, due to a blizzard raging outside. And regardless of whether the Yankee Punxsutawney

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-58172132693236995222011-02-22T05:53:00.000-08:002011-02-22T05:53:58.209-08:00

Cleopatra High Hat from Bangle Hats, 1962 As rebellion spreads across the Middle East and Africa, I’ve been asking myself, how can I help the more fashion-conscious protesters? After all, the photos my beloved friend Hind from Alexandria, Egypt sent me clearly demonstrate that fashionistas desperately need help standing out in these crowds. But I guarantee if you wear this Cleopatra High Hat,

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-33419086855564623612011-02-13T07:07:00.000-08:002011-02-13T07:07:15.869-08:00

All Heart Skimp from “The Great Little Crochet Skimps”, c. 1975 It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you’re no doubt thinking about knitting something special for the man you love. Don’t do it! You may believe that only sweaters will curse a relationship, but even knitting a fifteen foot scarf for your boyfriend is a one way ticket to Lonely-Town! Still, you’re desperate to prove you love him, so

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-32944227977887208652011-02-04T14:28:00.000-08:002011-02-04T14:28:31.606-08:00

Fur Trimmed Helmet and Mittens from Good Housekeeping Needlecraft, Fall-Winter 1973-74 USE FUR FOR A SPECIAL EFFECT But not a real fur helmet, that’s cruel. Seriously, that shaggy stuff drooping from her knitwear doesn’t look remotely real. However, it’s a timely reminder that you should always take off your mitts before eating cotton candy. You can bundle up in cold weather and still look

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-46933468910662657362011-01-28T03:46:00.000-08:002011-01-28T03:47:34.114-08:00

Carnation from Gift Shopping with Crochet, 1942 “Crochet your own Bouquet!” exhorts the pattern book. Words to live by, now more than ever. After all, in these modern times you can’t rely on your date providing the all important corsage for the prom. So, start crocheting your fake flower now, or risk utter humiliation on the most important night of your high school life! Oh yes it is – Disney

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-56240932788885565742011-01-19T13:23:00.000-08:002011-01-19T13:23:53.963-08:00

Shag Jacket from Woman’s Day Knit & Stitch Number 9, 1973 I suppose you’d have to fringe up jackets just for fun, as I can’t imagine anyone paying you to do it. Although, knotting ten billion pieces of fringe onto a jacket doesn’t sound like much fun. Sure, nowadays it would be a hoot to show up at your local Star Wars convention and claim you skinned Peter Mayhew. But this jacket’s from 1973,

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-9051218918197096432011-01-12T11:15:00.000-08:002011-01-12T11:15:07.347-08:00

Cotton jewelry from Star Variety Show of Knitted and Crocheted Models, 1942 Cotton jewelry – nothing gayer, nothing newer, nothing more talk-provoking. The United States had just entered the war the previous December. What else could there be to talk about, other than cotton jewelry? Although to be fair, the designers are trying to support their boys overseas. Why waste metal in foolish

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-30847491344585444552011-01-05T06:57:00.000-08:002011-01-05T06:57:25.416-08:00

Ah, the sweater girl! What could be sexier? The phrase brings to mind Lana Turner breaking the hearts of all seven of her husbands in her sultry knits. Or Jane Russell’s famous bust bursting at the seams of a sweater that didn’t keep her warm, but sure heated up the fellas! And then there’s this poor woman... Date Bait sweater from Newlands, Vol. Seven, Book Twelve, 1948 Eloise couldn’t

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-11548581664513525902011-01-01T14:40:00.000-08:002011-01-01T14:43:09.988-08:00

Helpful Hints from The Children’s Book’ Vol. 86, 1935 Baby Deserves the Best in Yarns Too! And that means... Bear Brand and Bucilla! “Call 911!” you scream. Those babies have yarn wrapped around their necks, and now they’re EATING it! Have no fear, gentle (and easily alarmed) reader. Bear Brand and Bucilla yarns are totally digestible and guaranteed not to plug a baby’s tender intestines.

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-8911547171040804792010-12-29T08:01:00.000-08:002010-12-29T08:01:43.275-08:00

At-Home Gown from McCall’s Needlework, Spring-Summer, 1972 Thanks to the response to the above photo in the Americana Jumper post, I now know I am not alone in my belief that granny squares are the sexiest form of crochet! True, most of my fellow granny lovers wish to remain anonymous, but who can blame them considering the vitriol often aimed at granny fashion. But I’m unafraid of exposing

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-65993594798307438182010-12-24T03:47:00.000-08:002010-12-24T03:47:34.082-08:00

Dritz Art Needlework Ad from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts, Winter 1978 Unless, during the 1970s, sensational was a synonym for bleak and depressing. To be fair, being a survivalist was a lot tougher those days. There were no websites to provide tips on how to decorate your bunker for Christmas, or what gifts to buy relatives who refuse to prepare for the collapse of Western civilization. So

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-64234052094990674402010-12-23T06:21:00.000-08:002010-12-28T19:40:50.620-08:00

Large Santa Claus from “YOU asked for these”, Star Book No. 208, c. 1965 You better not cry, You better not pout, I’m telling you why... Because not only is Santa Claus coming to town, he’s bringing what YOU asked for! Yes, YOU asked for a shapeless granny square pullover. YOU asked for a useless doily for your disco dancing cherub. And, since you’re a sucker for punishment, YOU also asked

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-26292068758006093052010-12-21T09:07:00.000-08:002010-12-21T09:07:23.066-08:00

Ribbon Art, c. 1920 Ribbon Art: How to make Hundreds of Dainty and Practical things of Ribbons Illustrated in Colors with detailed instructions Detailed instructions -- that’s very promising. Just imagine all the authentically Dainty and Practical 1920s accessories we can make! We’ll be the cat’s meow!Fashion and Ribbon MORE and more, the important costume designers and smart interior

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-66035142787602953522010-12-16T22:43:00.000-08:002010-12-16T22:46:03.885-08:00

Snowflake Mobile from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980 This photo is stark warning to us all. Don’t leave your Snowflake mobile unguarded for a single second this holiday season. Otherwise, the Grinch will leave nothing but hooks and some wire. SNOWFLAKE MOBILE By Betty LeachHey, this is the same Betty who brought us the Happy Hanukkah UFO! So, by all means make both crafts to

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-76018279928610870702010-12-14T15:40:00.000-08:002010-12-14T15:42:53.894-08:00

Stocking Place Mats from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980 Stocking Place Mats By Carol Ann Nadeau To add a festive touch to your holiday table we present this stocking place mat. Children will especially love the way the stocking holds their utensils and napkin. Adults, on the other hand, will be especially annoyed by how their wine glass keeps falling off this lumpy, crocheted

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-49739826960481875562010-12-09T06:09:00.000-08:002010-12-09T06:09:43.167-08:00

Christmas Tree Coasters from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980 Thanks to the Southern Pine Beetle, the Spruce Spider Mite, and the White Pine Weevil, live Christmas trees will soon be harder to find than an Xbox Kinect this Xmas Eve. But don’t let the imminent deforestation of North America destroy your holiday spirit! During the Great Christmas Tree Shortage of 1980 (caused by

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-72015614200091276382010-12-07T10:18:00.000-08:002010-12-07T10:21:35.422-08:00

Carefree Washable Wool Ad from Vogue Knitting, Holiday, 1986 CARING GIFTS IN CAREFREE, WASHABLE WOOL Nothing's too good for that favorite kid. But the other three? Meh. They can have stretched out old sweaters you picked up at the flea market. And if the oldest complains that her Christmas sweater is way too long, just tell her that it’s a dress meant to be worn with tights. Then take lots

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-7113492567602298502010-12-01T11:14:00.000-08:002010-12-01T11:16:30.190-08:00

UFO from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980 I know it’s hard to tell from this grainy, faded photo, but that’s not a plant hanger. That button down flap would guarantee my plants would die ... faster than usual. I supposed you could store your dried herbs in this not-a-pot-hanger, but this isn’t a handy device for keeping your illicit substances out of the reach of your cats,

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-68345234112771731812010-11-24T19:46:00.000-08:002010-11-24T19:46:20.793-08:00

Big Rainbow Block from Family Circle Great Ideas: 112 Fashions and Crafts, August 1980 It’s almost the end of November! That means it’s time to wrap the last of your Christmas gifts, and double check your extended family tree to ensure you haven’t overlooked any of your second cousins (twice removed). What’s that? You haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet? You haven’t even started?!

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-8430648771088744362010-11-17T12:25:00.000-08:002010-11-17T12:25:10.624-08:00

“Touch Appeal” dress from Spinnerin International Preference, Vol. 171, 1964 For a pattern called “Touch Appeal”, that gentleman is very cautious about getting too close to her. “Is it safe?” he wonders. “I know, I’ll poke it with a stick, and see what happens.” Of course, he was never seen again, because she was actually the comic book villainess Poison Ivy in disguise. She pelted him with

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-22486310462382663922010-11-10T08:42:00.000-08:002010-11-10T08:42:46.266-08:00

Americana Jumper from Crochet World, April 1979 One Piece at a Time By Jean G. Caprera In her rocking chair the little gray haired woman peacefully swayed back and forth, the rhythm of the motion keeping time to the pace of her crochet hook. Little did she know that the Crochet Hook Murderer was about to strike!If this description matches your own notion of the average crocheter, then you are

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-18087181559797846752010-11-03T15:38:00.000-07:002010-11-03T15:38:47.850-07:00

Chicken Potholder Mitt from “Gifts, Knitted and Crocheted”, 1956. Who doesn’t love potholders? They keep your fingers from being scorched, and they’re the perfect way to assert your individuality even while you’re being oppressed by the patriarchy cooking a delicious meal for your family. The sleepy fish clearly proclaims to the world that Helen the Housewife prefers seafood because it cooks

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-58549860913385631572010-10-31T08:06:00.000-07:002010-10-31T08:10:01.881-07:00

Clown Mask from Crochet World, Special Issue No. 6, 1984 “Awww... what a cute kitty. And who’s that holding the Trick-or-treat bag? Oh my god! KILL IT! Kill the EVIL CLOWN! Oh wait, it’s just Justin. Sorry kid, I didn’t mean to bludgeon you with my broom. Just take that darn mask off. It’s not safe. The next person who sees you might grab a shotgun, and then you’ll have a lot more to

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-54271516374835820662010-10-28T08:47:00.000-07:002010-10-28T08:48:23.001-07:00

Trick or Treat Pumpkin from Crochet World Omnibook, Fall 1980 Longtime readers will recognize the squished jack o’ lantern on the far left as the Pumpkin of Halloween Past, Crocheted Jack o’ Lantern version 1.0 AKA Ms. Mushy. This year, we’ll be making the pumpkin in the middle, a crochet craft based on the legend of Stringy Jack! Who’s that? C’mon, everybody knows about Stringy Jack. He was

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-15185037971266403552010-10-26T05:49:00.000-07:002010-10-26T05:49:06.179-07:00

Door Witch from Crochet World No. 6 Special Issue, 1984 Witch hunting is no longer in vogue, but witches are still not safe in the modern world. Every Halloween, thousands of witches tragically become roadkill. Yet no one wants to wear an orange ribbon to raise awareness of this sorceress slaughter! The poor witch above, known only as Roadkilla #666, was clearly dragged for several miles by

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-27431573181052490272010-10-21T06:14:00.000-07:002010-10-21T06:17:19.446-07:00

Cookie Basket and Cigarette Basket, Card Table Accessories from Wrought Iron Crochet, 1954 Now that your home is decorated with wall to wall yaks, it’s time to set your supper table with these macabre masterpieces. For no Halloween party would be complete without grandma’s memento mori card table accessories. Back in the 1950s, weekly bridge games were played to the death – or at the very least

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-17001856366039416252010-10-19T05:37:00.000-07:002010-10-19T05:37:54.999-07:00

Wild Yak Yak pattern from “Gifts”, Star Gift Book No. 150, c. 1950 There’s only 11 more shopping days before Halloween, and you haven’t finished your decorating yet! You don’t want a repeat of last year when you left all your decorating until Halloween Eve, do you? Your neighbours are still talking about how you overdosed on coffee and ecstasy, and carved pumpkins non-stop for 24 hours. What’

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-90818965522535576072010-10-14T06:38:00.000-07:002010-10-14T06:38:22.416-07:00

Houndstooth Tunic from Phentex, 1967 First, Phentex went after your son and husband. Then your little girl was next on the chopping block. Still, you thought you were safe. Foolishly, you thought that Phentex wouldn’t bite the hand that knit it. That’s what Jeanie thought too. Lured in by Phentex’s promises not to stretch or shrink, she slapped down her twenty cents thinking that was the only

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Dirndle Plaid Suspender Skirt from “Pauline Denham”, c. 1965 My husband caught a glimpse of this cover from across the room, and chuckled in a filthy way only he can manage. “Baby, I’d sample some of her candy...” Then he took a closer look and said, “Actually, no. I take that back. I’m not messing with her.” “Why’s that?” I asked. “Look at her scary eyes. If you crossed her, she’d boil

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Boy’s Ski Mask from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts, Fall-Winter 1965-66 BOYS’ SKI MASK: Warm little Indian wears his feathers knitted over pipe cleaners, his war paint of duplicate stitch. Knitted nosepiece sewn on. Knitting worsted. 4-8. Believe it or not, this ski mask is NOT a Halloween costume. And little Ronnie’s soul is NOT being crushed by the humiliation of having to wear it in public

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-67342386939268781892010-10-06T05:59:00.000-07:002010-10-06T06:04:14.764-07:00

Modern Needle/Craft, Fall-Winter, 1967 ON THE COVER Jumbo Jet Knit raglan pullover and crocheted hat made of Reynolds’ Monique, Plumage and Scotch Mist yarns. A “Scotch Mist” is a depressingly steady drizzle which accurately describes Monique’s modeling career. Just look at the desperation in her eyes! “This is my one shot at becoming a real model. Needlecraft magazines lead to Sears

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-16487601585722113232010-10-02T07:45:00.000-07:002010-10-02T07:45:49.051-07:00

Pack-o-Fun Ad from McCall’s Needlework & Crafts, Fall-Winter 1963-64 All across North America grocery stores are charging the punitive sum of five cents for plastic bags. Sure, using cloth bags is good for the environment, but what about the plastic bag poodle? Doesn’t anyone care that fabulous poodles like Pierre above are now facing extinction? But don’t despair, plastic poodle lovers! I have

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-33256881606147315562010-09-30T05:44:00.000-07:002010-09-30T05:47:14.804-07:00

Jacket with Poodle Loop Fur Front from Brunswick Coat Designs, 1969 So far, PoodleFest 2010 has shown you how to poodle-up your home and your children, but what about you? Isn’t it about time you nurtured your inner poodle? Bonny knit up a Poodle Loop Fur Front jacket, and now she’s strutting around town like a poodle on steroids! True, her loopy swagger might land Bonny on her butt at any

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-88710152752230019272010-09-28T06:18:00.000-07:002010-09-28T06:18:31.661-07:00

Poodle Cardigan or Slipover for Girls from KNIT O GRAF, 1954 Are you over 18 years old? Are any children in your household at school or safely tucked away in bed? Good. Because no responsible parent would want a child exposed to the utter depravity of this poodle sweater. True, your sons and daughters will eventually learn from the internet that poodles attend fetish clubs. However, there’s no

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-69840557841974973022010-09-24T12:08:00.000-07:002010-09-24T12:10:08.755-07:00

“La-la-la,” sang Miss Tissue-Poo. “I love my new friend, Miss Spray-Poo! She’s a hair-spray cozy and she keeps me safe from Mr. Fishy Fangs. You can find her marvellously uncomplicated pattern right here.” “Excuse me, but I’m much to cool for old-fashioned hairspray,” said Miss Spray-Poo. “My insides are a tall, slim bottle of Aussie Sydney Smooth Heat Protector. When the heat is on, be

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-60552858504371474312010-09-23T06:05:00.000-07:002010-09-23T06:05:56.049-07:00

Miss Tissue-Poo is pleased to make her bathroom debut! She was crocheted from the very finest acrylic yarn, and has eight of the finest extra-fluffy pompoms. Her eyes are two blue buttons which complement her ribbon, and her nose was embroidered with a scrap of shiny pink yarn. She’s too much of a lady to stick a red felt tongue out at people using the powder room, so I ignored that part of

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-80061339377617157872010-09-21T07:42:00.000-07:002010-09-21T07:46:47.593-07:00

French poodle! from “Make It Yourself with Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn”, c. 1965 Qu'est-ce que c'est? I hear you ask. Or if you don’t parlez la belle langue, you asked in an outrageous Inspector Clouseau accent, what are these things? Mon Dieu, these are French poodles! And not some Québécois poutine-nibbling posers. Non, these are genuine Parisian poodles. Why, these two have chewed on

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Pat the Poodle from Crocheting with Lily Cotton Rug Yarn, c. 1965 This is not Stylopath’s gorgeous “Pat the Poodle”. No, this is the other Pat the Poodle. The one that’s skinny, stiff and fulfills no function other than gathering dust and traumatizing small children. “Pat the Poodle,” shouts Scary Aunt Agnes at her ten year old niece Suzie. “That’s her name because you have to Pat the

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-1814326880986452202010-09-14T07:06:00.000-07:002010-09-16T06:39:01.361-07:00

Poodle Set from McCall’s Needlework Fall-Winter, 1952-53 To properly celebrate PoodleFest, it’s not enough to cover your toilet rolls and hair spray with poodles. You need to turn your children into poodles, too. As McCall’s helpfully points out, “What makes it fun is – her crocheted hat has poodle ears, her scarf, poodle legs, and a poodle muff cuddles her pinkies.” Yes, wearing the

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-1725166852522612342010-09-09T06:23:00.000-07:002010-09-09T06:23:25.726-07:00

Hair Spray Cover from “Knit, Crochet, Embroider and Braid with Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn”, c. 1965 Think your bathroom is a poodle paradise just because your toilet rolls and guest soaps have been poodlized? Think again! What about all the other common bathroom items currently flaunting their nudity for everyone to see? Think of your hairspray inspiring your neighbours to live in sin!

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-774641704356746542010-09-07T07:05:00.000-07:002010-09-07T07:09:02.058-07:00

Mother is ignoring Baby, hoping Baby will drown herself and she’ll finally be free from the soul-crushing tedium of middleclass suburbia. “I was glamorous once,” she tells her reflection in the mirror. “Why, my prom dress still fits!” But there’s still hope for this desperate housewife. All she has to do to restore meaning to her humdrum life is take up knitting and start covering everything

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-62666733213055807962010-09-03T14:11:00.000-07:002010-09-03T14:11:01.188-07:00

Yes, it’s time for me to abandon my husband and children and lock myself away to write another novel in a mind-bending 72 hours. Yesterday, my twelve year old son asked plaintively, “Will you be making three days worth of meals ahead of time, so we have something to eat?” I just laughed cruelly and twirled my pencil, because I don’t have an old-timey moustache to twirl. It’ll be character

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-81821723269634088182010-05-27T08:57:00.000-07:002010-05-27T08:59:38.049-07:00

Handmade by Mother will be on summer hiatus for the months of June, July and August 2010. It’s not because I need a vacation from blogging (okay, maybe I do), but due to all the travelling I’ll be doing this summer. In fact, some of the more exotic, isolated locales I’ll be visiting won’t have access to the interwebs. You guessed it – I’m going to Northern Ontario! I’ll bet you a shiny nickel

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-26059272883603442712010-05-27T08:41:00.000-07:002010-05-27T08:41:42.280-07:00

Peter Pan collar from “Fluffy Ruffles”, 1951 Poor Sandy. All year, she was a good girl. She obeyed her parents, thought of others before herself, was only seen and never heard. And this was the thanks she got on her birthday. A cupcake instead of a birthday cake. One lousy candle instead of seven (with one more to grow on). And a hand-me-down velveteen dress that used to belong to her odious

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-66322154394515639902010-05-25T06:01:00.000-07:002010-05-27T09:06:27.050-07:00

Flower Duet from McCall’s Needlework and Crafts, Spring-Summer 1970 Your local theatre is holding auditions for Godspell, and you’re desperate for your chance to belt out Day by Day somewhere other than in the shower. But last year you lost the part of Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ, Superstar to Shelley, who’s not even an alto! Rumour has it that she’s sleeping with the director Mike. So, how

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-19684723648114753902010-05-24T04:59:00.000-07:002010-05-24T04:59:38.382-07:00

“Pretty Little Miss” Dress Style No. 6959, 1969 During the 1960s, the little Miss Phentex pageant was held every Victoria Day here in Canada. Above is the winner for 1969, Vicki Regina, whose shrewd mother had insisted her daughter wear gloves. When all the other girls in the competition touched the scratchy surface of their Phentex dresses without the same protection, they burst into hysterics

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-27033275669160320022010-05-20T04:25:00.000-07:002010-05-20T04:25:28.699-07:00

Butterfly hat and gloves from “Butterflies in Crochet”, 1951. To the excitement of film enthusiasts everywhere a long-lost film of Hitchcock’s has recently been unearthed. Twelve years before Hitchcock filmed his horror masterpiece The Birds, he had directed a strikingly similar film... The Butterflies! Regrettably, the film was quickly relegated to obscurity by an audience unwilling to accept

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-45494567204013840932010-05-18T04:28:00.000-07:002010-05-18T04:28:42.809-07:00

“Picture Window” from Fluffy Ruffles, 1951 Thanks to your idiot husband – he would have to dabble in the Black Arts – your home has been sucked into a Hell Dimension. Now, there’s an impenetrable grey fog surrounding your domicile, and the unrelenting drabness is getting a mite depressing. What’s a housewife to do? Well, I’ll tell you what you can’t do! You can’t let these minor setbacks in

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-22870369029352584672010-05-13T06:59:00.000-07:002011-04-16T08:42:05.633-07:00

Kitchen Set place mat, glass jacket, and stool pillow from Kitchen Crochet, 1954 Were you heartbroken when Starbucks’ new 128 oz Plenta size turned out to be an April Fools joke? Is pouring Jolt cola over your bowl of corn flakes making you a tad jittery? Have you begun injecting Red Bull between your toes because drinking it no longer gives you wiiiings? If you answered yes to any of the above

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-22940441945013318222010-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:002010-05-11T06:40:53.693-07:00

Daffodil Hanger from Quick Tricks in Crochet, 1950 Unfortunately, I missed Daffodil Month. However, it’s still Spring in the Great White North, and that means daffodils are blooming cheerily everywhere. Except in your closet. That’s right, I looked inside your closet. And do you know what I found? Not a single solitary daffodil. And no, your jaunty jonquil sweater doesn’t count. So, what are

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-74673479503169671552010-05-09T04:10:00.000-07:002010-05-09T04:10:44.401-07:00

Knitted Bed Jackets from “Gifts, Knitted and Crocheted”, 1946 I’m very worried about this new mother. Sure, she seems happy, and normally I’m very much in favor of lounging around in bed in pajamas. But this woman is smiling ecstatically at a six-month sized bed jacket – and there’s no six month old child anywhere to be seen! Is she really a mother? Or is her baby just a figment of her

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-31229142165267108962010-05-06T04:59:00.000-07:002010-05-06T04:59:59.299-07:00

Tulip Time Hostess Set from Coats & Clark’s Hostess Book, 1956 Here’s a housewife who really knows how to celebrate springtime! Veronica’s invited over the entire Bridge Club and she’s going to treat them to an afternoon tea to remember. Everyone gets six chilled shrimp, two lime wedges, and exactly one table spoon of Marinara sauce. The Marinara sauce is what gives the spread a soupçon of

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-55439654741263244772010-05-04T04:14:00.000-07:002010-05-04T04:15:57.807-07:00

“Gay Garden” Ketchup Bottle Cover from Kitchen Crochet, 1964 It’s warming up outside and soon it’ll be time for backyard entertaining around the barbeque. So, you open up your fridge to check your supply of condiments, and there’s your ketchup bottle – naked! How can you possibly put ketchup that’s gaily flaunting its nakedness on your picnic table? What would the neighbours think? What

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-62367508213938671932010-04-29T03:23:00.000-07:002010-04-29T03:25:38.333-07:00

Terry Cloth Laundry Bag and Hosiery Hanger, from Gay and Gifty Crochet Ideas, 1951 The dingy yellow walls and tiles. The dreary industrial-style furnishings. The dismal dime store decorations. The carefully washed stockings hung out to dry, because you can’t go throwing money away on new stockings or anything else that would make you feel young and gay again. Finally, the pièces de

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-21474944752806712442010-04-27T03:51:00.000-07:002010-04-27T03:55:52.258-07:00

Sally Spool from Gifts, Knitted and Crocheted, 1946 But Sally Spool does have magical powers! Imagine giving your best friend a loose pile of thread spools for their birthday. She’d call you an unimaginative cheapskate, you’d tell her off for hitting on your husband, and the party ends in tears and recriminations. But Sally the spool doll transforms your penny-pinching present into a Gift

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-4643379298182990002010-04-22T04:50:00.000-07:002010-04-22T04:50:40.109-07:00

Apron Bib pattern from “The New Baby Book”, 1947 And it’s also your duty to love all the bounty Mother Nature provides. And yes, Missy, that includes eating every single one of your vegetables. What do you mean you don’t like hot peppers? Don’t you know your Mother lovingly prepared your breakfast burritos by hand? Not only that, she also lovingly crocheted this jalapeño pepper bib, just to

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“The Frog that Wouldn’t Leap” from Knit & Crochet with Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn, c. 1965 This, children, is the Frog that Wouldn’t Leap. His mother warned him repeatedly, “Frankie, if you don’t leap, you won’t make it very far in life!” But Frankie the Frog ignored her wise advice, preferring to walk everywhere he went. “Leaping is too hard,” he said. “Besides, this way I can stop and

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-43823046435136729572010-04-19T08:08:00.000-07:002010-04-19T08:08:06.473-07:00

What better way to show your love for the craft, than to have it inked into your skin? Now you’ll never be separated from your needles, hooks and yarn, no matter what calamity might befall you. Tsunami soaked all your yarn? You can look at your tattoo and recall happier times as you drape wet skeins over the rubble of your former home. Earthquake buried all your knitting supplies? Well, at

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-61118482484465629382010-04-16T04:47:00.000-07:002010-04-16T04:47:14.535-07:00

Whisk Broom Cover from “Hand ‘n Hook Hobbies”, 1951 In today’s weight-obsessed culture, this Hawaiian broom cover is a breath of fresh air. She’s sweeping away preconceived notions about beauty by declaring, “So what if I’m overweight and flat-chested? I’m going to wear a bikini and enjoy my vacation in paradise!” And good on her! You too can strike a blow for real women everywhere by making

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Leper Bandage from Quick Tricks, Book 188, 1968 Actually, today is when Hawaiians honour the heroic life of Father Damien, who vastly improved the lives of lepers banished to Molokai Island during the 1800s. Who cares about some 19th century leper priest, you ask? I’ll have you know that Saint Damien of Molokai’s fans include Robert Louis Stevenson, Mahatma Gandhi, and the people of Belgium who

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-13312008259180958382010-04-12T06:04:00.000-07:002010-04-12T06:04:13.705-07:00

Loop the Loop Hat from “Easy to Make Fashions for the North, South, East, West”, c. 1960 Is your teenage daughter doing nothing but lying around the house, iPod stuck in one ear, cell phone glued to the other? Are you sick and tired of having to spring clean around her, feeling like you’re nothing but a maid to her? Despair no more! Your lazy bones daughter can be useful. Simply crochet up

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-33377721401723524012010-04-09T04:26:00.000-07:002010-04-09T04:26:01.058-07:00

Stop and Go Shoe Socks and Hair Do’s from “Socks and Mittens for the Family”, 1941 Mother made her children stand in a line at the end of the kitchen, all of them wearing their new Stop and Go shoe-socks. “We’re going to play a game,” she announced cheerfully to her girls. “When I say ‘go’ you begin sliding your feet around on the floors until I call ‘stop’. It’ll be grand fun!” The younger

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Ripple Coat and Dog Sweater from “Ripples, Knitted & Crocheted”, c. 1965 Barbara was a professional. She could cope with modeling a coat made from the itchiest wool imaginable. She could cope with sharing the spotlight with a spoiled rotten little dog. However, what really burned Barbara’s cookies was the fashion photographer’s bright idea to flip the ends of her hair up, so she looked just like

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Tissue Topper Made with Aunt Lydia’s Heavy Rug Yarn, Leaflet #1118, c. 1965 Easter’s almost over, but how can you say goodbye to all those adorable baby chicks and bunnies? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have the joy of Easter in your home all year round? Sure, you could purchase real baby chicks, but they’ll soon grow up. Next thing you know, you’re hiding illegal chickens in your backyard, and

Victoria Dunnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15938068756961072239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7289969460899971188.post-43198367086939812392010-04-04T04:45:00.000-07:002010-04-04T04:45:29.186-07:00

Hat and Bag No. 1798 from Fascinating Toppers, 1944 Today, Christians wear their extra special Sunday Best to celebrate the resurrection of their saviour. Jews also buy new outfits for Passover, and just about everyone in the Northern Hemisphere wants some au courant clothes to celebrate the return of spring. Traditionally, the pièce de résistance of a new spring outfit is the Easter Bonnet.

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Child’s “Bunny” Glass Jacket from New Quick Tricks, 1954 Okay, I get that it’s Good Friday because that’s the day Jesus died for everyone’s sins and Christians tend to consider this to be a good thing. But I can’t help thinking that any day when a Saviour gets brutally executed has got to be a bit of a downer. Certainly, people have tried to cheer themselves up by re-imagining the Stations of

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Amusing Egg Cozies from Bazaar Time, c. 1965 Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Still, I think it’s in very poor taste to mock your breakfast’s diagnosis of bipolar disorder with so-called “Amusing Egg Cozies”. Besides, first thing in the morning I’m not at all amused by the prospect of psychologically analyzing my eggs. I have enough problems that I don’t want to add to them by

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Bunny Bottle Holder pattern from “50 Gifts to Make from Better Living,” 1952 Here our 1950s Mother has decided to combine dinner with playtime by spiffing up her infant’s bottle with a crocheted bunny. Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? Don’t do it! Don’t you remember what happened when Homer decided to build young Bart a “fun clown bed”? Even if your infant is made of sterner stuff,

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Hat patterns from “at the drop of a hat” by Lady Galt, 1968 Don’t look into their eyes! They’re trying to hypnotize you with their psychedelic eyeballs. If they succeed, they’ll replace your eyeballs with buttons and you’ll never see your real Mother again. What? This isn’t the time to bring up issues you have with your Mother, the fate of the world is at stake! Well, fine. Now, we’ve been

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Mittens and hat patterns from “at the drop of a hat” by Lady Galt, 1968 Because there’s absolutely nothing terrifying about these guillotined gals. After all, it’s not like these decapitated mannequins are going to come to life and wreak vengeance upon us for incinerating their relations at nuclear test sites. I’m sure they’re willing to let bygones be bygones. Why just look at their blood

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Poncho and matching hat patterns from “at the drop of a hat” by Lady Galt, 1968 Children take things so literally. March twentieth was the first day of Spring, so now the little monsters are ripping off their hats and coats and running around in nothing but their shirtsleeves. Next thing you know, you have to cancel your trip to the hair salon because the kids all have the sniffles. But this

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Cluster stitch coverlet from Woman’s Day Granny Squares, No. 2, 1974 The most sophisticated granny of all! Yes, this redrum afghan could only be found in the most sophisticated Hotels of the 1970s, such as the Overlook.This eye-catching cluster stitch coverlet mirrors the super-graphic mood of many of today’s artists. If by “super-graphic mood”, you mean such nihilistic classics as Stanley

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Hooded Crochet Jacket from Ladies Home Journal Needle & Craft, Spring/Summer 1979 In days of yore dashing, romantic costumes colored the misty Irish landscape. In the days of yore, the Irish were also dropping like flies due to cholera and the potato famine. But on the bright side, they didn’t have this revolting jacket blighting their misty Irish landscape.Peg O’ My Heart, fabled Irish

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Pixie from Crochet World, October 1978 Hey, it’s almost St. Patrick’s Day, so what could be more appropriate than crocheting up a pixie wearing the Pope’s mitre? After all, this is a Catholic celebration, and St. Patrick once threw a hoard of pixies out of his church. Sure, some of the pixies still hold a grudge, but this particular one has clearly decided to change the system from within. Not

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Here is thirteen year old Jamie modeling his Handmade-by-his-own-Mother Jaunty cap, in a take-no-prisoners shade of emergency orange. I think he’s got a certain Harry Callahan air about him. “Do ya feel jaunty? Well, do ya, punk?” Faithful readers may be wondering if they’ve missed the jaunty post for this DIY. However fear not, the pattern for this sixties stocking cap hasn’t been mocked..

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Penguin Dance from Patons Young at Heart, 1988 Ah, the 1980s. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was a time of boom boxes and breakdancing. As this sweater clearly demonstrates, penguins were at the forefront of this dance craze. In fact, some of Michael Jackson’s best moves were stolen from these party hearty penguins! This is why, to this day, Michael’s music sales in

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Penguin from Beehive Bazaar, c. 1975 Not all penguins spent the Sixties hard at work in the fish-flinging factories. Plenty of penguin hippies spent the summer of love stoned out of their avian minds, convinced they really could fly. By the 1970s, these free wheeling, free-loving penguins were suffering one heck of a post-party hangover. This penguin looks like he’s having a particularly rough

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“Perky Penguin” Can Cover from Kitchen Crochet, 1964 It wasn’t easy being a penguin in 1964. The halcyon days of being pampered by little girls or palling around with Commies were long gone. However, thanks to equal opportunity legislation in Canada and the United States, penguins were finally allowed to apply for Work Visas in North America. Alas, it wasn’t the workers paradise they

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Penguin Bath Set from Bathroom Beauties, 1950 In the 1940s, penguins were forced to rely upon the kindness of fickle little girls, but the 1950s were a period of great prosperity for penguin-kind. With the end of the Second World War, the Nazis had been booted out of Antarctica, and Global Warming was a long way in the future. It was a penguin paradise! But what about the Red Scare, you ask?

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Crocheted Penguin from Star Variety Show of Knitted and Crocheted Models, 1942 Clarence the Clown is jealous of Little Lucy’s relationship with Mr. Ping the Penguin. Melvin the Monkey, however, knows that this spring romance is doomed to fail. Little Lucy and Mr. Ping come from two different worlds. She’s a flesh and blood little girl, while he’s constructed entirely of Pingouin brand yarn.

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If anyone is still under the illusion that knitting is only for little old ladies, Staff Sergeant John Sorich is here to prove that they’re sadly mistaken. Just look at all these rough and tough American soldiers knitting in Baghdad, Iraq! Sergeant Sorich is on the far right, closest to the camera. Last February 18th, he wrote to me: “There ended up being ten of us that knit in our group. Our

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In celebration of Mawlid, the Prophet’s Birthday, Faithful Reader (and Master Crocheter!) Hind of Alexandria Egypt has sent us a charming little tale. It all starts with a suave, blue Jinni, sitting among the branches of a tree, enjoying the warm afternoon sun. Read on to discover which vintage pattern inspired this Jinni! Believe it or not, our blue Jinni began with this hideous, Halloween

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African Daisy Purse from Crochet Purse Appeal, 1977 Finally, I’ve found a Black History Month pattern that isn’t racist! See? It’s just a purse! A nice, inoffensive purse. Sure, it’s not so much “almost casual to quite dressy” as it is almost depressing and quite ugly, but hey! The point is that there’s absolutely, positively no way this pattern could be rac... Hang on, what’s that in the

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